Page 36

PIERRE

D inner was great, and we are all now sitting around the fire pit drinking wine.

Nate Lewis, Sam’s friend and owner of The Paradise Club, is a great guy.

When the boys were alone earlier, he was explaining how he got Camryn back after what happened between them.

He didn’t go into too much detail, but from what he did say, it was horrible what they went through.

He explained how he sought therapy which helped him move through what happened between them.

Nate knew that he needed to be patient, just because he was in love with Camryn and ready for forever, didn’t mean she was on the same timeline.

She had to sort through her own demons before she was ready to accept forever with him.

His words resonated with me. Especially seeing how happy the two of them look together now after the hell they have been through.

I wonder if Issy and I could ever look that happy.

You did. You were. But she won’t take the risk to find out. I could make her so freakin happy.

“Issy seems to be having fun,” Sam mentions as I look over through the fire to the sand dunes to where Kimberly and Issy are dancing and giggling to the music.

“It’s the wine,” I mumble.

“Same with Kim.” He chuckles. I take a sip of my beer and watch my brother get up and whisper something to Harper as they link hands and walk off along the beach. “We might be brothers in law soon, if my sister will allow him in.”

“I don’t know why he is moving in when he’s so happy with her.”

“They got together because of Harper’s ex.

Felix was trying to protect her and in the process this “fake dating” thing they thought they were doing turned into something more.

I know Harper told him that it was until her ex got the message and left her alone, and that once the season started they would go back to being friends, but the genie is out of the bottle, and those two are in love.

I know my sister and she’s scared. She doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to dating,” Sam explains.

“She never did in high school or college either,” I add.

“Exactly, so I think your brother showing her what it’s like to be truly loved scares her.

I want my sister to be happy, and your brother makes her happy.

But I’m not going to meddle in their relationship, they both need to figure it out.

” I nod in agreement as I take a sip of my beer.

“Now I’m going to meddle with yours. How are things with Issy? ”

“Just perfect,” I answer sarcastically.

“She’s a stubborn one.” Sam chuckles.

“Don’t I know it.” I sigh. “I’ve been miserable without her. Even Frankston was depressed for a couple of days. But what can I do? She’s not willing to put the past aside and try again.”

“It sucks, man. I feel for ya,” he says, clapping me on my back. “All I can say is, be patient. Nate waited almost six months to be with Cam again. He’s been miserable this entire time, but look at him now, he would tell you it was all worth it.”

“The difference is, Cam wanted to come back. Issy disappeared fifteen years ago. I know she can go and never come back. The only reason I had a chance again is that I was forced onto her. She never wanted me,” I explain.

“Look, I think you and Issy should be together. But also, don’t forget, a month ago you were marrying someone else. Yes, you and Issy have come a long way in such a short time, but don’t you think she is worried that she’s the rebound even though you know Kitty was,” Sam states.

“Kitty was a mistake in so many ways. I just don’t know anymore, Sam. I’m sick of her using the past as an excuse. I’ll be patient, but I won’t wait forever. It’s not fair to keep punishing me,” I tell him.

“I understand.”

Felix comes back from the beach and doesn’t look happy.

“Goodnight, team, I’m going to head to bed.

Too many beers for this guy.” He grins, but I can see the smile is forced.

When I look over to Harper, she looks devastated and is huddled with Meadow in the corner.

What happened? Sam and Nate tease my brother, who takes it on the chin and waves us goodnight.

“I think we might need to get those two girls to bed too,” Sam says, elbowing me in the side as I look over to where Issy and Kimberly are rolling around in the garden laughing.

They have progressively been getting worse with each bottle of wine they have consumed.

Cam and Nate are in their own bubble, kissing and cuddling, and have no idea what’s going on around them.

“Yeah, shall we go grab them?” I ask.

Sam nods. “We’re going to call it a night. I think everyone has had too much sun,” he tells Camryn and Nate before looking over at Kimberly and Issy.

“Make sure they get to bed okay.” Cam winks at us. Nate picks her up in his arms, making her squeal as they head upstairs.

Sam and I walk over to where Issy and Kimberly are on the grass giggling and talking incoherently, but they both seem to understand each other.

“Ladies, think it might be time for bed,” Sam says, looking at them. Both flip us off before bursting into fits of laughter. Next thing I know, Sam is scooping Kimberly up and starts walking off with her, singing something about coconuts.

Issy’s smile falls when she sees me. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” she warns through slurred words.

“I think you’ve had enough to drink. It’s time for bed,” I tell her.

“You don’t tell me what to do.” She points at me as she tries to stand up, but she falls right back over again.

“The moon is spinning.” She giggles. I’ve never seen Issy this drunk before.

I do the same as Sam and scoop Issy up in my arms and head inside.

“You’re so strong,” she says, her face nuzzling into my neck, her lips touching my skin as she talks which makes it hard to carry her when I’m sporting a semi.

Then she licks me neck. “I miss licking you,” she says.

“Issy,” I growl because she’s so drunk she has no idea what she is doing to me. I take the stairs two at a time and walk into her bedroom. I place her down on her bed, but she won’t let go of my neck. “Issy, you have to let go of me.”

“I don’t want to,” she grumbles.

“But it’s bedtime, you need to go to bed.” I extricate myself from her koala grip. She stays sitting up, those chocolate-colored eyes look up at me, and I see nothing but hurt and pain behind them.

“I miss you. My home isn’t the same now.

” she sighs. Does she realize what she’s saying?

“No home-cooked meals when I get home. I’m so hungry.

Nothing I cook tastes the same.” She’s been cooking.

“I liked coming home and being slobber attacked as soon as I entered my door by that golden floof ball.” She giggles.

“I liked coming home and talking to someone about my day. It’s so quiet now.

So empty. I don’t like my home anymore. You ruined it.

” She huffs. Living in my new apartment isn’t a walk in the park either.

“You ruined me.” Issy pouts as she finally looks up at me, teary-eyed.

“You were supposed to stay in the box.” The box?

I frown. She starts making gestures of a box.

“Nice and safe in a box. But no, you couldn’t do that.

You had to come into my life again and mess it all up.

Confuse me. Make me feel things for you again.

” I still at that comment. Feel things? Does she have feelings for me?

Why does this make me happy. “You’re supposed to be in the box,” she mumbles again.

“What box?” I ask her.

“The do not open one. But I opened it and now I can’t close it again.” She sighs, wiping the tears from her eyes.

I take a seat beside her on the bed. “Would it be so bad to love me again?”

Issy looks up at me, her lip wobbles with emotion. “I never stopped and that’s what scares me.”

Oh. Wow. Wasn’t expecting that. I reach out and start wiping away her tears. “I feel the same. I miss you, Issy. My life doesn’t feel the same without you in it.”

“I want to give you a chance, Saint.” I love it when she uses my nickname.

“But my heart won’t let me,” she says with a shrug.

“I don’t know what to do. I’m very confused.

I thought drinking that wine would help me make sense of all this,” she says, swirling her hands around her head, “but nothing makes sense anymore.” I can see the war that is going on inside her regarding her feelings toward me, and I hate that loving me comes with such conflict.

“I know you’re going to find someone else one day.

Someone who can love you like I can’t. You deserve to be loved, Saint.

I want you to be happy. I’m not sure if it’s with me.

” Oh. “I’m tired.” Issy moans as she lies down in bed.

I pull the covers back and tuck her in, and she snuggles into the duvet. I press a kiss to her temple.

“I’ll wait,” I reassure her.

Issy reaches out stilling me, her eyes are still closed so I’m not sure if she is asleep or not. “I don’t deserve it.” And with that she passes out.

I didn’t sleep at all last night. After putting Issy to bed, my mind kept running over the very drunk conversation we had.

In one breathe she told me she loves me and in the next she said we can’t be together because she couldn’t love me.

It’s giving me whiplash just like today has with her.

She ignored me all day, I’m not sure if she is embarrassed or not.

“How did things go last night?” Sam asks, catching me out by the pool, throwing the ball to Frankston.

“Not great. She’s ignored me all day.”

“Did something happen?” he asks.

“Just drunken words,” I tell him.

“Seems like those drunken words may have stung,” he asks, sitting back on his sun lounger.

“She kept saying last night that I wouldn’t stay in the box. That now she’s opened the box she doesn’t know what to do. What the hell does that mean?” I ask him.

“I’m no expert, but sounds like in her mind she put you in a box.

Probably a do not touch box, it was how she was able to avoid you all these years.

” That makes sense. “But you’re back in her life now, she opened the box, and now she’s fallen for you again she can’t stick you back on the do not touch shelf in her mind and she doesn’t know what to do with you. ”

“She did confess last night that she has feelings for me. But she doesn’t think she’s the right person for me,” I explain.

“See. You’re off the shelf and she is pushing you away because she is so scared of getting hurt again,” Sam says.

“I would never hurt her again.”

“You know that. I know that. Deep down she knows that. Fear does crazy things to people. If Issy told you today that she's all in, what would you do?”

“Jump the next flight to Vegas and lock her down.”

Sam bursts out laughing. “The thing is you would. Look, Issy is here,” Sam says, holding his hand at his chest. “And you are here.” He moves his hand over his head.

“You’re going to have to meet in the middle,” he says, moving his hands to the middle, “if you want things to work out.” He’s not wrong.

“Issy is in her head. Women tend to overthink things and come up with a million and one scenarios in their minds. Their brains are scary places. She’s going to need to work through some steps to be on the same page and they may not be in a logical order either. ”

“Are you telling me I’m just going to have to go with the flow.”

“Yes. Which might be a new concept to you, but if you want the girl you’re going to have to wait.

Remember Nate. He is not a patient man in anything else other than Camryn.

If he wants something he goes out and gets it.

That situation with that attitude wouldn’t work and would push her away.

Look, he was miserable but you’re about to head into training camp you can be miserable there. Give her the time.”

“We’re talking about Issy though. I gave her time last time and she took fifteen years.”

“You make a solid point there. Well, I don’t know then. You’re screwed.” He chuckles.

Gee thanks for the chat, man.