Page 25 of Heart of Stone (Stoneheart MC #1)

HAWK

I am three bottles deep into trying to forget the look on Andi's face when Ginger finds me.

"Really?" She kicks an empty bottle aside. "This is your solution?"

I can't go home. Can't face the emptiness of the house, see her struggling with the kids across the street.

So I'd come to our bar. Owned by one crochety old-timer by the name of Devil, the bar has stood in this town for longer than the town existed. If a health inspector had dared to walk across the threshold, the place would have been shut down years ago. Instead, the bar—simply called ‘Devil’s’ because it has no official name—still stands, slinging alcohol at all hours of the day and night, and serving food that tastes solely of grease and salt.

"Fuck off," I growl, pouring myself another whiskey.

"Charming." She perches on the bar seat beside me, watching me drain the shot. "You know what your problem is?"

"Don't care."

"Your problem," she continues as if I hadn't spoken, "is that you're so busy being sergeant-at-arms that you forgot how to be human."

I snort. "That right?"

"Yeah." Tank's voice joins in as he and Axel appear in the doorway. "That's right."

Great. An intervention.

"The club needed me," I growl.

"Bullshit." Axel drops into a chair. "I was fine. Could have waited it out or found another way out. You just didn't want to choose."

"Choose what?"

"Between the club and them." Ginger's voice is sharp. "Because if you chose them, it meant admitting you care. That they matter. That you might actually need someone."

"I don't need?—"

"A family?" Tank cuts in. "People who love you? Yeah, you do. We all do."

"Those kids adored you," Ginger adds. "And that woman? She was falling for you. Hard."

"Was," I echo. The past tense hurts more than I want to admit.

"You know what I saw in that hospital?" Ginger's voice softens. "I saw a woman terrified for her kid. And instead of being able to lean on the man she trusted, she had to handle it alone. And no one can tell me that's the first time she's ever had to do anything alone."

"I didn't know?—"

"You knew." Tank’s tone is blunt. "You saw those calls coming in. You chose to ignore them."

"The club?—"

"Stop hiding behind the club." Axel’s usually gentle voice has an edge. "The club's family. Family means having each other's backs. All of us."

"Including those kids," Tank adds. "Who, by the way, are probably going to end up family anyway once Duck adopts Andi officially."

That pulls me up short. "What?"

"You didn't notice?" Ginger laughs. "Duck's been playing proud papa for months. Why do you think he gave her the restoration department? Man's looking for an heir, and his own kids aren't interested."

"Shit."

"Yeah, shit." She kicks my boot. "So congratulations. You just screwed up with the future queen of the garage."

"I fucked up," I whisper.

"Yeah, you did." Axel's voice is gruff. "Question is, what are you gonna do about it?"

"Nothing to do. She made her choice."

"Because you made yours first." Ginger slides off the stool. "You know what's sad? She wasn't asking you to choose between her and the club. She just wanted to know she mattered too."

"She does matter."

"Then fucking show her," Tank growls. "Because right now? All you're showing is that you're a coward."

"I'm not?—"

"Prove it." Ginger heads for the door. "But first, sober up and have a shower. Those kids deserve better than a drunk biker trying to win back their mom."

She leaves me with that truth bomb, Tank following after shooting me a disappointed look.

Axel slides onto the seat beside me. "What's the plan?"

"I don't know," I admit. "I never signed up for this. Never thought I'd have someone like her."

"Yeah, I feel that." He picks up the whiskey bottle, swishing the liquid around. "Lucky fucker."

I shoot him a look. "The hell are you bitching about?"

"Nothing." He takes a long draw from the bottle then swipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Oh, this should be good." Lee's voice cuts through the bar as he and Stone enter. "Axel giving relationship advice or seeking it?"

"Shut it," Axel growls, hunching his shoulders.

Stone's laugh is low and rich. "He tell you about the traffic guard yet? "

I raise an eyebrow as Axel's face reddens. "No?"

"The hot brunette," Lee explains with unholy glee. "What was her name again? Rachel?"

"Poppy," Axel mutters.

"Right. Poppy." Lee's grin widens. "Button Road's closed and this fucker thinks he can glower his way past her. Not a chance."

"Fuck all of you." Axel stands, but there's no heat in it. "At least I didn't let the best thing in my life walk away because I was too scared to admit I needed her."

They sober, each turning to look at me.

His words hit like a punch to the gut.

"I put the club first."

Stone rolls his eyes. "Those kids and that woman are club. They're family, Hawk. We understand when shit—especially health shit—hits the fan. You've got our back, you need to trust that we'll have yours."

I swallow, nodding slowly.

"You can fix this," Stone says. "If you're willing to do the work."

"How?"

"By showing up," Lee replies. "Every day. Even when it's hard. Even when the club needs you. You find a way to do both—ask for help, explain it to her."

I think about Abby in that hospital bed. About Amy's tears. About the way Andi had looked at me like she'd been expecting me to let her down.

And I had.

But I don't have to keep letting them down.

"I need to go," I say finally.

"Yeah?" Axel's smile is knowing. "Got a plan?"

I stand, suddenly clear-headed despite the whiskey. "Yeah. I do."

"This should be good," Lee mutters.

But I am already moving, purpose driving me forward. Because for the first time since I'd watched Andi walk away, I know exactly what I need to do.

I just hope I'm not too late.