Page 103 of Healed Heart

“I don’t see anything funny from where I’m standing.”I point a finger directly in his smug face.“You told Jason he didn’t deserve me.Why?Why doyoudeserve me more than he does?”

“Oh, Angie,” he chuckles again.“Do you really think you mean anything to me beyond a fuck?”

His words jolt through me.I don’t care what Ralph thinks of me, but he’s being intentionally cruel.I stand my ground.

“Then why?If I’m nothing but a fuck to you, why do this to Jason?Why tell him he doesn’t deserve me?”

For the third time, he chuckles.“For the love of all things holy, you rich bitches are all the same.”

“Now you listen?—”

He interrupts me, his voice bellowing.“No,youlisten.You’re hot as hell, but I don’t give a shit about you or your money.You think the world tilts on its axis just to keep you comfortable?That every problem is some grand injustice againstyourprivileged ass?Open your eyes.Not everything is about you.And the sooner you figure that out, the better.”

“Then when you said…”

He closes his eyes.“Get the fuck out, Angie.If you’re not going to fuck me, get out.I’m done talking to you.”

I leave the room, slamming the door behind me.I walk down the hallway, my boots clicking on the tile floor.I wait at the elevator, and as the door finally opens and I step in, a whirlpool of emotions swallows me whole.I lean against the cool metal wall and let out a shaky breath.Seeing Ralph like that, the pain etched across his face yet his words harsh and unyielding, shook me more than it should have.

What am I not seeing here?

The elevator descends.I reach the lobby, stumble out, and make my way through the revolving doors and onto the street.The chill bites into my skin.

Ralph’s words continue to echo in my mind.

Open your eyes.Not everything is about you.And the sooner you figure that out, the better.

A gush of wind hits me.It’s so chilly it takes my breath away.I stuff my hands into my pockets and start walking back to the medical school.I can just make my afternoon class with Dr.Engel.Delving into psychiatry will help me forget Ralph and his vague accusations.

When I get to the classroom, though, the topic for discussion makes me want to hurl.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, the slide reads, and Dr.Engel begins his lecture with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Often characterized by grandiosity, lack of empathy for other people, need for admiration, and attention-seeking behavior,” he says.“Sounds like someone you might know, doesn’t it?A family member, perhaps?”He chuckles to himself.

My heart pounds as I try to focus on anything but Ralph’s face and his harsh words.But no matter how hard I try, I can’t shake off his venomous remarks.

“Remember, these individuals often have a sense of entitlement and expect favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations,” Dr.Engel continues.“They also have trouble handling criticism and may become impatient or angry when they don’t receive special treatment.”

Yeah, sounds a lot like someone I know.Someone whose hospital room I just visited.

“They can also be manipulative,” Dr.Engel says.“They exploit others without feeling guilt or remorse.They may belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior.At the heart of such behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to even the slightest criticism.”

His words mirror Ralph’s behavior with terrifying accuracy.My mind starts spinning, fear and anger and confusion all mixing into a nauseating swirl.

I pack my things and rush out of the classroom, ignoring Dr.Engel’s surprised look and the curious eyes of my classmates.

I need air.I need space to think.

The moment I step outside the building, I gulp down the cool air, trying to calm my racing thoughts.

Ralph doesn’t care what he’s doing to Jason.What he’s doing to me.

And he made it a point to tell me that not everything’s about me.

Oh my God.

Did he tell Jason that he specifically didn’t deserve me?