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He looked so distraught, so much like the old Jackson,myJackson, my PK, my preacher’s kid, I wanted to take him in my arms and comfort him. Instead, I asked, “How’s little Oren?”
Jackson beamed. “He’s good. He’s in preschool. Growing like a weed. Smart as a whip. Always has his nose in a book—he reminds me of you…”
“Face it, you’re a bookworm magnet.”
Jackson laughed, a warm familiar sound I hadn’t heard in ages and hadn’t realized until now, I’d missed.
“And co-parenting with Kitt is working out OK?”
“No. Last month, I filed for and got full custody of Oren after years of no contact—no calls or texts—not even a card on his birthday—from Kitt.”
“I’m sorry. Why—”
“She thought she could replace you,” he said quietly.
I glanced at his left hand, at the platinum wedding band I’d first placed on his finger at the jewelry counter in Tiffany so long ago. He followed my eyes, twisted his ring with his left hand self-consciously. “I couldn’t bring myself to take it off. That would have felt like I’d lost you completely. Do you mind?”
Afraid to speak, I shook my head no in response to his question. Looking at him, watching his face, seeing the way he looked at me, I wondered if we could find love again on the other side of the apocalypse. If we could, it was onlybecause it was he; because it was I.
“Why are you wearing two watches?” he asked.
“Because wearing one would have felt like losing you completely.”
He looked at me, puzzled.Shut up, you ass, I told myself,before you make this conversation more awkward.Then, before I could stop myself, I blurted, “Do you want to get lunch?”
Epilogue
Oren woke up, as he often did, because he needed to pee. Once awake, he discovered little Oren had crawled into bed between them. He and Jackson curled towards him like protecting brackets; his and Jackson’s fingers entwined across the boy’s narrow waist.
A slight breeze sent the fragrance of night-blooming jasmine in through the open windows; the scent covered the three of them like a favorite old blanket. Oren raised his hand up as if to catch the breeze. He lowered his hand back down and fought the urge to pee, hoping to settle back into sleep.Here we are, he thought, lying in the dark.This is where we belong.In this place they unexpectedly found themselves, there was laughter and love and a rather plodding domesticity. Claude had been right; their love for each other hadn’t been destroyed. It had merely gone into hiding like the sun at dusk waiting for a new day when it would reclaim its place in the firmament and shine once again.
It occurred to him that this was it, thatthis was everything, and realizing he would not change anything about their lives, that he couldn’t wish for more, Oren drifted into sleep. Just before he fell fully asleep, he thought:I must call Claude.