Page 25 of Hazel’s Choice (A Monstrous World: Next Gen)

Chapter Twenty-Three

Zephyr

H azel is distant. It could be exhaustion taking its toll, but I don’t like it. She opens the store and keeps herself busy while I try to find something to spark a conversation between us.

“Would you like me to run out and grab you something for breakfast?” I ask, watching as she flits around the shop.

“Oh no, that’s okay. I ate before I came to your room.” She lies quite unconvincingly, and it only succeeds in setting me further on edge.

Hazel disappears into the storeroom and reappears with a huge box in her arms several minutes later.

I stride across the room, extending my arms. “Here, let me help with that.”

She laughs. “It’s not heavy, but thank you for offering.”

Why the hell is she suddenly acting like I have a contagious disease?

It’s almost as if she can’t stand to have me within three feet of her.

Is she trying to keep the fact she bonded Annex a secret? I could scent it the moment I stepped out of my room.

It serves me right.

I spent a lot of time last night in self-reflection as I sat around Chaos, drinking my sorrows. Sure, it started out as an attempt to lure out the creature, but even that was half-hearted.

At this point, my only goal in dealing with that particular monster is to have a guarantee that it won’t ever be able to harm Hazel.

If the creature is some kind of reaper that I’ve never been exposed to, I can’t exactly blame it for honoring its calling. I have even more complicated feelings about not realizing exactly how low Levi had fallen.

It all leads to a very surly version of myself leaning against the wall in Spellbound as Hazel works. I’m still unsure how the shop stays in business. The little witch spends most of her time cleaning and organizing while serving a whopping four customers before one p.m.

The longer Hazel goes without talking to me, the more unhinged I find myself becoming.

Was it the gift?

Did I push too hard by trying to ensure she would be well taken care of once I’m forced back to work?

It’s only a matter of time.

If I don’t return to Heaven, they’ll dispatch someone to bring me in, and it won’t be a pretty process.

My supervisor begrudgingly granted a temporary leave to pursue Levi’s killer.

Although he wouldn’t have approved my request if he had known what I intended to do with my free time.

That time is dwindling with every passing day, and the more I think about it, the higher my anxiety rises.

If it wasn’t the gift, it must be her newfound bond with Annex. She deserves to be happy with whoever she chooses, but for the life of me, I can’t understand why she would pick him over me.

Oh, like you’re the superior option?

Be real.

You’re not an option at all.

At least he’ll stick around.

He’s also not an emotionally constipated stick-in-the-mud.

I frown. That off-handed comment Annex made when I chose to shower rather than join in on their early morning tryst might have hurt my feelings more than I’d like to admit, especially if I’m still thinking about it days later.

There have been several exchanges when it seemed like Annex was giving me a chance to be friendly rather than adversarial, and I failed at each and every one.

It’s complicated by my vow to Heaven. The more time I spend with Hazel and Annex, the easier it becomes to imagine myself with them, living a more domestic kind of life.

It would come at the steepest of costs.

Not only would I never be able to visit my family again, but I would also lose access to Oathkeeper. I’d be a harvester with no way to feed my magic, and I worry that would drive me just as insane as Levi.

No.

No matter how far gone I was, I would never sink low enough to sexually assault someone.

I might turn into a homicidal maniac, though. There are stories of the terrible things that happen to angels who willingly fall.

Even if I chose to stay with Hazel, I have no guarantee that I wouldn’t become her greatest burden.

That’s what holds me back more than any of the other severe consequences I’ve spent hours worrying over.

There’s no good option, and that leaves me convinced that choosing the one that will negatively impact Hazel in the least is the only true choice.

Hazel perks up when she opens the lid of the spaghetti with marinara that I purchased for lunch.

I went with the same option for myself today.

Although I find I have little appetite for it.

She sits in the same chair she always does, while I’m on the side next to her, but it feels like she’s miles away.

Perhaps she’s just as confused about where we stand as I am?

If I explained my predicament, would she allow me to visit her when I’m on assignment in the human realm?

It would be a dangerous game for both of us if I were being monitored.

It doesn’t happen often, but if the higher-ups feel an angel is taking liberties with their time in the human realm, it has been known to happen.

“This was very sweet. Thank you, Zeph.” The little witch reaches over, patting my hand that rests on the table. An electric zap passes between our skin, and we both jolt. She runs her thumb over the top of my hand and frowns. “Are you okay? You seem a little off.”

I scoff. “You’ve barely said a word to me all day.”

“That kinda goes both ways.” Her lips twist downward as her forehead wrinkles. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. The car is awesome. I’m just not sure I’ll ever feel confident driving around a two-ton vehicle. It’s been a bit of an irrational fear for years.”

“I see. I’m sorry I pushed you into something you aren’t ready for.”

“Okay, I don’t know why things got super awkward between us all of a sudden, but I don’t like it.” She pushes her chair back and comes around the table to stand in front of me. “Is this seat taken?”

“Would you like my chair?” I blurt out, my head tilting as I appraise her.

“Gods, we are hopeless.” She laughs, climbing onto my lap. I move to cradle her hips. “I’m sure you’ve sensed that Annex and I bonded. I don’t know where that leaves us, but I was really sad that you didn’t climb into bed with us last night.”

“I tossed and turned all night without your sweet scent to lull me to sleep.” My heart thunders, and I bring a hand to brush her hair back from her cheek. “But I also didn’t want to invite myself in if I was unwanted.”

“Are angels monogamous?”

“It’s more complicated than a simple yes or no, but generally, yes. Most pairings are related to breeding chances.” I sigh. “Occasionally relationships develop, and they aren’t strictly prohibited, but it is unusual unless the pair are mates.”

“Wow, that’s a lot different than I imagined.” Hazel traces my collarbone over my shirt. “Even the way you describe it sounds…” Her shoulders bounce. “Clinical, I guess. That’s the best word that comes to mind.”

“You’re not wrong.” I cradle her cheek, working my fingers into her hair at the base of her skull.

“My parents aren’t close. Friendly, at best, but they were an optimal breeding match.

If I had been born female, I would have remained with my mother.

All male angels are surrendered to their father at three days old. ”

“What?” Her pretty blue eyes bug.

“I still had regular contact with my mother, which isn’t the case for everyone, but my father was my primary caregiver and teacher.” I shrug. “It’s very different to what you find among humans or even the norm with monsters in sanctuary cities.”

“No kidding. My mom has four mates, but they’re all my dads. I mean, they all raised us together.”

“And is that something you see for yourself?”

“I never put much thought into it,” she whispers, glancing away. “But I don’t want you to think I chose Annex over you. He’s more accustomed to demon culture. Plus, I just think incubi are naturally more inclined to share.”

My mouth opens to say I don’t even know what. Maybe to spill the truth of how much I like her and all my concerns about what will happen if I don’t return to Heaven, but the bell on the door jingles, and Hazel pops off my lap.

That was very shitty timing.

Hazel helps the pair of customers, and once they leave, she stands at the counter, writing out a note to the shop owner.

Apparently, Lisette will have to handle whatever spell the pixies were after.

Once she’s done scribbling on the notepad, she pulls off her sweater, tosses it over the edge of the counter, and brings her hand to her forehead.

She rubs like she’s attempting to work away an ache.

I can’t help myself. Sliding up behind her, I wrap a hand around her middle and pull her back to my chest. “You need a nap and a few days off.”

“Are you hot?” she asks, spinning in my hold. “Shit, maybe I should step outside? I feel like I’m burning alive.”

My eyes widen.

Her eyes are bloodshot, and her cheeks are bright red.

“I believe you may be overheating,” I murmur, bringing my hand to test her forehead. Her skin instantly scalds mine, and I fight the urge to tug my palm away. “You’re burning up.”

“I know,” she huffs, stretching down and grabbing the bottom of her dress. “I have to find a way to cool off. Holy shit, Zeph. Why do you smell like that? You always smell good, but…”

“Thank you.” Leaning down, I swipe her hands away to prevent her from undressing in the middle of Spellbound. “Can you use magic to lock up?”

“I guess, but I’m supposed to be here for another two hours.” Hazel groans, rubbing her face around my shirt. She raises a hand, swiping it through the air.

The bolt lock on the front door flips, and she even turns the sign to closed .

“Did that work on the back door as well?” I ask, glancing around to see if she might be forgetting anything important. “How about the lights?”

“What is wrong with me?” she groans.

“Sorry, sweet girl. You’re going into heat, but don’t worry. I’m going to take care of you.”

“Fuck. I have to call Lisette and warn her.”