Page 18 of Hazel’s Choice (A Monstrous World: Next Gen)

Chapter Seventeen

Hazel

Z ephyr is off the rest of the afternoon.

He was downright chatty compared to what I would normally expect from an angel.

At least before that fucking vision, but afterward, he’s quiet and pensive.

I’m ill-equipped when it comes to helping someone feel better or setting a person at ease.

I wish I were more competent in that department, but something tells me Zeph needs some time to himself, so I don’t bother him.

He holds me to his chest during the flight back to the house, but again, it doesn’t feel like he’s really present.

It’s a relief when he informs Annex and me that he needs to run an errand.

He tucks my hair behind my ear and brushes his lips over my forehead. “I’ll be back in plenty of time to accompany you to work tomorrow. Don’t go anywhere by yourself.”

I smile, but my stomach churns.

I’m more than capable of protecting myself, but his concern makes me wish things were different between us.

I’ve almost blurted out the truth ten times since he pulled me into that memory of his friend’s death.

The only solace I can find in the entire screwed-up situation is that something seemed to click for him.

Still, I don’t see a world where he forgives me for not only lying about who and what I am, but also for murdering someone he cared about.

“Aww, baby doll.” Annex stretches out over me on the couch. “You’re poutier than I’ve seen you yet. Was today a disaster?”

“You have no idea,” I whisper as my eyes fall shut.

“Well, I would say I don’t want to pry, but that’s exactly what I’m planning to do, so why don’t you fill me in?” He chuckles, brushing his lips over mine. “I’ve been waiting with bated breath. You can text me at any time. You know that, right?”

I sigh.

Talking about it feels a lot like betraying Zeph’s confidence, but at the same time, it affects me too. It’s not considered gossiping if I’m involved in the situation. Is it?

I’m really regretting not putting more effort into being social. Maybe then I would understand how I’m supposed to handle this situation.

Actually, I’m betting this has never happened to anyone before. At least not in a few thousand years since my kind went extinct.

Being the only one of my species doesn’t help me feel any less lonely, and I find myself blurting out all the details of what transpired at the shop today.

“...he just seemed so upset, and I didn’t like it.

Being empathetic is a curse, but it helps me feel confident that he didn’t know his friend was such a shitty person.

” My eyes fall shut as that weird ache pulses in my chest all over again.

“And I never feel bad for killing anyone who deserved it, but now I’m realizing there have been others who grieved my victims.”

“Oh, you are all up in your feelings tonight.” Annex nips at my lower lip, and my eyes pop open.

“There are those pretty blue eyes I’m so fond of.

Listen, I know you’re beating yourself up.

I’m sure it’s complicated seeing the other side of things, but the universe created you for a very specific reason.

Zephyr has a similar job. He has to understand the call you feel to complete that purpose. ”

I snort. “No matter how I spin it, I don’t think he’s going to thank me for killing his friend.”

“Possibly not,” he says, studying my face. “We all know angels can be hypocrites, so maybe he’ll choose to be willfully ignorant. I can only guess at that outcome. At some point, you’re either going to need to be truthful or cut all ties with the angel.”

“Yeah.” I hate that I followed a similar thought process hours ago.

“You’ve got the whole he’s wildly attracted to you thing going for you.” Annex chuckles. “I’m not exaggerating when I say there’s some hardcore lusting going on where you’re concerned.”

My head tilts as I try to determine if he’s feeling jealous that Zephyr pushed his way into my life. He not only rented a room here, but he also stalked me to work, which makes it sound less sweet than it was.

“Gotcha,” Annex says, causing me to frown. “You’ve got some complicated feelings going on when it comes to the angel.”

“I don’t,” I lie, grimacing. “Okay, I do, but you made it sound weird.”

“Baby doll,” he coos, cracking a lazy smile.

“I can feel your sexual desire for him. You’re fond of him.

It’s not a big deal. Although, it could get awkward if the two of you fuck and then try to kill each other.

” His chest shakes against mine as he lowers his weight onto me.

“Hate sex is always intense, though, so there’s that. ”

I don’t think I hate Zephyr, at least not anymore. Annex is right. My feelings about that angel are complicated, but I would never assume that just because I grew up in a polyamorous family pack that I have free rein to hook up with whoever I choose.

Pulling my hands from between us, I loop my arms around his neck and run my fingers through his hair. “You asked me to be your girlfriend. That means there won’t be any hate sex?—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Don’t be hasty on my account.” Annex smirks, grinding against my core with his zipper. “I’m not possessive, and if you’re taking a break from feeding the normal way, we’re going to have to get creative.”

“What does that mean?” I ask.

Shit.

If I’m draining him dry every time I siphon the extra lust off him, that means we’re going to need to have a lot more sex.

He pecks a kiss on my lips and says, “The power boost that I get from feeding from you is considerably larger than what I get from the crowd at Rut. Hell, it’s more significant than the power I’ve gotten from any partner.”

My forehead wrinkles.

No part of me likes thinking of him with anyone else.

That is a compliment, though.

I think.

At least I’m able to give him a nice little boost to his magic like he does for me.

“So, I’m just saying, you can fuck the angel right out of your system, and it can help fuel us both?—”

“I don’t know how I feel about you with anyone else,” I say, fighting my monster.

She’s a jealous hag, apparently.

Okay, maybe a little of that is me, but I’m totally blaming it on her. It doesn’t matter that my monster is a literal piece of myself.

“Gods, you’re cute when you get territorial,” Annex says, bumping his cheek against mine. “Message received, loud and clear. We’ll both ignore that I’ve already told you multiple times that I don’t want anyone but you.”

Zephyr appears in the living room in a white cloud of shimmery smoke. It’s much different from the color scheme when I siphon, but I’m more concerned with the look on his face and the heaviness that surrounds him.

“Right, now that you’re back, I’m going to pop into the club,” Annex says. Somehow while we were cuddling, he ended up wedged between me and the back of the couch. He plants a kiss on my cheek and siphons away before I can ask to go with him.

Way to abandon me with the guy who wants to kill me. Or he would if he understood what I did.

Dammit.

Zephyr crosses the room in three large strides, and his wings twitch as he pulls them close to his back.

I’m not sure if I’m picking up on his emotions or if the look on his face gives it away, but I struggle to push myself up until I’m sitting and ask, “Are you okay?”

His head shakes, making his long, whitish-blond hair fall around his face. “I-I…”

I turn and stand, moving closer while almost afraid to touch him with the misery that rolls off him in waves.

He slides a hand around the back of my head and tugs me flush with his chest.

I blink repeatedly as he wraps his other arm around my lower back and completely blocks me in with his wings.

It’s like a cocoon of safety.

I’m kind of jealous I don’t have wings, but feeling Zephyr’s sadness is enough to refocus my attention.

There’s no instruction manual for how to handle an emotionally distraught angel, but I grew up with a very moody half vampire, half alpha wolf sister, so I figure I can probably treat them the same.

They’re both likely to lash out. You just have to be more alpha than they are and command the situation while tricking them into calming down.

All that goes out the window as Zephyr exhales heavily, making his chest rattle under my cheek.

Okay, he’s really upset.

Not just the tantrum kind I’m used to with my sister.

My arms wrap around his lower back just below his wings. “I’m sorry you’re upset.”

“I need to hold you right now.” The waver in his tone makes my skin prickle with unease.

I bite my cheek to keep from blurting out the truth of how his friend died. Not that knowing would help him feel any better, but it might help the gnawing guilt that threatens to consume me from the inside out.

I truly don’t understand how humans lie and keep secrets.

I’m not built for subterfuge. Normally, what you see is what you get with me, and I like it that way.

I don’t ever feel the need to apologize for doing what the universe created me for, but now I’m weighing the pros and cons of permanently starving myself.

I didn’t throw up the food he forced me to eat earlier. Maybe I could survive on a diet like a witch?

Zephyr cradles my skull, nuzzling his cheek to the top of my head. “I had a meeting with some friends…” He sighs. “I really don’t want to talk about that. Let me hold you?”

I nod, but I don’t think he even notices. He’s already in the process of moving us to the couch. He somehow manages to take a seat and pull me into his lap in one smooth movement.

I’m a little disappointed when his wings recede, disappearing behind his back. At least his arms stay tucked around me.

“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” I tell him, running my fingers over his collarbone.

Zephyr sighs like an old man. “It’s not your fault. I’m afraid I may have misjudged who Levi was, and that leaves me wondering what else I’ve failed at recently.”