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Chapter six

Mika

“This was one of his favorites.” Mary Ellen held up a blue and gray plaid hat. “He always looked so debonair when he wore it.”

“He did,” I agreed, because he really had. Even toward the end, he insisted on wearing it anytime he left the house.

She gave me a sad smile and added it to the basket of clothes to donate to charity as she reached for another item from the pile on the bed they’d shared—a pile that had been there for months.

“You know there’s no rush to do this. If you’re not ready, it can wait.”

“I know, but he would hate that I’m moping around the house surrounded by his things. He even made me promise to try to find someone else to spend my life with. Can you imagine me at my age dating?” She let out a little sigh and shook her head. “That was the only time I lied to him, you know? When I promised him I’d try to find love again.”

“He just wanted you to be happy,” I said simply.

She took a deep breath and blew it out slowly as a single tear trailed down her cheek. She swiped at the tear and reached for another item of clothing.

“Silly man. I’m perfectly happy on my own.”

“Why don’t you let me box all his clothes up? You can go through all his other things to see what you want to keep, but the clothes are all to be donated.”

“I appreciate the offer, but I think I need to do this. With your help, of course.”

“Of course. Anything you need, I’m here.”

We spent the next hour going through the clothes on the bed. She had a story or comment for each item. We were making decent progress until we reached a sweater vest near the bottom of the pile.

“Look at this thing. It’s the only item of clothing I ever tried to crochet, and it’s hideous… not that he would ever admit that. He even wore it on occasion. Never outside the house, though, thank goodness.” She smiled and hugged the vest to her chest. “I think that’s enough for today.”

“Do you want me to drop off these things for you on my way home?” I was afraid if we waited for her to arrange a pickup, it might be months before we made any progress.

“If you could, that would be wonderful.”

“Do you know where you want me to take them?” She hadn’t said, so I wasn’t sure if she already had a place in mind.

She shook her head. “I don’t really have a preference, just someplace where someone can use them.”

“If it’s okay with you, I thought maybe we could start with the Vesper Pride Association’s Trans Closet.”

“I don’t know how much they would want, so maybe they could pick through it, and then you could take the rest to Saint Vincent’s.”

“I can do that. David may have been older, but his clothes were nice and very stylish. I bet the VPA will want most of his suits, his polos, and maybe even his dress shirts.”

“And the hats,” she added. “They would make some young man look very suave.”

“I think so, too.”

“Thank you. I know that means two stops, but I love the idea of someone having his things who will really appreciate them.” She walked over to the dresser and ran her fingers over the antique valet box that he’d kept his watch and rings in before picking up a familiar silver necklace and studying it for a minute. “Speaking of which, Mika, I want you to have this.” She held up the Saint Michael medallion her husband had worn every day. “David’s father gave it to him, and I think he would want someone to wear the pendant who would appreciate it.”

“Mary Ellen, you don’t have to give me anything,” I insisted.

“I know that, dear, but it isn’t doing anyone any good sitting here, and he doesn’t have anyone to leave it to. He adored you, and you were so good to him. I’m sure he would want you to have it.”

I reached out and took the necklace, looking at it. It had an angel with massive wings holding a sword in one hand and placing his foot on the neck of what appeared to be a dragon. Across the top, it said, Saint Michael, protect us.

“There’s a prayer that goes with it, but I don’t know what happened to it. I’m sure you can find it on your phone.”

“I’ll do that.” I probably wouldn’t, but she didn’t need to know that. I slipped the necklace over my head and let the weight of the pendant settle against my breastbone. I knew it was just a necklace and didn’t hold any special powers, but knowing it had been David’s father’s and then his—and was now mine—was comforting in some strange way.

I left early because Mary Ellen insisted that I didn’t get to run her errands on my time. My first stop was at the VPA to see if they would be interested in any of the clothes, and to my surprise, that ended up being my only stop because they kept them all. The person who came out to look was so excited they could hardly contain themselves.

Turned out they had a gentleman who came in regularly, always looking for what he called a pipe-smoking college professor aesthetic , but had only ever found a few things he liked. They said they were going to call him right away so he could come look.

I gave them my number in case they wanted me to come back and pick anything up. They took it but made sure I knew they didn’t think they’d be calling.

Since I didn’t need to go by the other place, I decided to go home and chill until it was time for my self-defense class.

Self-defense class, where I would be seeing Hawk.

I didn’t know what I’d been thinking at the club, going over and talking to him like that. I blamed it on one too many Golden Cadillacs. They weren’t strong drinks, but if I had enough of them, they could still cause me to make questionable choices. That had to be the explanation because I had no business with a man like Hawk. I thought I’d learned my lesson at this point.

I pulled down the mirror on the visor of my car and gave myself a firm look. “No more men who are big enough and strong enough to break you in half, Mika. No more.”

My gut told me Hawk wasn’t like that, but I’d learned the hard way that I couldn’t trust my gut. Just to make the point, I stared at myself in the mirror again and shook my head in disappointment.

“None of them are like that until they are. Remember that.”

He was a good teacher, though, and I was glad I’d signed up for this class. I couldn’t take down a guy his size, but I’d learned enough that I thought I had a decent shot at getting away if I needed to—and as he liked to remind us, that was the goal.

I made it home with plenty of time to shower and work on my latest crochet project while watching the newest episode of Reacher —because, as we’ve established, big, strong, and potentially violent was totally my type.

When it was time to leave, I grabbed my sweatshirt and my gym bag and headed for the car. I opened the door and tossed my stuff in the back seat. Then I hopped in behind the wheel. I was about to start the car when I spotted something flapping in the wind underneath my windshield wiper.

I glanced around, but no one was nearby.

My first thought was that maybe it was some kind of sale flyer someone put on my car when I stopped at VPA, but that couldn’t be. There was no way I drove all the way home with that thing flapping in the wind without noticing.

I’d heard about people putting things under your windshield wiper so you’d have to stop to look at it—and then they’d grab you. But there was no place near my driveway where anyone could hide.

I was being silly. It was probably pizza coupons or something.

I made myself push open the car door, got out just enough to reach between the door and the hood, and grabbed the note. Then I hopped back inside and locked the door.

It had been months since I’d freaked out about nothing, and now here I was—for the second time in as many weeks—letting my imagination get the best of me. I really had thought I’d gotten past this, but I knew Andy was right, and I had to give myself both time and grace.

I opened the note and stared at it. My eyes widened, and my pulse sped up.

It didn’t say much, but what it said was more than enough.

I see you.

It didn’t have my name on it, so it could’ve been for anyone. It was probably just a harmless prank. Right?

I mean— I see you ? What did that even mean?

My mind immediately went back to the Farmers Market when I thought I’d seen Butch. This was just like something he would do. He always loved to play games with people’s heads. But there was no way Butch was in Vesper, Texas. That made no sense at all. If he’d been able to track me down, he would’ve shown up long ago.

It was a stupid teenage prank or meant for someone else.

I reached up and grabbed the necklace hanging from my neck, thinking about the words written on the pendant. Saint Michael, protect us.

Maybe I should look up that prayer after all.

I glanced at my door and considered going back inside, but I wasn’t skipping the class that was supposed to teach me to protect myself just because I’d let someone spook me. I was tired of running and hiding. That was the whole point of taking the class—to stop being afraid all the time.

I took a few deep breaths and backed out of my driveway.

Hawk

I’d been out at the camp all day working with a group that was there for team building instead of training. Those were my least favorite groups, but Crowe had needed a hand today and no one else had been available.

We’d run over time, and I’d had to rush back to make it in time for class. I pulled into the parking garage, but I didn’t bother going around to park in my usual spot—this side was closest to the entrance to the training room.

I hadn’t made it out of my truck when a four-door sedan that had seen better days pulled in and parked. I watched as Mika stepped out. He looked around nervously before heading toward the entrance.

He’d come up to me at the club, so I figured I was making some progress. I decided to hurry and see if I could catch him. It would be a short walk to class, but we could at least have a conversation.

I hopped out of the truck and quickened my pace, calling his name. He squealed and wheeled around, eyes wide and hands clasped around something hanging from his neck.

I stopped and put my hands up. “It’s just me,” I said in the calmest, most reassuring voice I could conjure.

“Hawk,” he breathed. “You scared me.”

“Yeah, parking garages can be pretty creepy.”

He let out a wry chuckle. “Yeah. You never can tell who might be lurking around.”

“True. But this parking garage is monitored at all times by our security.”

He glanced around, probably looking for the cameras, but he wouldn’t find them. Kat was way better than that.

“Well, that’s good, then.”

“Let’s get into class. Everyone’s probably wondering where we are.” I walked to the entrance and opened the door for him.

“Thanks.”

He played it off like it was just the parking garage, but I wasn’t buying it. Something other than me had spooked my little mouse, and I wanted to know what.

I kept an eye on him as we started class, and even without the interaction in the garage, I would’ve been able to tell something was up.

Normally, he was easygoing and friendly with the other students, but tonight, he seemed hesitant and withdrawn. He even moved differently—like he was braced for something to happen at any moment. His shoulders were tight, his eyes scanning the room in quick, darting movements, and when his usual partner, Marcy, came up behind him and tapped his shoulder in greeting, he flinched before forcing a tight smile.

I watched him for a few minutes as I went through my usual warm-up routine with the class. He fumbled a few of the basic drills—nothing egregious, but enough to tell me his focus was shot. And when I paired the students up to work on breakaway techniques, I noticed his hands shook when he squared up with his partner.

That was enough for me.

I stepped in, nodding to Marcy. “I need to borrow Mika for a second.” I gestured for him to follow me toward the edge of the mats. “You all right?” I asked, keeping my voice low.

He swallowed hard, his gaze flicking toward the exit before settling back on me.

“Yeah. Just a long day,” he said quickly, forcing a small smile. “I’m good.”

I studied him, waiting. He wasn’t telling me everything—that much was clear. But if he wasn’t ready to talk, I wasn’t going to push.

Still, I didn’t like the way he kept glancing toward the door.

“All right,” I said after a moment. “Go ahead and join Marcy.”

As the class continued, he seemed to loosen up, but I still wanted to know what had him so out of sorts earlier. I didn’t like the idea that someone was giving him trouble, but I couldn’t think of anything else that would cause him to be so jumpy and nervous.

Luckily, we weren’t introducing any new techniques this week. We were reviewing everything we’d learned so far and making sure they had those moves down solid. That meant I could focus more on observing than instructing.

When class ended, I called him over.

“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, but if you need to talk, you can always call me.” I pulled out one of my business cards and flipped it over, writing my personal cell number on the back. “That’s my direct number. You can use it anytime, day or night.”

He flipped the card over and studied it like it was written in a foreign language.

“I mean it, Mika. If you need to talk, or if you’re in trouble, you call me.”

“I bet you say that to all your students?” he asked in what I was sure was meant to be a teasing tone, but I wasn’t in a joking mood.

“No, I don’t. Seriously, Mika.” I reached out and tapped the card he still held in his hands. “Whatever’s going on, you’re not alone.”