Page 2

Carrie

I was really surprised I managed to hold out this long before I completely lost my shit. It was the whole gristle in my teeth thing, knowing it was a person’s flesh that tipped me over, I think. All the men were looking at me like I was a complete lunatic, and I didn’t blame them. For some reason, though, out of all the men there, despite knowing I needed to fear every single one of them, the big man who'd first met me at the gate held my gaze, and I did the only thing I could think of.

“I-I’m so s-sorry. Please help me.” It was pathetic and miserable. “I did it.” I sobbed out. “I killed them.”

“I think I know where she’s talkin’ about, Bohannon.”

“Take a crew,” one of them ordered. “See what you find, then let me know what’s going on.”

“I found the incident, Torpedo. It happened just like she said.” Another guy, his gaze drifting to me once before shoving a tablet in front of Torpedo’s face.

The other man -- Torpedo, who seemed to be in charge -- viewed it and nodded his head crisply. “Back it up. Follow everyone’s movements.” Torpedo gave me a hard look.

“She needs looked over to make sure she’s not injured.” The big man stepped forward and knelt in front of me. “I’m Hawk, little lady.”

“Carrie,” she said.

“Yeah, honey. I got that.” He smiled.

“Are you going to turn me in to the cops? That’s what happens when you kill someone. Right?”

Hawk glanced up at the one called Torpedo, then at one of two other men who seemed to be part of the group but also standing apart. Torpedo turned to those two men and raised an eyebrow.

“What do you think, Knuckles? This is your outfit.”

“Take her in. Let her get cleaned up and get Pain to check her over. Knight, I want you to examine every second of footage you can find. If she’s on the up and up, we’ll take care of this… uh, how did she put it, Gunnar?”

Gunnar held up his thumb and forefinger an inch apart. “Little bit of a bind, I think. I wasn’t close enough to hear much.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” I sounded whiny even to myself. “OK, so I did do it on purpose, but only because they were gonna hurt me. And I didn’t kill them as a first resort. Only when the one guy brought out a knife, and I knew things were serious.”

Hawk’s brow furrowed as he studied me. I couldn’t tell if he was horrified or impressed, and honestly, at this point, I didn’t care. My hands were shaking so badly I had to sit on them.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, his voice surprisingly gentle for a man who looked like he could bench press a motorcycle. He reached out, hesitated. I swayed slightly, the adrenaline crash hitting me hard. “Your story checks out, everything will be fine.”

“And if it doesn’t?” It was embarrassing, but my voice shook. My dad would be so ashamed of me right now. He’d raised his only daughter to be as strong as her brothers. Not even one of my brothers would be on his ass in the gravel while men stood over them. They’d be on their feet ready to fight for their lives. Me? I just wanted to go home and hide for the rest of mine.

He raised an eyebrow. “Is it going to?”

I shrugged. “It’s a matter of perspective, I guess.”

“Relax, uh, Carrie.” He stumbled over my name, and I didn’t understand why. “We’re gonna look at all the footage we can find, but Knight seems pretty satisfied with the fight.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” I mumbled, then promptly vomited on the ground next to Hawk’s boots. Thankfully, I missed his actual footwear.

“Christ,” someone muttered behind me.

“Oh, like you’ve never blown chunks after a fight, Noose.” Gunnar shoved Noose backward. Not hard, but enough that the younger man got the message.

“I’m a sympathy puker, all right?” the younger man grumbled. “Meant no disrespect.” Several of the remaining guys laughed and clapped Noose on the back as they passed.

Hawk didn’t even flinch at the mess near his boots. “It’s the shock, honey. Happens to everyone the first time.” He looked over his shoulder. “Gunnar, can you get a prospect to get her some water?”

I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, which was pointless since my hand was as disgusting as my face. “I didn’t want to kill anyone,” I whispered, only for Hawk’s ears. “But they wouldn’t stop.”

“I know, darlin’.” I was surprised at the confidence in his tone, but as I looked up at him, he seemed sincere. Not like he was humoring me to get me to do what he wanted. “We’ll get to the bottom of this, but I believe Knight’s assessment. He’s never wrong. Besides, self-defense is a thing, you know? Ain’t no one here gonna judge you for defendin’ yourself.”

“But I stabbed him in the chest. Multiple times.” I emphasized the last part by jabbing my finger in the air. “And I’m pretty sure I broke the other guy’s windpipe after I broke his leg.”

I looked up to find all the men staring at me with varying expressions of shock, amusement, and something else I couldn’t quite identify. Hawk seemed to be fighting back a smile.

“Jesus,” Torpedo muttered. “How’d a little thing like you manage that?”

“I had six older brothers and a dad who wished I was a boy. It was learn to fight or be crushed by the weight of all the testosterone.” I wiped at my face, probably making more of a mess. The thought made me want to gag again. “I panicked. I just…” I sucked in a breath as my voice hitched. “I just wanted to get away.”

Hawk stood up and extended his hand to me. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll see if we can round up a toothbrush for you. Might have to send one of the guys to get you a few things, but I’ll get you comfortable.”

I hesitated for a moment before taking his hand. His palm was warm and calloused, his grip gentle but firm as he helped me to my feet. The world tilted briefly, and I swayed.

“Whoa, there.” Hawk’s arm came around my waist to steady me. “Easy, killer.”

I nearly laughed at the nickname, but it came out more of a sob as the reality of what I’d done crashed over me again. I had killed someone. Two someones. I trembled so violently I could barely stand.

“I’ve got you,” Hawk murmured against my ear. “Just breathe.” He guided me forward, his large frame sheltering me from the curious stares of the other men. When I stumbled again, he simply lifted me into his arms and strode past the others toward another big warehouse in a field of them. I was vaguely aware of the other men parting to let us through, their voices a low murmur around us. Some of them looked impressed, others wary. I couldn’t blame them.

“Where are we going?” I asked, my voice small.

“Clubhouse first. Get you some privacy so you can clean up, then we’ll figure out what happens next.” His voice was matter of fact, and somehow that steadied me more than if he’d tried to be comforting.

The clubhouse, as he called it, was massive and surprisingly clean. The interior had an industrial vibe going on. Basically, there were steel posts and lots of concrete. Furniture consisted of several tables, couches, and chairs, none of which were in the best of shape, but didn’t look dirty. While the place smelled of beer and pot, it wasn’t disgusting or anything.

The place had twenty or thirty men, as well as at least the same number of women. Probably more. I heard the whispers as Hawk walked in carrying me. It was mostly the men, but the women picked up the lead of the guys, whispering among themselves. I caught snippets like, “Carrie, like the movie?” and “Batshit crazy” and “Tiny little thing to cause that much havoc,” and cringed. Great first impression, Carrie . Show up covered in blood and vomit on their property. And now I really needed to Google the movie Carrie, because there was obviously something I was missing.

Every fiber of my being screamed to hide my face, but there was nowhere to go except to bury myself against Hawk’s chest. I’d never been more mortified in my life. And the real shit of it was, now that I was coming down and I wasn’t so hyper-focused on simply surviving, I was very aware of the man who carried me. And, sweet God, he smelled good! The inappropriate thought made me even more ashamed. Maybe I was weak, like my father always said. If I was this distracted by a man when I should be planning my escape, then it made me weak and stupid.

“Jesus, Hawk. What’d you drag in?” A woman with platinum-blonde hair stepped in front of us, blocking our path. Her eyes were heavily lined with black, making the blue pop even more dramatically.

Hawk stopped, his grip on me tightening slightly. “Outta the way, Silk.”

“But who is she?” The woman, Silk, pointed a long, red nail at me. “And why is she covered in blood?”

“None of your business,” Hawk replied, his voice clipped. “Now move.”

Silk’s eyes narrowed, but she stepped aside, her gaze following us as Hawk carried me through the crowd. I could feel dozens of curious eyes on me, and I wished I could disappear.

“Sorry about that,” Hawk murmured as we headed down a hallway. “Club whores can be territorial.”

“Club whores?” I asked weakly, my shaking getting worse. “Why am I so cold?”

“Shock. Part of it. A hot shower would do you good. Maybe make you feel human again, yeah?”

I looked up at him and knew my eyes were wide and wild-looking because it was how I felt. My dad always said I could never hide my feelings worth a damn. He said it made me vulnerable, and I needed to learn to guard myself. Instead of disappointment when I met Hawk’s gaze, though, I saw only kindness and understanding.

He carried me up two flights of stairs, then down a long hallway. It looked like there were several apartments. Hawk took me to the end of the hall and set me on my feet long enough to open the door with a key. I thought he might invite me inside, but instead he picked me back up and carried me inside himself, going straight to the bathroom.

“Here ya go.” He set me on the vanity of a surprisingly spacious and clean bathroom. The place didn’t actually look lived in. The main area was a little messy, but the bathroom was near spotless. “There’s a bench in the shower. Sit there and wash until you feel better. I’ll be just outside if you need help. Don’t fall.” He delivered his instructions in a crisp, no-nonsense voice.

“Are you always this bossy?” The second I said the words, I regretted them. I opened my mouth to apologize, but Hawk only chuckled.

“Yeah, Killer. I’m always this bossy.”

“You might want to get that looked at,” I muttered, which got another laugh out of him.

“Tell you what. When Pain comes to look you over, if you don’t give him too much shit and let him make sure you’re OK physically, I’ll see if he’ll look at my bossiness while he’s here.”

“I really am sorry I got you guys involved. I didn’t intend to. I was just trying to get out of the area and got lost in the fog.”

“Don’t worry about any of that. Get clean. Take a few minutes to sit in the hot water and just be. I’ll leave you some clothes outside the door, then I’m going to see what Knight finds. I’ll come check on you in an hour.” He moved to a wooden cabinet in the corner of the bathroom. “Towels and washcloths. Use all you need. Knuckles says his woman is gettin’ you a few things together. I’ll have her set them just inside the door. Throw your dirties in the corner and I’ll take care of it later.”

My gaze snapped to his. “Will everyone be able to get in here?”

“No, honey. I have a key. I’ll give that key to Hannah, who will give it back to me once she gets your shit together. You’re not gonna be locked in or anything, but I wouldn’t advise leaving without an escort. You saw how pushy the club whores can be. Hannah or Gunnar’s woman, Pippa, will be happy to take you wherever you want to go.”

I tried not to wince at the term “club whores” but wasn’t sure I pulled it off. “They’re here because they want to be. Right?” Of all the questions I needed to ask, that wasn’t any of my business.

“Yeah. Every woman here knows the score before she comes in.”

My stomach clenched and I took a step backward. “I didn’t agree to anything like that.” My heart pounded in my chest. Had I made a huge mistake? Had I escaped one bad situation only to fall into a worse one? I was under no illusion I’d fare as well with this man, or any of the other men I’d seen on their property. Every single one of them looked sturdy, strong, and more than a little mean.

“Relax, Carrie. You’re not here for the same reasons they are, and this is not a permanent situation for you. Now, if you decide you want to live here, that’s different.”

OK, that was funny. If it weren’t for the fact I actually needed a home, his words might have been amusing. But the fact was, I was desperate. It’s how those guys had found me in the first place. Because I wasn’t very good at finding safe places to sleep, and they’d tried to take my last five bucks. When they’d realized that was all I had, they’d decided to take other things from me.

“I see,” Hawk said, sounding like he really did see. “It’s like that is it?”

“Like what?” My whisper was soft. I wasn’t even sure I could speak louder.

“Do you have a place to stay, honey?”

“Sure.” I tried to smile.

“Don’t lie to me, Carrie. You’re shit at it.”

“Yeah. So I’ve been told.” I took a breath. “No. I don’t have a place to stay. I was sleeping in one of the warehouses and apparently didn’t hide well enough.”

“All right. Enough of this. I will take care of everything. I’ll help you get back on your feet.”

“I can’t pay you. And I’m not sure what being a club whore entails, but I’m betting it’s just what the name says. I don’t judge, but I can’t do that.”

“Never said you had to.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. Probably exasperated with me. “Do what I told you. Take a long shower. When you get done, if you want to, lie down and take a nap. I promise no one will bother you. And, Carrie…” He waited until I met his gaze and held it. “I don’t expect payment. Just let me help. That’s payment enough.”