Page 83
Story: Hard Hitter (Smitten #1)
His eyes met hers again. His brow furrowed. He swallowed hard. Then bit his lip. He let out a heavy sigh and his expression changed, “Rae…” Quinn lay back on top of her and pressed his forehead to hers, “Rae, baby, I have to tell you something…”
She couldn’t help smiling at him calling her baby .
Is it that this evening has been perfect?
Is he going to point out that he’s on top of me completely naked and we’ve been friends for eleven years and this should be weird but totally isn’t? The only weird thing about it is how it’s not weird at all?
Is he going to tell me he doesn’t want to go to Arizona without me? Because I have a big surprise if that’s the case...
There was a long pause as Quinn simply breathed, eyes closed, resting his head on hers. “Rae, I haven’t...I haven’t been completely...honest,” his voice shook as he spoke, but he continued, “about the...pact.”
“The pact?” Raelyn repeated, blinking. Did the pact still matter?
“Yeah, I…” he lifted his head and sat up a little. “I lied. I’m not a...I...I’ve had sex before. This, um...this isn’t my first time. ”
Raelyn blinked and she swore time around her stopped.
Or maybe it was more like it started back up again.
They’d been in their own world and suddenly with these words, this confession, the rest of the living world was intruding on their moment.
They’d crashed into some weird alternate reality where her best friend. ..had lied to have sex with her?
She processed what he said. The individual words and what they meant.
That for the past nine months, every time Raelyn had asked him if he’d been with anyone or if they were still on for the pact, he had an opportunity to come clean and chose not to.
She stared up at him, with one eyebrow cocked in confusion as though he were speaking a different language.
As she contemplated what to say, how to respond, Quinn continued speaking.
“I’m sorry, Rae, I just...I know this was more for you.
..you wanted it to be special and, I mean, I’ve wanted this for so long.
Us, I mean. God, I’ve dreamt about this so many times, Rae.
I couldn’t believe you wanted...with me .
..but...and we still can. I can still,” he lifted his hand with the condom in it.
“I just thought I should tell you first. I didn’t want. ..I thought you should know.”
Again, Raelyn processed this new information, peering up at him through narrowed eyes as though he were a complete stranger. We can still have sex if I want? If it will make me feel better, he’ll still fuck me so I can at least say I lost my virginity? What a fucking gentleman…
Opening her mouth to speak, she closed her eyes and let the first thought pop out from the tornado of dizzying questions and angry comments that were now buzzing around inside her head, “Why...did you lie in the first place? Because you just wanted to have sex with me?”
“What? No,” Quinn’s eyes widened with panic. “No, that’s not what I meant. I mean, I have wanted you for a long time, but-”
“So you just thought, ‘hey, if I pretend to be a virgin I can screw my best friend and we’ll both be happy?’”
“Technically, I never actually said that I was a virgin...you asked if sex gets casual after your first time and I said I didn’t know, because I only had sex once, so…” Quinn trailed off .
“So, because you lied by omission you thought it was okay?” Raelyn challenged.
Quinn ran both hands through his hair anxiously. “That’s exactly what Chris said…”
“Chris?” Raelyn snapped. “Chris knows about this?”
“Well, I kind of...yeah, I told them about our...the pact...on the bus ride home from the state championship game.” He looked like he was talking more to himself than Raelyn at this point, “They told me I needed to tell you the truth, and then every time we hung out just the two of us, you’d start kissing me before I could say anything.
And then I couldn’t say anything because. ..I just wanted to keep kissing you.”
Suddenly feeling completely bare and vulnerable, Raelyn attempted to cover her breasts by laying one arm across her chest. “So...let me get this straight, Quinn,” her eyes were piercing as she looked up at him where he still knelt between her legs.
Only moments ago her body was warm and wet and eager, and now was cold and rigid.
“You let me believe you’d never had sex so that we could have our first time together, only not really.
And you continued to lie all year. We see each other every day.
You could have told me any time and chose to keep it from me.
And now you tell me the only reason you’re coming clean at all is because Chris and Jett told you it was shitty to lie to your best friend of eleven years? Just to get in her panties?”
“Rae, no, that’s…”
“Is that all this was for you?” Raelyn’s voice was getting higher and louder. “The stupid pact?”
“The pact was your idea, Rae,” said Quinn. “I just wanted to be with you-”
“So tell me you want to be with me!” She was shouting now. “Don’t lie to me!”
“Fine, I want to be with you,” he said the words so fast, it nearly sounded like one word.
Gesturing to their naked bodies in bed together, she scoffed, “Yeah, I see that.” Still holding an arm over her chest, she slid out from under Quinn and flung her feet over the side of the bed.
She felt the burn of tears behind her eyes and had to avoid his gaze.
Forgetting about her undergarments, she found her skater dress and stepped into it, pulling it back on.
“Rae, no, come on,” he climbed off the bed and grabbed her arm to pull her toward him.
“Baby, come on, this week has been so amazing. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.
None of this came out how I meant. I just couldn’t do it knowing I hadn’t been totally honest with you.
But now I’ve told you and we can go from there. ”
“Go from there?” she repeated, incredulous.
“Gee, Quinn, I’m flattered that you’re still willing to make all my dreams come true by fucking me tonight-” she caught the way he winced as she said this, “-but I don’t need you to do me any favors.
” She yanked her arm out of his grip and turned away from him.
The burning behind her eyes was winning out and the tears were welling up in her eyes
“Please, Rae, don’t...I didn’t mean it like that, fuck ,” Quinn fisted his hair as he watched Raelyn grab her things.
“I know how you are with girls, Quinn, but I thought at least I might be different,” Raelyn said around the lump in her throat.
She needed to leave. She needed to be gone, away from here, away from the scene where she discovered the truth about her so-called best friend.
The one person she just knew she could trust above anyone else.
“You are , Rae,” Quinn said, his voice pleading. Raelyn ignored the desperation in his tone as she slipped her sandals back on by the door. “Rae, you’re all I’ve wanted since-”
“All you’ve wanted?” Raelyn shot back, glaring at him from over her shoulder. She shook her head as the first tears spilled down her face. Quinn reached for her again and she pulled out of reach. “Quinn, don’t.” She couldn’t look at him. Didn’t want to be near him.
Pushing her fingers back through her hair, she tried to think of something to say, but there was nothing.
Absolutely nothing that could fix this. Nothing that could make her feel better about his lie.
Nothing that could change how foolish she felt for thinking this was more for both of them.
She let out a shaky sigh and shook her head again.
Without looking back, she pulled the door open and stormed out.
Table of Contents
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