Page 18 of Happy Ending

you?” “Eh, not much. Business has been booming, so that’s always good!

Actually, ma Pops and I were able to buy all ma little siblings Christmas presents this year.

” “Oh my gosh, Thom, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you.

” Thom’s grin spreads ear to ear. “Thanks, Laine. Pops worked really hard this past year, so I’m mostly just glad he was able to see their lil’ faces light up Christmas morning.

It’s what he always wanted.” “Thom…” I reach out and touch his hand, suddenly feeling like a horrible friend for not asking him about himself sooner.

“Uhh, anyway! How are things with you? How’s the new church?

” “Good, I guess.” “You guess?” “I don’t know, I feel like a completely different person ever since I started going to Holy Trinity.

I usually feel really good at church, like I belong, but at Holy Trinity, I only feel good about myself when I’m there, but once I go home, I miss the person I used to be.

” “Ah, I see. And are ya sure that’s the only person you’re missing?

” I furrow my brows at him. “What do you mean?” “You know exactly what I mean, Laine. Don’tcha think I haven’t noticed you and Drew stopped hangin’ out and coming ‘round Starry Scoops.” “Oh, that-” “Ya also didn’t grin when I brought ‘er up just now. You’re usually so giddy, kicking your feet like an idiot in love.

” “Nothing happened. We just drifted with the distance, you know?” I try to sound casual, like it doesn’t bother me that suddenly everyone feels the need to bring her up today, but my heart is pounding and my chest tightens, making it very hard to do so.

“Laine, I think it’s safe to say I’m familiar with your dynamic well enough that I know distance could never pull the two of yous apart.

You were practically attached at tha hip!

” I take a deep inhale, then decide to tell him everything.

Out of all my new friends, Thom feels the most trustworthy.

Plus, he already knows how I felt about it all before.

That part just makes it all the more comforting.

“Okay, maybe you’re right. I broke it off, it being whatever we had.

” “Alright, well, did she do somethin’ to ya?

” Thom leans in across the table, taking a sip of his tea.

“No!” I rush to say. “Not at all. Not exactly, at least.” “Look, if you’re not comfortable tellin’ me, I understand.

” “No, it’s okay. I want to tell you. I just don’t know how.

” “Do ya want me to pull out ma notebook?” He chuckles, reaching his hand into his briefcase.

“Maybe, yeah, that would be nice.” I take the notebook from him and start scribbling on paper while I organize the thoughts in my mind.

“She made me feel things I didn’t want to feel.

Things that I wasn’t supposed to feel.” I say, pressing the ink harder into the paper.

“She made me feel like there was something wrong with me, even if it felt like I was doing everything else right by the church.” Thom’s eyes widen, then soften.

“Are ya sure it was her that made you feel wrong, or was it your own doin’?

” “What do you-” “Ya know exactly what I mean, Laine.” I pause, taking in his words.

I think back through my time with Drew, from the moment we met to the dreaded phone call that ended it all.

Everything was initiated by me. Everything that strengthened or furthered our relationship was a result of something I did or said.

Like the first time we met at our playground and I opened up to her about things I’d never told anyone else, the first time I ever took initiative and felt in control of anything in my life and convinced her to half skinny dip with me when I invited her to model for me and kissed her because the feelings grew too strong to ignore when Father Robert’s sermon terrified me so badly that I immediately ran to the bathroom to break her heart.

Drew didn’t do anything to make me feel what I felt for her.

The only sin she was guilty of was being too easy to fall in love with.

Loving her was the easy part. It was hiding how much I loved her that was the hard part.

“Look, I know how much she means to ya. Everyone has that old flame that they’ll never completely get over, and she’s yours.

” Thom adds, studying my face with an empathetic look on his.

Thom was right about everything he said, except for one part.

Drew wasn’t just an old flame, she was the whole damn candle. My biggest regret is blowing it out.

21

Drew

F inally, it feels like I’ve reached the end of scrolling. The

videos actually start to repeat, which only makes me feel worse to think I’ve gotten to the point that there are quite literally no brainless videos I haven’t seen.

This whole month I’ve been wallowing away in my room. Mom thinks it’s because of Roy’s unexpected arrival, and I don’t bother correcting her. After all, she is half right.

She and Roy have been arguing nonstop, and sometimes, only when I choose to listen in, I’m instantly transported back to when I was eight, and every day, there were nonstop screaming matches between them right before he left.

Luckily for me, my head is constantly stuck replaying the argument I had with Laine in the car, so I mostly drown out their voices now.

Since there’s nothing left to scroll on, I decide to do the next worst thing I could ever decide to do. My finger gravitates toward my photos app. I click on it, giving in to the urge I’ve been holding back from for weeks.

Glibby prances up my bed and curls up next to me, catching my tears in her fur as I scroll up to the very first photo Laine and I took together. Then, I scroll through each picture onward and replay the memory of the moment in my head.

It starts on the drive to the cabin. Just a photo our moms took of us accidentally falling asleep on each other’s shoulders.

Then, at the cabin, a candid shot of the wild expression on her face right as her Jenga tower collapsed.

Next, a photo of our pumpkins. Mine, terrible. Hers, a work of art, of course.

My eyes scan the grid for a photo from the lake until I realize we forgot to bring our phones when we went half skinny dipping, living only in the moment like time really had stopped, because without phones or watches or anything outside of us, it truly felt timeless.

The photos then transition from all of the Christmasy things we did to the night we went stargazing. As I run through our months together, I let the pictures become a visual progression of our story. The events play through my head, and I come to the most soul-crushing revelation.