Page 74 of Handsome Devil

I remembered Daniel Hastings. He occupied my thoughts more often than I cared to admit.

“He let me choose my full name.” Tate sent a ring of smoke skyward, exhaling an arrow through it. “Said in order to put my past behind me, I must independently reinvent my future.”

My heart ached. Tate didn’t even know the truth. Not all of it anyway. The real story behind what happened that day would make him hate me even more.

I reached across the table and grabbed his hand. He slid it away, tapping his fingers on the side of his leg.

“I’m so sorry.” I let tears run freely down my cheeks. “There hasn’t been one day I haven’t thought about your father. It wasn’t me who called the police. I swear it. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could change the way things happened that night. If it’s any consolation, I am already in my own personal inferno. I always think about that day.”

He stubbed his cigarette into an ashtray, scowling at it. “Sorry doesn’t cut it. Paying with your life, however, might.”

Still, I could feel an invisible wall breaking between us. Fog had lingered around our animosity. Around how we ended up in each other’s sphere. Now it cleared, and all that was left was the ugly truth of what brought us together.

I hadn’t known Daniel died in prison. Not until now. Fresh grief filled me. It wasn’t that I didn’t care what happened to him, but I’d been too frightened to check, knowing the truth could destroy me.

“I won’t report you to the police.” I swallowed thickly. “For…for what you did to that man. I’ve done enough to hurt you.”

He said nothing. Something in him knew I wasn’t capable of handing him over to the authorities.

This knowledge frightened me. What else did he see that I didn’t?

“Is marrying me a part of punishing me?” I asked.

“Knowing you’d hate yourself each time I made you come is definitely alluring.” He tucked his hands into his front pockets. “But it isn’t just that. My relationship with my father was both manufactured and successful. I believe we can replicate that.”He scowled. “With the exception that I didn’t want to fuck Daniel, of course.”

My cheeks heated. I nodded, feeling oddly triumphant for managing to win this man over at some point, considering he’d lost his father because of me.

And if he knew to what extent…

But I was too much of a coward to tell him.

“I will never love you.” His gaze caressed mine, almost soft in contrast with his harsh promise. “But I won’t abuse you. Knowing you’d be stuck in a loveless marriage is enough of a punishment. And you will be free and pampered. I will give you money and clothes and vacations. Jewelry and beautiful, well-bred children. You’ll never want for anything.”

“Yes, I will,” I said, smiling sadly. “I will want love. And you’ll never give it to me.”

“This is your penalty, Apricity.” He arched a brow. “You took away my only parent. Despite that, I am now saving yours.”

I was willing to go a long way to atone for my sins. But there’d be plenty of time to discuss that. Tate was uncharacteristically open with me. And I needed to squeeze more information out of him before he clammed up.

“And the person I saw you with today?” I cleared my throat. “What was his sin?”

“He was one of the three men who killed my father in prison. The Ferrantes are hunting them down for me.”

This explained his affiliation with the crime family.

“I have one more person to kill.” He swirled the amber liquid in his tumbler. “The one you saw today, Duffy, he was the second guy.”

“You can’t kill anyone else, Tate. The Irish are already after us.”

“I do not negotiate with terrorists. The way you react to your enemy teaches them how to behave and what to expect. If Istopped now, they’d think they could extort me. If I finish the job, they’d see they have no leverage on me.”

“You said I’d be safe,” I pointed out.

“And you will be. As soon as I eliminate killer number three,” he said calmly. “Shouldn’t take long. I’ll sit down with the Callaghans and tell them I consider our feud over.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I cried out. “We could be spendingmonthsin hiding.”

“We’d make good use of it if you drop that saintly charade of yours and do what we’ve both been itching to do for half a decade.”