Page 120 of Handsome Devil

I gathered him in my arms, clutching his fur, crying. I kept convincing myself this was all a bad dream.

Somewhere in the back of my head, I knew my face was bleeding from the fall, that I was barefoot, that it was cold, that I had to grab my things and go to the communal bathrooms, make myself presentable for my adoptive father. But I couldn’t do anything but hug Apollo and mumble the word sorry over andover and over again. I was so nauseous with grief, there wasn’t even room for the rage I should have felt for Andrin.

A hand fell on my shoulder after a few long moments. Heavy, with a foreign weight to it. It wasn’t Andrin. I recognized sensations, one of the first things I learned from living in the dark.

I swiveled my head, looking back at a stranger’s face. He had a wide-set forehead, a hawkish nose, and bushy eyebrows. He looked like an old bear in a suit.

“Gabriel?” he asked.

I understood immediately that this was my adoptive father, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. I was too devastated to give a shit about what he thought of seeing me clutching a dead rabbit at the edge of the woods.

“Gabriel, what happened?” He clutched my arms, his hold firm but not punishing, his gaze swinging between the rabbit and me.

“Andrin,” I yelped. Narcing on him was satisfying. I wanted him to pay. I wanted him to suffer. “Andrin did it. My teacher.” The words rushed out. So did the tears as I wiped my snot with the back of my arm, like a loser. “He’s been abusing me. He kills my pets. All of them. If I don’t solve the math problems he gives me. But this time, I did solve it! And in less than ten minutes.” I was rambling.

He fell to his knees, grabbed the back of my head, and pushed me into his chest. It took me a second to realize he was hugging me. Another three or four to reciprocate and pretend I was fine with the touch.

“Where is Andrin, son?” His chest rumbled against my face when he spoke.

Son.

I liked the sound of it. And I liked that he smelled nice. That the fabric of his shirt was soft. I liked that he was from home, from America, even though I remembered nothing about it.

“I think in my room, still.”

“Son. I want you to look at me.” He pulled away from me, clasping my shoulders, still on one knee. He was early. He came before the time he was supposed to meet Mrs. Dagmar and me.

He was eager to see me.

Someone in this world wanted my company.

“This was the last time someone will harm you. No more. I will make sure Andrin pays for what he did to you. For what he did to all your animals. No more heartbreak, Gabriel.”

I flinched. He frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“No one calls me that.”

“What, Gabriel?” He seemed surprised. “Why? Do you not like your name?”

Shrugging, I admitted, “It’s not that. It’s just that…there are a lot of kids here. Sometimes for only a year or two as part of exchange programs. No one’s ever bothered remembering my name. Andrin calls me Boy. Mrs. Dagmar calls me Child sometimes, but in a nice way.”

“And your friends?”

“My friends…” I trailed off, picking at a scab on my knee. “Uh, well, I don’t have any, exactly.”

His frown turned into a smile. “Good. Me neither. More time to spend together.”

It was like he lifted a heavy stone from my shoulders. And this time, I smiled too.

“I have something for you.” He reached into his pocket, taking out a pocket watch. He handed it to me. “Mrs. Dagmar told me you like Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. So do I. This is a family heirloom I think you’d enjoy.”

He steered me away from the dead animal, walking closely beside me back toward the dorms. I felt safe next to him. Andrin couldn’t burst out of the building and drag me into the woods anymore.

“Gabriel, would you like to choose your own name to mark your new start?” he asked. “You don’t have to take mine. You’ll find out quickly that my house runs with very few rules, but the ones I have are good ones.”

I liked the sound of it. So much so I felt sickeningly guilty for being happy so soon after what happened to Apollo.

“Yeah. I want to choose something good. Something…dark.”