Page 31 of Handling Skylar (Hope Parish #5)

“After the Harvest Festival is over. That Sunday. We’ve got enough craziness right now. Samantha has begun planning and getting her ducks in a row so Momma doesn’t steamroll over her.” He reached out and opened the door. “Let’s get going. We’ve got a lot to discuss today.”

***

As Saturday dawned bright and sunny, the temperature in mid-October comfortably in the eighties, we headed to the back of her house and her small dock. At the shore we settled into our kayaks and started to paddle out into the river.

“Do you miss home?” I asked, wondering about her life on a ranch. We drifted along.

She shook her head. “I haven’t regretted a moment moving here from the West. I needed to get away from the memories of growing up there, with my parents, my brother. Suttontowne has become my home, and I feel grounded here almost more than I did in Jasper Gulch. Does that make sense?”

“A sense of place, of home, I believe comes from the heart. Cambridge never felt like home to me. I couldn’t imagine not living on the bayou.”

“I love it here, especially the people, the food, the atmosphere. Influences of the French and Spanish who settled here.”

I nodded. “Abundant natural resources usually dictate the lifestyles, culture, and social and economic development of the people residing in a particular area. You see the impact of the swamp here, the rich cultural diversity of the people who inhabited the area. It gave us delicious food, amazing music, and an attitude when it came to hurricanes.”

She laughed. “I’ve only been to New Orleans once since I moved here.”

I tapped her kayak with my paddle. “That’s terrible. We’ll have to fix that. Booker and Aubree have a place in New Orleans. They love to have visitors, and Brax’s Huckleberry Café isn’t to be missed, not to mention the Garden District, the French Quarter and Bourbon Street.”

She tapped my kayak with her paddle and gave me a grin, her eyes dancing.

“I’d love to experience that all with you, Jake.

” I had to take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

This woman made me feel so good all the time.

I found myself grinning like a fool again.

My days of dark brooding had dwindled. Not that I didn’t drive myself crazy, but now, my world was filled with her.

My love for her growing every minute I was in her presence.

I had no idea how she felt about me, but I was certain she cared.

The sun climbed and we paddled along, the banks on either side of us filled with the color of autumn in the Bayou, gold, red and orange. Giant trees surrounded us as we pulled over with plans to eat lunch.

She pulled out the rice salad with chicken, and we shared the container, munching on the cucumbers, savory chicken and citrus rice flavors, washing it down with lemonade.

When we were done, I pressed my back against the big willow and, after reaching for a container and prying it open, she snuggled into my arms.

She offered it up to me, the delectable smell of cinnamon and apples strong. I grabbed a few cubes and tossed them in my mouth and made a humming noise after chewing.

“Cinnamon apple cake.”

“What are those beautiful trees?” she asked.

“Cypress and those over there are tupelo. They only grow in swamps. Their bases are wider to give them better balance in this environment. Majestueux is filled with cypress wood. It’s beautiful.”

“I’ve only caught glimpses of the house. It looks magnificent.”

“It is,” I said. “It’s home.” I closed my eyes, tightening my arms around Sky.

She seemed to understand without me even telling her that my thoughts had once again centered on my daddy.

I had worked so closely with him over the years after Chase left, feeling proprietary and self-righteous because I had been the loyal son and stayed.

How little I knew back then, totally unaware of how my brother must have struggled.

I had been alone within my family, but Chase had endured complete isolation and distance.

For the first time, I put myself in my brother’s shoes, and I came up lacking.

“I agreed to be the best man at my brother’s wedding.”

She rose and looked at me, her eyes shining. She smiled and threw her arms around me. “Oh, Jake, that’s wonderful.” When she pulled away, she stroked my jaw and kissed my mouth. “How are you feeling now about your dad? Something tells me not too good.”

I nodded. The cycle of emotions never seemed to end in a place where the past never seemed to go away.

I could understand fully why Sky had decided to move away, but I hadn’t lost my family.

My brother, sister and parents were all alive and I felt ungrateful knowing that Sky had lost her family and her home.

“I should get past this and forgive him. I just feel blindsided by all these feelings that I’d buried and transferred to my brother who didn’t deserve them.”

She framed my face with her hands and said, “You are the only one who can decide how you feel. Shouldn’t and couldn’t don’t really matter.

She tilted my head up, her eyes direct and warm with her passion.

My throat tightened. “I know deep guilt and remorse. I say channel those emotions into a positive future. Forgiving can only start when you’ve healed from the years of suppressing your true feelings. ”

“I know, but I’ve spent so much time being unhappy, and I’m tired of thinking about the past. What happened, happened.

I want to move on. Need to. I just don’t know where I’m going to be, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pissed that my daddy is making decisions that affect me without consulting me. ”

“You don’t know that. You have no idea what’s going on. Isn’t it fair to wait until he’s ready to also talk about his plans?”

I gave her a disgruntled look because she was right. “Why do you always say the right thing?”

“I have experience. I know, babe. I get it totally. But, somewhere in all this self-blaming, you need to find a way to forgive yourself, not only for your brother, but for the way you dealt with everything. It’s always reactionary when you discover something you hadn’t realized was true, but once you’ve had some time to assimilate everything, you’ll find out that you, too, deserve to be forgiven. ”

As we paddled back toward the house, I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said. At the shore, we got out of the kayaks and secured them on her rack that was positioned up against the house.

Inside, we changed into drier clothes and she started dinner while I flipped on the TV to check the forecast. When she called that it was ready, we ate.

“How are you doing with the brush situation in the Elliott Grove?”

“Pretty much done. I’m going to assess the nuts on Monday and see what we have, but it looks good.

I think I can have that grove producing by next year, most definitely in two.

As for the harvest, everything looks good for the festival.

We’ll start shaking the trees the day before the festival opens. ”

“It’s coming up fast, but I think we’re in good shape,” she said.

I nodded. “We are. Everything is progressing nicely.”

“Can I come out when you start harvesting? I feel a real affinity to the orchard after putting in so much time there.”

I leaned back and grinned at her, feeling great that she was so interested in what I did for a living.

“I would love that.” She smiled, her expressive eyes holding mine.

“After seeing you on that tractor, looking like a sexy farm girl, I sure wouldn’t be averse to seeing you working heavy machinery. ”

The glimmer of amusement intensified, and she responded, her tone pointed. “I’m not just good at working heavy machinery.”

“Is that so? Care to give me a demonstration?”

“Maybe.”

“Oh? What is it going to cost me?”

She laughed and I felt lighter than air. “You clean up the kitchen.”

“Clean the kitchen? That’s going to get you hot and bothered enough to give me the demonstration I would move heaven and earth to have?”

“Oh, yeah, baby, rubber gloves, apron, that tight backside at the sink. Those strong arms washing and drying. Only thing hotter would be you doing the laundry or better yet, ironing.”

“Ironing? Now you’re getting me hot.”

She threw back her head and laughed. I came out of my chair and dragged her against me, nuzzling my open mouth against her neck.

She squealed and wrestled out of my grasp, going behind the table.

“Oh, no you don’t,” she said breathlessly.

Reaching out, she snagged one of the dinner plates and held it out to me.

Dishes first. I’m going to take a shower. ”

“Slave driver,” I groused, taking the plate.

She gave me a sassy, stern look and flipped her braid over her shoulder. At the doorway, she reached for her top. “You should hurry. I might be much too tired to work any kind of machinery tonight.” Her words nothing but a teasing promise.

I started gathering the dishes as she pulled her top over her head, the creamy expanse of her back disappearing into the hall. I gritted my teeth and got to cleaning.

It took me all of fifteen minutes to get everything rinsed and in the dishwasher, all surfaces gleaming and leftovers put away, I eagerly headed for her bedroom.

I came up short when I saw her near the window, her hair a curtain of black against the flimsy garment clinging to her soft skin, a pair of panties was all she wore on her delectable lower half.

She turned at the sound of my entrance, and it only took one look at her face to know that something serious had occurred between the time she left the kitchen and now.

She almost pulled off that cool, kind of removed, slightly amused demeanor, but there was something about her that made my gaze narrow.

I held her eyes and the hollowness in them made my gut clench.

It was grief I saw—deep, gut-wrenching grief.

That glimpse stunned me, and I stood in the doorway, my hands tightening, feeling like my legs had just been swept out from under me.

Without thinking, I crossed the room, grabbing her arm from behind. I hauled her against me and wrapped her in a tight embrace.

I didn’t say anything, just held her. Finally the stiffness left her body, and she wrapped her arms around my neck and clung to me. The soft slide of her tears soaking into my collar. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She took a shuddering breath and let it out.

“After you were talking about harvesting, I started thinking how, about this time of year, we would be checking on our herd, at different locations within a sixty-mile radius, cows calving, performing herd-health measures, cutting hay and completing pasture maintenance. We were a cow/calf ranch, our calves selling through auction and leaving about mid-August. A few were sold year around to restaurants. We continued to work in the hayfield in the fall, which quickly transitioned into planting our winter forages.” She choked out a watery chuckle.

“My dad used to say we were in the grass business.”

I didn’t say anything, just let her talk, her voice husky with her memories.

My heart broke for her loss, making my whole situation with my daddy seem like something I could easily overcome.

Sky was teaching me how lucky I was to have all my family members alive and well.

We were at odds, but nothing was as final, as in her situation, as death.

“I never got the chance to tell them how much I loved them. I was angry and bitter at them, contemplating running away to ranch hand on my own. I didn’t want to leave my high school boyfriend.

I didn’t want them telling me what to do, and I certainly didn’t want to go away to school.

But all of that just lost its meaning when they died.

I wish I had the chance to tell them how much they meant to me. ”

“I know,” I said, feeling as if no words would be enough in the face of this kind of pain. I admired her so much for getting on with her life, for building something solid and good. “You’ve done them proud, sugar. I admire what you did with the Blue Coyote Spa and all you have accomplished.”

“I named the shop after these howling coyote salt and pepper shakers my mom had on her collection shelf. She was so happy to find them at an old flea market. They were very cool, and I often took them down to look at them. I lost everything in the fire, old family photos, all the furniture, everything…but I’ve been looking everywhere for those salt and pepper shakers just to have that one piece of them back.

I’m sorry. I just sort of got blindsided by the memories. ”

“You don’t have to ever apologize to me, babe, about your feelings for your family.”

“I can’t bring them back. Grief if one thing, but dwelling on this won’t help me move forward. That’s why I attempt to leave everything that happened back there where it belongs. You understand, Jake. I don’t want to talk about any of that stuff that happened. It’s over.”

“Sky…if you need to talk—”

“I don’t, not about any of it.”

Her tone was adamant, and I had to respect it, but I would take on anything that she had experienced if she would open up to me about what she had gone through. I wanted to be there for her. It would take time, and I was sure we would have the time together that we needed.