Page 24 of Handling Skylar (Hope Parish #5)

When I’d found him after frantically searching, his brother and sister both alarmed, I’d been so relieved.

Something had happened to him, something profound and life-altering.

My chest felt painfully full. I had shed some worried tears in the car.

I was certain after what Jake had said to me, he wouldn’t have stood me up.

I knew he was in trouble. Struggling with the tightness pressing down in my chest, I’d looked into those lost eyes and there had been no barrier.

The unexpected starkness there had made my heart contract.

Pain. And a terrible, terrible aloneness.

Feeling as if I’d just stumbled onto something so private, so personal, that it was as if I had trespassed emotionally when he was at his most vulnerable.

“I’m here for you,” I said. “You can count on me.”

“That’s good,” he said. “I need you, Sky. I need you bad,” he whispered. He’d had so much pressure on him for years. Twenty-six years. And I knew there were some very deep scars. Scars that went soul deep. I’d talked to Chase and he’d said that Jake had forgiven him, so what had happened?

“Remember that next time you want to drink a bottle of Jack and stumble around on the highway. You know where to find me and it would be safer for you and less scary for me. I was worried about you.”

He was silent for a moment, and I gave him some time. I raised my head. Jake met my gaze for a split second, then stared at the floor. There was something about the set of his shoulders about the tight lines of his mouth, that made me want to cry, and I looked at the ceiling and swallowed hard.

The ache finally eased. I cupped his bristly chin and drew his eyes to me. “Please, Jake,” I pleaded softly. “Talk to me. You’re safe with me.”

His face contorting in a fury of pent-up feelings, he hit the edge of the counter with his fist. He raised his hand for a second blow, but I caught it before it could connect.

Shaken by his uncharacteristic display of anger, I slid my free arm around his rigid shoulders.

Grasping him by the back of the neck, I used all my strength to hold him against me.

“Don’t,” I whispered brokenly. “Please don’t.

” He tried to pull away, but I refused to let him go.

Closing my eyes against the feelings that washed through me, I tried to soothe him with the sound of my voice.

“Shh, shh,” I crooned softly. “It’s okay. It’s okay.”

He shuddered and turned his face against my neck, then dragged in a deep, ragged breath and caught me in a crushing embrace.

Cradling the back of his head, I pressed my whole body against him, trying to physically give comfort, trying to wordlessly let him know that it was okay.

His hand tangled in my hair as he shifted his hold, locking me against him.

He inhaled raggedly and turned his face against my neck.

“I saw Chase. I tried to let go of everything—the resentment, the anger—let the past be in the past. My brother hasn’t ever changed.

He’s still the guy I always knew. He apologized and I think I forgave him, but when I let down my barriers, when I let go of everything, I found that I’d buried something awful. ”

Letting go of his head, I hugged him hard. “What was it?” I asked, my voice softly encouraging. “You’re so very safe with me, Jake.” I brushed at his cheek, then rubbed the back of his neck. “Tell me,” I continued to caress him, giving him time to think about it.

After a while, he released a heavy sigh, and I raised my head and looked at him. His expression drawn and lost, he touched my cheek. “I discovered that it wasn’t my brother I’ve been so pissed at since he left,” he said, his voice strained.

I rubbed a trace of juice from the corner of his mouth and gave him a soft, reassuring squeeze. “Who?”

He closed his eyes and said, “My daddy. He’s the one who drove Chase away. I think it was so hard for me to process at sixteen, that I just transferred my anger to Chase, denying the truth. It was easier.”

“I know all about denial,” I said, pressing my forehead to his. “You’re in touch with it now, Jake. How has that truth affected you?”

“I don’t know who I am, Sky. I have been who I thought my daddy wanted me to be for so many years, I’m not sure what I want anymore.”

“Then you’ll take the time to figure this out.”

“I don’t want to live in that house now. I can’t think there. I don’t know what to do or where to go.”

“You can stay with me.” Angry at his personal circumstances and the pressure that had been so intense, wishing I could make it better, I took his face between my hands, then stretched up and gave him a soft kiss.

He stopped breathing and went very still.

I could feel the need in him, the lonely, lonely need, and I put my heart and soul into that kiss, wordlessly telling him that I was all in here.

A shudder coursed through him, and he drew another ragged breath, catching me by the back of the head, his jaw flexing beneath my hand as he responded.

He moved his mouth slowly against mine, tasting me, savoring me, drawing my breath from me and leaving me weak.

It went on and on, until I was suffocating from all the sensations pouring in on me, and I flattened my hand against his chest. He tensed and dragged his mouth away from mine.

His heart was slamming in his chest, and his breath was harsh and uneven, but he gathered me up in a cuddling embrace and I hung on to him, giving him my strength.

“I know what it’s like to lose yourself and try to put all the pieces back together.

I left my hometown with my legacy in ashes, Jake.

I didn’t know where to go or what to do, but I followed my heart.

I found Suttontowne and what I love. You will, too.

You’ve just got to give yourself time to find out what matters to you. Let me be your Suttontowne.”

He raised his head. “You don’t have to do anything your uncomfortable with, Sky.” He shifted his gaze as he smoothed his thumb along my eyebrow, then looked at me, his eyes dark and solemn. “Believe me, I’d understand if you wanted to keep all this quiet.”

It had cost him to make such an open admission.

I could see it in his eyes, and it was all I could do to keep from letting my feelings get the upper hand.

“I don’t care if the whole world knows,” I responded softly, holding his gaze.

“And I don’t care who finds out about us. Except, the issue with Anna Kate—”

“There’s no issue there anymore. I broke it off with her. Not as eloquently as I hoped to, but she pushed my buttons.”

“Really or did she say something nasty about me?”

He stared down at me his gaze troubled. He lifted a wisp of hair off my face and carefully tucked it behind my ear; then he looked at me again.

“I don’t give a damn what she has to say or anyone for that matter,” he said huskily.

“Thank you for your offer, but are you sure about this. I’m screwed up right now and I’ve got all this family drama. ”

“I’m sure, but keep in mind that I’m no one’s maid. You may have that up at Majestueux, but I’m a working gal, so you’re warned.”

“I did live on my own at college. I’m not completely spoiled,” he said, in his slow drawl, and I guessed that more than one woman had fallen victim to his smoky, lazy voice. The kind of come-to-bed voice that mothers had nightmares about. “I promise I won’t leave my underwear on the floor.”

I smiled and met his gaze, amused by his blatant use of charm. “Uh-huh,” I drawled and he chuckled and drew me closer.

“I’d clean this whole house to get to what you have baking in the oven.”

“Oh, that,” I draped my arms over his shoulders and grinned. “Comfort food—chocolate banana pancake casserole.”

He rolled his eyes in pleasure. “I’m not holding you up, am I?”

“No, I already called Jordan to cover for me. I don’t have a client until after lunch.” I grabbed the juice and headed for the cupboard and glasses. “Let’s try this in a civilized manner,” I murmured.

“I’m not feeling exactly civilized right now,” he growled, those shadows still there. He had so much to deal with before they would lift.

He grabbed me around the waist and the juice spilled as I juggled it and tried to stand against the onslaught of this beautiful man.

Just barely getting the juice on the counter before Jake dragged me back against him, pushing his erection against my backside and sliding his hand beneath the elastic waistband of my pants, his fingers found me. The unexpectedness of the move made me cry out.

“So wet,” he murmured as his free hand slipped under my top and clasped my bare breast, his thumb pressing hard over my nipple. “I want you all over me.” His breath was hot and his words even hotter. “Last night it was so out of control. I don’t have anything on me. Do we—”

“No,” I answered on a shudder as he slipped his fingers inside me. “I’m on the pill.”

He whispered my name and gathered me close. Holding me fast, he shifted me, and I gave a soft cry and opened my mouth against his. It was like touching pure electricity, and a fury of want, a frenzy of need ignited between us. With a helpless sound against his mouth, I was completely his.

The comfort food could wait.