Page 59 of Hale Yes (Highway to Hale #1)

Of course the guy has the penthouse suite, complete with a full bar in the living room. My eyes search the selection and fall on a bottle of my favorite cabernet sauvignon on the top shelf.

“A glass of the cab,” I say before reiterating, “Only one glass to take the edge off.”

He smirks and expertly uncorks the bottle before pouring us both a healthy glass of the deep red wine.

I’d like to down it like a shot of tequila, but I force myself to sip as the guy makes himself at home beside me on the burgundy couch.

He removed his jacket when we got up here and rolled up the sleeves of his blue dress shirt, showing off his tattoo.

He’s also wearing gray suspenders, damn him.

“First of all,” he says, brushing the backs of his knuckles down my bare arm.

“First of all, no touching,” I say pointedly. “You said you wanted to talk.”

Looking chagrined, he pulls his hand back and rubs it up and down his own thigh. His thick, muscled thigh that I’m definitely not thinking about right now.

“Okay, first of all, I want to start by apologizing.” He wets his lips, and swallows.

“I was one-hundred percent wrong, Nicolette. You have more integrity in your pinky finger than most people have in their entire bodies. I know you would never steal or do anything to hurt our company. My issues are my own, and I was projecting them onto you, and that was absolutely a mistake.”

I sense he’s not done, so I remain quiet as he takes a long sip of his wine. “I haven’t trusted anyone outside my family in a long while, but when I fell for you, I gave you my heart and my trust. I let that trust waver, and for that, I’m truly sorry.”

Okay, as far as apologies go, that was a good one. He owned his mistakes, apologized for them, and didn’t blame anyone else for his fuck up. But I’m still so hurt.

“Thank you,” I say quietly. “I accept your apology.”

The tight set of his shoulders releases a bit of tension, and he gives me a fleeting smile. “Thank you. I know I don’t deserve it, but thank you.”

“Is that all?” I ask, feeling the need to flee, and I don’t know why. Maybe I can sense something more coming, and it scares me. I want to hold onto my anger for a while longer, and I’m already feeling a tad softer toward the guy .

“I’d like to explain, if you’ll let me. I don’t want you to think I’m making excuses because I’m not.

I just want to let you in.” He stares down into his glass and swirls the red liquid a few times.

“I feel closer to you than I have with anyone except for Phoenix. I shared a womb with him but I feel like I share a soul with you. I’ve never had that before. ”

His eyes pin me in place, his tender gaze beseeching.

“Okay,” I breathe, taking another drink of my wine for fortification purposes.

The guy gnaws on his bottom lip for a second before beginning. “Five years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I was headed to the Olympic trials for swimming and was predicted to make the U.S. Team.”

My lips part in shock. I know he’s said he was a competitive swimmer, but I didn’t expect this level. “But you didn’t?”

He shakes his head, still looking at his wine. “I had a girlfriend, Kayla, back then. We had been together for about a year and a half.”

A year and a half? That sounds serious, and thinking about him with another woman gives me an ache beneath my breastbone. Downing the rest of my wine, I refill my glass about halfway. Fuck it. I’ll sleep like a baby when I get back to my room.

“Kayla started getting clingy with me, and it got really old, really fast. To be honest, I was planning to break up with her, but there was a death in her family, so I let it go on for a few more months.” His face wrinkles into a grimace.

“I was finally ready to break things off around the time of Phoenix’s wedding.

You remember I told you what happened that day? ”

His eyes catch mine, and I nod, taking a small drink of my wine. “I remember. Poor Phoenix.”

The guy takes a generous gulp of his own wine and nods.

“After all that went down, I thought it might be a good excuse to let her down easy. I told her I had to end things because I needed to be there for my family, and it wasn’t fair to string her along when I wouldn’t have time to spend with her. ”

I nod along. “That sounds reasonable.”

“I truly thought so. Kayla was one of those fragile types, and I really was trying to let her down easy, like the whole it’s not you, it’s me thing so she wouldn’t feel bad about herself.

” He drags a hand down his face. “I thought it would be the kindest thing to do instead of telling her she was getting on my last nerve.”

I can feel the tension thickening like a dense fog in the room as he tops off his glass.

“Kayla didn’t take it well. She started clinging harder. I moved in with Phoenix for a bit, just to be there for my brother since he was having such a hard time, and she would randomly show up at his house with food or little gifts for both of us.”

“Ahh, a stage-five clinger,” I surmise, and he shakes his head.

“I’m not even sure there’s a number high enough.

I told her over and over to stop it, that things were over between us, but she insisted she could help.

” The guy blows out a deep exhale, and I can smell the sweetness of the wine on his breath.

“It got to the point where my family was becoming concerned. Notes on my car every morning. Flowers showing up at the lab. Some notes that were kind of disturbing. She just wasn’t taking the hint. ”

My heart thuds inside my chest. This Kayla chick sounds unhinged.

“What kinds of notes?” I ask.

“Nothing overtly threatening. It was mostly stuff like I’ll never let you go and You know your heart belongs to me .

” He shakes his head. “Phoenix was especially worried. He told me I should get a restraining order against her. At that point, he was my entire focus… well him and Reecie. So, to put his mind at ease, I went down to the police station.”

I can hear the strain in his voice, so I break my no-touching rule and place my hand on his knee. He immediately covers my hand with his and gives me a grateful look before continuing.

“I told the officer what was going on, about the notes and gifts, how Kayla wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“Did you get the restraining order?”

His lips turn white with pressure, and he shakes his head. “When I got done, he made me feel stupid. Laughed and asked me what kind of man couldn’t handle a little attention from a woman.” Staring at the wall, he says quietly, “I felt like less of a man.”

I roll my hand over and link my fingers with his. He seems like he needs an extra level of comfort, and no matter how mad I am at him, I do care about him.

“What happened?” I ask, pretty sure this story is about to take a turn.

“I decided not to get the restraining order and went home. I hadn’t been home in about a week.

I had only gone to the swimming training facility for practices and then back to Phoenix’s.

That’s it, other than going with my brother to shop for baby stuff a couple of times.

I was focused on Phoenix and my intense training schedule.

That’s it. But I needed to get a couple things from my closet. ”

His eyes gaze unseeingly at the large television mounted on the wall, where “Welcome, Dr. Hale” is bouncing slowly around the screen.

“I was living in an apartment then, and when I entered my living room, something seemed off, but I didn’t think much about it. I just chalked it up to that empty feeling homes get when they’ve sat unoccupied for a while.”

He drains his glass, and I do too, sensing things weren’t going to end well with this story. He adds more to our wine glasses, emptying the bottle before resuming his stare at the television, which is now listing the hotel’s amenities.

“When I got upstairs, I saw immediately that something was really off. All my clothes had been hung on one side, and women’s clothes hung on the other. I recognized them as Kayla’s.”

“Shit,” I mumble, and he nods.

“Very shit,” he replies. “That’s when I realized what was off about my living room. My coffee table was gone, and it had been replaced with Kayla’s little spindly-legged one. She had effectively moved herself into my apartment while I was gone.”

This tale had officially gone dark, and I clenched tightly to his hand.

“I went downstairs, and she was coming out of my kitchen wearing an apron and one of those dresses that looked straight out of a 1950s sitcom.”

“She broke in?” I ask incredulously.

“She had a key, which I took back from her after we broke up. Apparently, she had copies made.” He winces. “I know now I should have had the locks changed, but hindsight and all that.”

We each take a sip of wine before he starts talking again.

“I asked Kayla what the hell she was doing in my house, and she informed me—very calmly, I might add—that she was taking care of things for me like a good wife should do. I was just flabbergasted and so damn angry. We’d never even gotten close to the marriage level, at least in my eyes.

I told her she needed professional help, and she started to cry.

That kind of shit used to work on me, but I was beyond caring. I yelled at her to get out.”

Helix’s head moves side to side as if he still can’t believe what happened next.

“She told me she couldn’t have this discussion right then because she had dinner in the oven.

So she wiped her eyes on her frilly apron and went back into the kitchen.

I was standing there trying to figure out what the fuck was happening. ”

I stay quiet, though I want to rage on his behalf. His voice takes on a raspy quality, rough and scratchy.

“I finally followed her into the kitchen and found her holding one of my huge butcher knives. She told me my heart belonged to her, and she planned to take it.”

My free hand slaps across my mouth, and I curse into my palm. This bitch had gone completely psycho.

“When she lunged at me, I tried to dodge.” Helix’s eyes came to me.

“I often wonder what would have happened if I’d just punched her.

My instincts have always been to never lay an angry hand on a woman, but I still wonder if my life would have turned out differently if I’d done more to protect myself.

Then I feel like a horrible person for even thinking it. ”

Squeezing his hand hard, I say, “There’s a difference between abuse and self-defense, Helix. You shouldn’t feel bad for thinking about it. Hell, I wouldn’t have blamed you a bit if you’d cold-cocked her.”

His smile is sad. “That’s what Phoenix said.

And my therapist. I saw Dr. Shannon for two years afterward.

We talked a lot about toxic masculinity and society’s standards for how men should act.

Like the whole thing with the restraining order.

I let myself be shamed into dropping it because a real man doesn’t need outside help in a relationship. ”

“Utter bullshit,” I grumble.

“Yeah, I know that now. I’ve grown a lot since then.”

My eyes flick to his shoulder, hidden beneath the cobalt-blue of his shirt. “Is that what happened to your shoulder?”

Helix nods and stares at the fringe ringing the rug beneath the coffee table. “Yeah. When I dodged, the knife went into my shoulder, severing my coracoclavicular ligament.” His chin trembles, and it hurts me to the depths of my soul. “It ended my swimming career.”

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I can’t help myself. I throw my arms around Helix and let him bury his face in my neck. His arms are strong and warm around me, and I realize how much I’ve missed his hugs.

We cling together, me whispering, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” over and over into his thick, dark hair.

“No, I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I should have told you way earlier about all this, but it’s not easy for me. My entire life changed that night, and it’s not something I like to dwell on. But it definitely caused trust issues.”

He pulls back, and I see a tear hanging on his bottom lashes.

Helix swipes it away with his thumb before using his index finger to wipe beneath my left eye.

I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying too.

Then he smudges his thumb and forefinger together, melding our tears together.

It’s such an intimate thing to do, like some kind of weird blood pact but with tears. I don’t dislike it.

“I just wanted you to know everything, Nicolette. Yes, I screwed up, but I never stopped loving you, not for a second. I understand if you can’t find it inside yourself to forgive me, but I’d like to try and make it up to you.” His blue eyes search my face. “Will you let me try?”

Oh my heart. It pounds and it hurts and… it starts to heal. Just the tiniest bit. But I still feel the need to protect it from further damage.

“You hurt me, Helix. You didn’t trust me. I’ve told you how I’ve always felt I was written in the margins of my own life, and what you did shoved me back to the margins.”

“I know.” He cups my face, and another tear falls from his eye.

“I can never apologize enough. If you say it’s over for good, I’ll respect that, but if you think there’s even a chance you could forgive me, I will fight for you, Nicolette, because you don’t belong in the margins.

You’re front and center of my life, and I want to prove it. ”

Helix drops to his knees on the rug and sandwiches my hand between his.

“I will do anything in my power to get you back, Nicolette Bell.” His lips quirk up the tiniest of bits.

“Short of stalking. After what happened to me, I understand boundaries, so if you set them, I will follow them. I love you with my entire heart, and if there’s a glimmer of hope, I will grab onto it. ”

I think about that for a long while before speaking. “You’ve always encouraged me to stand up for myself, and this is me doing exactly that.” His face falls until I say, “But there is a glimmer.”

He’s full-on grinning now. “Say no more. If I overstep, you can tell me, but expect to be wooed, Nicolette. I mean, you need to seriously prepare yourself for the wooing.”

Laughing, I say, “I look forward to it.”

He pulls me into a hug, and I close my eyes, loving the feel and the scent of him way more than I should.

And then the wine kicks my ass, and I fall asleep with my head on his shoulder.