Page 16 of Hale Yes (Highway to Hale #1)

CHAPTER TEN

Sir PooPoo the Terminator

Nicolette

When I arrive home later that evening, I collect a couple packages that arrived for me today.

I’d ordered some sheets and a comforter for the downstairs guest room, so I rip open the boxes and toss the linens into the washer.

Lehra and Cruz said they would come for a visit once I got settled, and I want to have a room ready for them.

As I’m about to head upstairs, I hear a knock on my front door and backtrack. Swinging open the door, I find two men and…

“Is that a goose?” I ask, craning my head to inspect what the tall man is holding.

The snowy white bird honks and sways its head from side to side in response. Guess that answers that question .

“Yes, this is Pookie,” the tall man answers.

“Tell her his real name,” the shorter one scolds.

Tall guy rolls his eyes and sighs. “This is Sir PooPoo the Terminator.”

I snort, and the bird emits a loud WAHNK in my direction, almost startling me out of my skin.

“Excuse me, Sir PooPoo. I didn’t mean to offend,” I tell him, feeling a bit silly to be apologizing to a goose, but I’m nothing if not hospitable.

The shorter man tuts. “Don’t worry about it. He’s quite the drama queen.” He holds out a soft, pudgy hand, and I shake it. “I’m Lukas, one of your neighbors.”

“And I’m Stefan,” the other one says, shifting Sir PooPoo to one arm so he can also shake. He has slightly rougher hands with long, well-manicured fingers. “I’m the sweet one.”

“Like hell you are,” Lukas argues before focusing on me again. “Don’t let him fool you. He gets all precious and up in his feelings sometimes. Then he likes to pretend he has a personality. I assume you’re Nicolette?”

“Oh, yes, sorry,” I say, feeling equal parts flustered and amused. “I was a little distracted by your feathered friend.”

“Understandable,” Stefan says, his voice a bit more formal than his friend’s. “Not every day two well-dressed men show up on your doorstep with a goose.” They are dressed nicely, their trousers and dress shirts of obvious fine quality. Stefan is also sporting a paisley ascot.

“And we brought treats,” Lukas adds, handing over a blue polka-dotted box.

“That is so sweet. Thank you,” I say, accepting the box and peeking through the top window to see a selection of colorful and intricately decorated cake pops. I’m going to turn into a lardass if all these Texans keep bringing me sweets as welcome gifts. “These are beautiful.”

“They’re store-bought,” Stefan informs me.

Lukas huffs. “You didn’t have to tell her that. Maybe our new neighbor thinks I look talented enough to make these masterpieces.”

Stefan’s tone is dry as the Sahara. “Lukas, you couldn’t run an Easy-Bake oven.”

These two are freaking hilarious, and I instantly want to know more about them. “Would you like to come in? I’ll make some coffee, and we can share the cake pops.” I glance at the goose, who seems to be wearing a diaper of some sort. “Pookie is welcome as well.”

“We’d love to,” Lukas accepts for all three of them, and I guide them into the living room.

A few minutes later, we’re all seated around the coffee table enjoying our food and drinks. Lukas pulls out something from his pocket and holds it up to the animal’s beak.

“Are you feeding the goose a cake pop?” I ask in shock, though I really shouldn’t be surprised at anything these three do.

“No, too much sugar,” he answers as Pookie takes surprisingly delicate nibbles. “I wad up a piece of bread and put it on a stick so he feels like he’s part of the family.”

“And do you mind if I ask how Pookie got such an… original name?”

Both men share a look and a chuckle. The affection between them is obvious, but I’m still not sure if they’re partners, just friends, or relatives.

The latter seems unlikely because they look vastly different.

Stefan is long and lean with blue eyes and blond hair, gray peppering through at the temples.

Lukas, on the other hand, is squatty with raven hair and warm chocolate eyes.

He appears to be at least a decade younger than Stefan.

Then I remember Bonnie referred to them as a couple, so I’m guessing they’re partners.

“Lukas told his nephew he could name our adopted pet, and he decided on Sir PooPoo the Terminator.”

“He was four at the time,” Lukas explains.

“Ah, that makes sense.” I bite into a pink and purple cake pop with a white drizzle and moan. “Oh, that’s good.”

“The Sweet Tooth makes the best desserts,” Stefan explains. “It’s a few blocks down that way.” He points out the window, and I take note of the direction because I’ll definitely be finding my way to this bakery in the near future.

“So Bonnie tells us you’re working at Hale Cosmetics,” Lukas pipes up.

“Yes, I’m a biochemist in the lab there. I’ll be doing a little of everything, but I love the research and development side of the business.”

Stefan bites into his own treat, this one chocolate with shreds of coconut. “Oooh, I love their products. Any plans for a men’s skin care line in the future?”

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while actually, but today was my first day at the company. I have no idea what plans are in the works, but I hope to suggest it to Dr. Hale at some point.”

“That would be fantastic,” he comments.

“What do you do for work?” I ask, curious.

“I’m a stay-at-home goose daddy,” Lukas announces, stroking Pookie’s feathery head. “And Stefan is my sugar daddy.”

I laugh and turn my attention to the tall man holding a now-snoozing goose on my couch. “And you? What do you do to support your sugar baby?”

“I’m a musician. Mostly piano, though I’m classically trained in voice as well.”

“Stefan can play almost any instrument known to man,” Lukas brags, smiling up at his partner with pride shining in his dark eyes. “And he composes music for orchestras and bands. Meanwhile, I take care of everything around the house.”

“Except for the yardwork. I do that because Lukas is strictly a house gay.”

A laugh snorts from my nose, and I cough. “You two are too much.”

Lukas pretends to cast an affronted glare at Stefan. “I helped you carry wood last winter at your mother’s house.”

Stefan lifts his nose haughtily. “Ah yes. You carried two sticks the size of my pinkie. You’re a regular lumberjack, Lukas.”

“Hmmph. You know I would have carried more, but I got that darn splinter.” Lukas holds up his index finger, and Stefan kisses it.

“Yes, dear. It was a tragedy I’ll never be able to unsee.” His reply is droll, but it’s accompanied by a twinkle in his blue eyes as he takes a sip of his coffee.

Seriously, these two are a riot, and despite their constant back-and-forth, it’s obvious they adore each other… and that bickering is their love language.

“I’m so happy you two came over.” I reach for another cake pop, this one a glossy caramel color. “How did you two meet? Was it in some kind of goose-tending class?” They both chuckle.

“Nooo,” Stefan draws out. “We met at a drag club fifteen years ago. We’re both queens.” He lifts a perfectly arched eyebrow, as if waiting for judgment, but he’s not going to find it here.

I squeal. “Oh, I love drag shows. I used to go with my friend Artie all the time in New York.” Resting my elbow on my thigh, I prop my chin in my hand and look at my new neighbors with an assessing gaze. “Who do you two portray?”

“Uh-uh-uh,” Stefan says, waggling one long finger at me. “That’s top secret information. You’ll just have to come to a show and find out for yourself.”

I cover my lips with my fingertips. “Seriously? You wouldn’t mind? I promise I’m not a rude looky-loo or anything. I just really enjoy all the glam of the shows.”

Lukas laughs. “We’d be honored. The club is shut down right now for renovations, but it should be open again in a couple months.” They give me the date, and I make a mental note of it.

“We can get you two tickets to the grand reopening so you can bring a date or a friend if you want,” Stefan offers.

“I’m new in town, so I don’t really—Oh, I’ll see if my friend Shay wants to come. I met her at a conference recently, and I’ve only gotten to see her once since I’ve been in Houston because she cares for her mother. She could probably use a night on the town.”

As we chat for another fifteen minutes, Pookie continues to sleep in Stefan’s lap, occasionally emitting small honks on his exhales. The men take turns petting his back.

“We’ll let you get back to your evening,” Lukas tells me, pushing to his feet and taking the goose so Stefan can stand. “Would you feel comfortable exchanging phone numbers? In case you ever need anything.”

“Of course,” I reply.

“Just don’t call too early unless it’s an emergency because Sir PooPoo is not a morning goose,” he advises.

We exchange numbers, and Stefan shoots me a sly grin as he hands back my phone. “I probably should have warned you ahead of time, but Lukas likes to send GIFs.” He quirks an eyebrow. “Incessantly.”

“GIFs are the greatest creation since fried pickles,” his partner retorts as I walk them toward the door.

Stefan wasn’t joking. By the time I get the dishwasher loaded with our coffee mugs, I have eight GIFs from Lukas’s number, the last one being one of a cartoon goose with wide eyes and the word flabbergoosted emblazoned across it.

I laugh and reply with a breakdancing goose. Switching to my contacts list, I find Shay Martin’s number and give her a call.

“Nicolette, hi!” she answers.

“Hey, how’s your mom?” Her mother was hospitalized last week.

“So much better,” she gushes. “She was referred to an endocrinologist, and I really like her. She changed up some of Mama’s medicines, and her sugar is really coming under control.”

“Good, I’m so happy for her. And you.”

She lowers her voice. “I was getting concerned that I was going to have to cancel the cruise I’m surprising her with for her birthday, but Dr. Kumar said if Mama keeps progressing like this, it should be safe to go.”

“When is your cruise?”

“Mmm, let’s see. This is July, so…”

Disappointment courses through me when she lists the same weekend in September I have tickets to Stefan and Lukas’s show. “Aw, okay. I just met my neighbors, and they’re drag queens. They’re getting me two tickets to the grand reopening of their club, but it’s the same week you’ll be gone.”

“Crap, that sounds like a good time. Can we go another time? I know it won’t be the grand opening, but I’d still like to go.”

“Sure. That sounds good.”

“I hate for you to go by yourself. Do you want me to set you up with someone for a date?”

I huff out a laugh. “No, that’s okay. I don’t mind going solo.”

Once we hang up, I fill my floral Stanley cup with iced water and take a long drink, trying to think of someone else who could go with me. Grace from the microbiology lab might want to come.

And if not, I meant what I said to Shay. I don’t mind going by myself.

After all, I’ve been doing things alone most of my life.