Page 6
Natasa
I’m sick. So fucking sick I can barely hold my head up. Rick has been by my side, and we’ve been staying at the local shelter. I’ve been working a little at a small grocery store to save a little money, but I haven’t been able to work in the last month due to being sick. It’s horrible. I can’t eat, can’t drink.
“I think you should go to the hospital,” Rick urges as I heave into a bucket. Nothing comes out because nothing has gone in.
“Can’t afford it,” I tell him as I hug the bucket in my arms.
“Nat, you look horrible. You’ve lost more weight. This isn’t good.”
“I’ll be okay,” I reassure him. He sighs and stands to his feet, walking away from me. I know he’s trying. I know he’s been trying to help me, and I appreciate that more than he knows.
I slowly lie back down on the cot and close my eyes, hoping this will pass soon. I must fall asleep, and that’s what I need. I need rest, but then I hear him.
“Where the hell is she?” The growl thunders through the room as I pry my eyes open. I turn my head to see Gunner storming toward me with the look of a madman on his face. I start to sit up, but I feel too dizzy, so I lay back down.
“She’s right here,” I hear Rick tell him. What the hell? Did he call him?
“A month. Nat. It’s been a fuckin’ month!” He yells louder the closer he gets to me. He looks down at me on the cot, and I have nothing to say. I’ve been too sick to go back and see him. I open my mouth, but I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing.
“You look like shit.”
“I know.”
“Let’s go.” He leans down and scoops me into his arms. I don’t have a chance to protest as he lifts me off the cot and cradles me to his chest.
“Put me down,” I order him weakly.
“No. You’re goin’ to the hospital. You’ve lost weight, Nat. This isn’t healthy.”
“I’m sick to my stomach all the time, Gunner. I’ll be fine.” I am so far in denial I almost convinced myself.
“No, you won’t. There’s nothin’ left of you. Don’t argue with me on this.”
“I don’t need to go.” I argue as he turns and walks toward the door.
“I said don’t fuckin’ argue with me, Nat. You’re goin’, and I don’t give a shit what you say.”
“That’s right! Tell her who’s boss!” Rick chimes in.
“You’ll come?”
“No. I’ll stay with our stuff. Gunner will take care of you.” I nod my head as Gunner carries me outside and straight to a truck. He opens the door and sets me inside before buckling me in and rounding to the driver’s side.
“I can’t believe you’d lay there like this, Nat. What the hell were you thinkin’?”
“That I’d be okay after a while.”
“You’re pregnant, for fuck’s sake. You think the baby doesn’t need nourishment? That you don’t need them? You look terrible.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t start that. Don’t start sayin’ you’re sorry. You could have come to me.”
“I can’t afford this,” I whisper.
“Didn’t ask that. You should have come to me.”
“And said what? I’m sick? Isn’t that part of being pregnant?” I ask him. He glances over at me and shakes his head.
“It is, but not like this, Nat. I mean it, you look bad. You’ve lost weight, and you didn’t have any to lose.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means you were too damn skinny before.”
“Now you have a problem with my body?” I snap.
“Yeah, I do. You’re too damn skinny, Nat. It isn’t healthy.”
“You didn’t care when you were fucking me,” I yell at him. He exhales slowly and shakes his head once more. I know this is frustrating him, and I can’t help it. He didn’t complain before. Why now?
“You look sick, Nat. Not healthy. That’s all I’m sayin’.” His tone has calmed as he pulls into the hospital parking lot and parks the truck. He comes around to my side and helps me out, wrapping his arm around me before lifting me off the ground.
“I can walk.”
“Or I can carry you. I’d prefer this,” he says as he carries me inside. He sets me in a chair as he walks over and checks me in. It doesn’t take long for a man in a white coat to come out and greet him. He must know the doctor here. Gunner smiles, and it takes my breath away. I watch him, the way he interacts with the doctor and I can tell they know each other. Then he turns his head and looks at me, nodding in my direction. The doctor says something, and then Gunner walks back toward me, scooping me up out of the chair.
“Let me walk. This is embarrassing.”
“Less embarrassin’ than me spankin’ your ass in front of everyone for lettin’ it get this far.”
“What?”
“You heard me. If you weren’t this sick, I would bend that pretty little ass of yours over and spank it until it’s raw.” He follows the doctor as my cheeks turn pink. I can feel the heat in them. I can’t believe he just said that to me.
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not.” He doesn’t say anything else before stepping into a room and laying me on the bed.
“We’re going to do some labs, an ultrasound and start some fluids to begin with,” the doctor announces. I still can’t believe what Gunner said as I watch him intently. “I’ll give you something for the nausea too.” I absentmindedly nod my head as he talks, but I’m stuck on Gunner.
“Thanks, Fred. I appreciate this.”
“No problem, Gunner. You were right; she looks like hell.” The doctor adds before leaving the room. Gunner shifts from foot to foot before pacing around the room.
“Are we not going to talk about that comment?”
“What about it?”
“You can’t just say things like that.”
“Why not? I meant every word of it.”
“Why?” Now, he turns to face me, and I can see he isn’t joking.
“Why not, Nat? I like you.”
“The age thing doesn’t bother you?”
“Yeah, it does. Which is why I haven’t touched you again.”
“But I’m already pregnant, Gunner.”
“I know that, too.”
“This makes no sense.”
“Do I like you? Yeah, I do. Did I have a good time? Yeah, I did. Would I do it again? Probably, if things were different.”
“What the hell does that mean? If things were different?”
“I got you pregnant, Nat.”
“No shit.”
“Does it bother you? That I’m old enough to be your dad?”
“Never really thought about it like that.”
“Exactly.”
“So you don’t want to get to know me?” I ask, wondering what he wants to do in this situation.
“You’re havin’ my kid, Nat. Of course, I do.”
“And if I wasn’t?”
“We probably wouldn’t be here.”
“Damn. Okay. I get it.” Gunner moves quickly, coming to stand next to the bed and grabbing the back of my neck in his hand. He pulls my face closer to his so he can make his point.
“You don’t get it. Would I love to bend you over this bed right now and fuck you senseless? Yeah, Nat, I would. That was some of the best pussy I’ve ever had. I enjoyed every second of bein’ inside you.”
“What does that mean?” I almost whine confused by what this means.
“It means I would fuck you again, over and over. I would make you scream my name with you in my bed every night.”
“But you won’t.” He leans in, touching his lips to mine, and I nearly lose my breath. I let him keep kissing me and I get lost in him. His taste, the feel of him. Everything about him blows me away. But then he pulls back.
“This is complicated.”
“Because we don’t know each other,” I whisper.
“You’re young. You don’t know what you want out of life, Nat.”
“I want to be happy, Gunner. That’s it.”
“And you think I can make you happy?” he asks. We don’t know each other. I don’t know shit about him besides he’s older than me and has two kids.
“We don’t know each other.”
“And that’s the problem, isn’t it?”
“I guess it is.”
“Listen. Do I want to know you? Yeah, I do. You’re havin’ my baby, Nat. That’s reason enough to get to know you. If somethin’ more comes out this? We let it, yeah?”
“My age …” I trail off.
“Is a number. Am I a little fucked up over it? Yeah, I am. Just give me some time, yeah?” I nod my head because I have no fucking idea what else to do.