Page 4

Pippa

I could hear Gunnar arguing with the men outside. It sounded like they were pissed as shit, but I couldn’t make out much of it because my ears were ringing and the room was spinning. “Why did I have to experience my first time being high like this?” I had no idea who I was talking to or even if anyone was there.

“Not to worry, dear.” An older woman with steel-gray hair and piercing blue eyes leaned over me and gave me a kind smile. “I’m sure there will be other, more enjoyable times to explore.”

“No, there won’t.” I was emphatic, shaking my head, which only made the disorientation worse. “I’d never be able to afford the amount of drugs it took to get me this high.”

She handed me a bottle of water. “Drink up child. The more fluids you get in you, the better you’ll feel.”

She was right. I was thirsty as shit so I took a long pull, savoring the cool liquid sliding down my throat like I hadn’t been able to before. In the Humvee I’d been hurt, scared, and more than a little nauseous. I know I managed to drink some, but not nearly enough. Now that I’d had a moment to register just how delicious it was, I gulped down several more swallows. Mama helped me undress, making sure to always keep me covered. I swear, the woman was a saint. Gunnar had put clean clothes on me when he’d found me, so my clothes weren’t soiled enough they needed to be thrown out. It was more the thought of what they represented. Mama tossed the garments in the trash and tied the bag shut without a word.

“The night they took me, I was at a party for a friend’s birthday.” I wasn’t sure why I was telling Mama this, but I wanted to get it out now for some reason. “We’d all gone to a local bar and I snuck in. Since I hadn’t planned on ordering myself anything other than water or soda, I figured I’d be OK as long as I stayed away from anyone who might check an I.D. after I got in. A guy struck up a conversation with me and handed me a drink. Obviously, those were my first and second mistakes all rolled into one.”

Mama raised an eyebrow at me. “Which were?”

“First, I’m not old enough to drink and had never drunk before. I thought I was prepared but I grossly underestimated the atmosphere. The first time, in a bar, by myself, was not the place to experiment with alcohol, but I liked the guy and wanted to fit in. My second mistake was also because I’m not old enough to drink and I had to rely on someone else to purchase my drinks. Which meant accepting something intentionally mind-altering from a man I didn’t know, that I couldn’t verify hadn’t been laced with something.”

She stared at me for several seconds before I spoke. “That’s a bunch of lessons.”

I huffed out a breath. “You know what I mean!”

“Of course, I do. So he did drug you.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You… don’t know?”

“We were at that bar for hours. He kept ordering me drinks and I kept accepting them. We laughed and flirted. I’d indicated I’d be interested in sex, but he hadn’t taken the step to take me outside. Probably because I was nowhere near drunk.

“After a while, he got agitated. I thought he was mad at me and told him I thought it was best if I leave, but he smiled and said he’d had a stressful day at work. He did a double shot of whisky and soon after was back to his charming self. Anytime I thought he was going to lose his temper, he’d take another drink.

“I caught him stirring my drink with his finger once. He said they’d shorted me on the alcohol, and he’d topped my glass off with some of his and was mixing it so it would blend properly. Again, I should have been suspicious, but I was having fun. It was the first time I’d ever been to something like that party and I wanted to experience all the moment had to offer.”

“You’re too reckless with your own life, sweetheart. You need someone to have your back.” Mama sat on the edge of my bed and took my hand in hers. “What happened then?”

“We just… kept drinking. He was matching me drink for drink after a while. After he’d touched my drink before, I watched him closely. I knew I wasn’t going to get drunk, judging by the fact this guy was about to fall off the barstool and I was starting to seriously believe I’d been drinking the foulest tasting water known to man. Because I’ve decided I’m seriously not a fan of whisky. It burns. And I still wasn’t drunk.”

“I think I see what you mean. You said this was the night they took you. How did they get you out of that bar and to their compound?”

“Three more guys approached us after that. I got up to pretend to go to the bathroom so I could bolt, but two of the men dragged the first guy off while the biggest of the three clamped a hand over my mouth and pulled me around the corner of the bar and out the back, then one of them hit me in the head and knocked me silly long enough to get me inside their van.

“They shot me up with more drugs in the back of a van on the way to the place Gunnar found me. I kept fighting and they kept shooting me up. It took them five tries before I was finally incapacitated. I heard them complain while they held me in that place how keeping me drugged was going to seriously eat into their profits if they had to hold on to me long.”

Mama looked equal parts pissed as shit and slightly amused. “Impressive. Did they keep you drugged the whole time you were there?”

I shook my head. “I don’t think they could have. Every time they drugged me, the more it took to put me under. At some point, I’m sure I’m going to withdraw from whatever they gave me. At least, I guess that’s how it works. I don’t feel the need to have more, and I’m really glad the fog is lifting. The conversation with you helped to brush back some cobwebs.”

“Good. Now. Let’s see if we can get the worst of the grime off you before putting clean clothes on.” She had a basin of warm, soapy water and a couple of washcloths. She took one and I took the other. I worked on my front while Mama was behind me working on my back. She let me do what I could, but I was still really weak, and in the end she had to help me finish. Once done, she brought me some soft cotton shorts and a T-shirt, along with an unopened pack of underwear. “Let’s get you dressed, then we can check on the boys before they start World War Three in my lobby.”

The voices of the men outside the door got louder. I recognized Gunnar’s voice, even though I hadn’t had a real conversation with him. I doubt I’d ever forget his voice.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake.” Exasperated, Mama stomped to the door and yanked it open. “What the fuck is going on out here?” She closed the door firmly behind her.

I sat up, turning to let my legs hang over the side of the small bed. My head still had a few cobwebs but the conversation with Mama had helped. Other than kind of being sick to my stomach, I didn’t hurt anywhere else. Though, I was pretty sure I looked terrible and smelled like shit. I thought it funny that I felt safe enough to worry about my appearance and personal hygiene given everything I’d gone through.

Of all the people I expected to make any kind of appearance in my life, Knuckles hadn’t been on the Bingo card. Of course, my mother had told me about him, and I’d be lying if I said even the thought of Knuckles didn’t terrify me, but given the circumstances, if he’d sent Gunnar to rescue me, then I’d trust him and Gunnar until they proved to be untrustworthy.

Besides, I was fairly certain Knuckles would do whatever he had to, to get me to safety. He’d told me once he’d always watch over me. Now, I knew exactly which parent I could trust to have my back. But only Gunnar and Knuckles. Everyone else could kiss my ass and lick the hole. Even Mama. She projected nothing but calm and reassurance, but it wasn’t hard to see there was something dangerous about her. Even though she had to be in her seventies, she wore a tank top that showed her arms and a flash of midriff when she moved. Sure, her skin was aging and not as tight as a younger woman’s, but Mama was more fit than most women less than half her age. She was definitely not someone I wanted to underestimate.

Mama opened the door, tugging Gunnar with her by his upper arm. “Inside, Gunnar. Go sit with your woman.” OK, that tone of voice from Mama was new. She’d seemed like the soft-spoken grandma type. Not so much now. She gave a little shake of her head. “Hard-headed bastards. All of ‘em.” She fixed her gaze on me and pursed her lips. “I’m sorry, Pippa. We’re not usually so unwelcoming to newcomers. Especially when they come to us with one of our own.” Her tone was back to being gentle and sweet, but now that I’d seen that small peek of who this woman really was, I couldn’t unsee it.

“I don’t want to cause problems. Especially not with family.” I wanted to look at Gunnar, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. If I saw regret or condemnation in his eyes, it might well be my undoing. And I really had no idea why I’d latched on to this man. Because, logically, I knew it was the idea he represented. The black knight on a white steed. The bad guy tempered with the smallest bit of good. A man who could keep me from ever getting kidnapped again, and who would punish those who took me in the first place. That was Gunnar. I knew I could trust him, no matter what.

“Trust me when I tell you, Pippa, my dear, none of this is your fault. It’s this one refusing to let his family help him when he was little more than a child, and those knuckleheads out there for being knuckleheads.” Her dry tone was the perfect reflection of the look she leveled on Gunnar. “Now. Here’s what’s going to happen.”

“Uh-oh.” Gunnar dropped his head. “Here it comes.”

“Excuse me, young man?” If there was ever the stereotypical image of a cross Catholic nun, Mama looked every inch of her. Well, except for the tank top displaying toned, leathered skin, the thick, steel-gray hair in a long braid down her back, the leather pants and motorcycle boots. But hey! The pants were black and the top white. Same colors.

Gunnar raised his hands in surrender. “Nothin’, Mama. Nothin’ at all. Please continue.”

Mama let her disapproving stare linger on Gunnar until he lowered his gaze in surrender. “Pippa.” When she turned her focus back to me, her gaze was once again warm and welcoming. The sweet little granny about to impart the most insightful advice imaginable. “You go take a shower and clean up. I’ll help with your hair when you get out. We’ll get you feeling more like yourself in no time.”

Gunnar sighed heavily. “Mama --”

“No arguments, Gunnar. This is happening.”

“You know why I want to get us out of here.”

“I do. And it’s time you sucked it up and told your father and mother what happened. Not for yourself, but for Hannah. She isn’t the type to keep anything from Cain and Angel and her guilt has been eating her alive for fifteen years. And not just because she didn’t tell them what happened. She stabbed a man to death. Sure, he was trying to rape her, but she took his life. Up close and personal. Because you told her not to say a word, she felt like she owed you whatever you asked of her. Hannah’s kept everything bottled up inside. She’s going to destroy herself. I know you tried to take all the blame and the punishment, but she lost the same fifteen years of her life as you did.”

Gunnar grunted like she’d struck him, and I immediately reached for Gunnar’s hand. “Please don’t be mean to him. I don’t think he’s a bad person. I don’t believe you think he is either.”

Mama gave me an impatient glare. “Of course, he’s not a bad person. He confessed to murdering his sister’s boyfriend because he said the guy had threatened to hurt Hannah. The fact was, Hannah had killed the bastard when he tried to rape her. She had a knife her father and brothers insisted she keep on her. When things got rough, she stabbed the bastard in the kidney. Gunnar took the rap so nothing would touch his sister and, in the process, cut his parents out of the decision-making process and pled guilty. Those, my dear, are not the actions of a bad person. Maybe someone a little shy in the brains department, but not a bad person at all.”

There was a soft gasp, and I noticed a striking, petite woman with soft brown hair streaked with silver. She looked to be in her early- to mid-fifties. At first, I thought I must look worse than I thought, but she wasn’t looking at me. She was staring at Gunnar with a heartbreaking mixture of shock, pain, grief, and love.

“Mom, this isn’t a good idea.” Ice tried to grab his mother’s arm. Cyclone was right behind them. Both men glanced at Mama, who leveled her gaze on them like the strictest teacher known to man. “Gunnar and, uh, his, uh, friend there, will be out in a minute.”

The woman shoved herself away from her sons and moved toward Gunnar in a daze. “You’re home?”

“Yeah, Mom. I’m home.”

She lunged for Gunnar, throwing her arms around him and sobbing like her heart was breaking. I knew she’d heard what Mama had said, but she didn’t comment on it. I was pretty sure that would come later.

Mama moved to my side and put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed. She gave me an encouraging look but said nothing until Gunnar’s mother finally pulled back to look at her son. She framed his face in her hands and stroked his face like he was the most precious thing in her world.

“Angel?” When Gunnar’s mother looked back at Mama, she continued. “This is Pippa. Gunnar rescued her from a rival club at the request of his cellmate.”

Angel gasped before her gaze darted to me. “Oh, no. Are you hurt, Pippa? How can I help?”

“I…” I had no idea what to say. Was I hurt? Maybe not physically, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever be the same person I was before I was taken. The more people I didn’t know surrounded me, the more anxious I was. “I’m fine.”

“Mom, I promise I’ll sit down and talk to you later, but I’m taking Pippa to Nashville. Torpedo and Bohannon have agreed to take me in at Kiss of Death.”

“You’re not staying here?” Angel looked from Gunnar to me and back. “There’s no reason you both can’t stay.” She looked at me, taking a step toward me as if pleading for me to tell Gunnar to stay with his family. “I might be able to help you. You know. Talk. Me and Suzie both were taken by a member of Kiss of Death before Cain and Torpedo decided to take it over. That was years ago. But I know how terrified and helpless I felt before I escaped.”

I gasped before turning to look at Gunnar for some context because Kiss of Death sounded like the kind of place I wanted to avoid at all costs. He shrugged. “The men who were responsible for takin’ women and children are dead. The club was purged. Torpedo and Bohannon kept the name because it was established in the area already. Despite being run by murderers and pedophiles, Cain said their reputation for doing business was impeccable. Besides, apparently having it known that Bones cleaned the scourge that was Kiss of Death without a trace left helps keep rival MCs and local gangs in line.”

Then Gunnar gave Cyclone a hard look. “And there is a reason we can’t stay, Mom. I’ll be in touch, and you’ll know where I am. I already texted you my new number, but I’ll do it again in case you missed it or didn’t recognize the number and ignored it.”

It was obvious Gunnar was doing his best to remain calm around his mother. It was also obvious how much he was hurting with every second he was in her presence. Angel seemed like a good person and was super concerned about Gunnar, but if she’d made him feel like he was an embarrassment to her because he’d been in prison, I might have to hurt her. No matter how much Gunnar loved her, I wasn’t about to watch the man who’d risked his life to get me out of hell, then saw to my safety be degraded or belittled.

“I’ve not even had a chance to talk to you. Surely you can stay tonight.” Again, she smiled in my direction. “Besides, you haven’t had the chance to introduce me to Pippa.” Angel’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and I softened toward the other woman. Yeah, there was no need to worry Angel thought her son less somehow for what he’d done and gone through. This was a woman who was just grateful to have her son back.

Gunnar pulled his mother into his arms and held her tight. “I’ve missed you, Mom. I’m sorry about what happened.”

“Is what Mama said true? Did you take the blame for that bastard’s death?” Angel didn’t let go of her son or insist on looking him in the eyes when she asked. It was almost like she didn’t really want to know. I could imagine it, because it sounded like Gunnar’s sister was carrying a boatload of guilt.

“Does it matter, Mom? I mean, really matter? I’m out. I’m OK. Now, I’m trying to be the kind of man Dad always expected me to be.”

“Honey, you are the man your dad wanted you to be and have been for a long time. Since before you went to prison. What you did was something your dad would have done. If he tries to tell you how he’d have been smart and asked for help, he’s lying.” Angel finally pulled back and smiled at her son, laying her hand on his cheek again. “When I came to see you a few weeks ago, and they told me you weren’t there, I was scared out of my mind.” She took in a shuddering breath. “Especially since the last time I saw you, we fought.”

Gunnar sighed. “I wasn’t angry at you, Mom. I was worried about Hannah and took out my fear and frustration on you. Every week you came to visit, you asked me to tell you what happened. Without exception. Every week for fifteen years. I’d have been worried if you hadn’t asked.” He glanced away. “It would have felt like you’d given up on me.”

“I’ve missed you so much, honey. I know Hannah didn’t come often, but I see now she felt guilty. I could see it in her every day and thought it was because she looked at it as you going to jail because she ratted out that bastard. Now, I know why.”

“Is she with you?”

“Yes. She’s probably standing outside the door wringing her hands. It’s what she’s done since she found out you were out of prison. Each day that passed without us hearing from you, the more she withdrew from us.”

Gunnar gave me a helpless look, like he didn’t know what to do, when I’d bet my life this man was never indecisive.

“Go hug your sister,” I said softly. “Sounds like you both got shit on, and she’s hurting just as badly as you are.”

He hesitated but reached over to squeeze my hand. “I won’t be long.”

“No. You need to spend some time with your mother and sister. You need this. Sounds like they do too.”

“How about we compromise.” Gunnar stepped closer to me, holding my hand in both of his. “You take a bath and clean up. Take as much time as you want. Lay down and sleep the rest of that drug off. I’ll come get you in a couple of hours and we’ll head south.”

“They said your dad was out of the country or something, earlier? Did I hear that?”

“Yeah. He’s on his way back now, but it’s a long-ass flight.”

“I think you really might be avoiding your father.” I kept my expression as blank as I could until Mama barked out a laugh before clapping a hand over her face. Then Angel and Mama both started laughing and I couldn’t help but smile.

Gunnar shook his head, but he was grinning. “Wait until you meet my dad. You’ll understand.”