Page 88 of Guiding Desire

(Coldis’s school notes, his private drive.)

TheJudiciarymadeOrreyfeel sorry for himself even though he knew he had absolutely no reason to. They were on the second floor though, and he’d taken his oath here. It had been a year ago, and only one corridor down from the courtroom they’d just been in.

Orrey had sworn to uphold the laws that safeguarded the city and the people in it that day.In a way, I’m doing that. Custody-ship is a fundamental part of the law.

Orrey zoned out to think about that while Senlas and Zimnil chatted, if it could be called that. Senlas wasn’t much one for pleasantries, and Zimnil didn’t really seem to mind.

They were back on their way to Orrey’s parents not that long after as a result, the auto-drive silent as Orrey considered what he should be doing with himself now, what things, besides channeling, he should be learning in order to fit in with the Guardians and Conduits, in order not to stick out like a crooked solar panel when he moved around on the Grounds. A crooked and badly dressed solar panel.

“Kitten, if it’s all right with you, can I kiss you?”

Orrey looked up. “Huh?”

“I’d like to kiss you. And hold you close.”

Senlas’s bright eyes were focused on Orrey. He’d taken the seat next to Orrey, not the one across from him like before, and Orrey hadn’t really been paying attention.

“Oh. Of course.”

Senlas chuckled. “All right then.”

The Guardian’s arms wrapped around Orrey, circling his waist while Senlas’s other hand came to rest on Orrey’s neck, almost as if Senlas wanted to keep his Conduit in place.

Any initial awkwardness Orrey felt dissipated the moment his mouth opened for Senlas, near involuntarily. The Guardian barely even took that opportunity, keeping his attentions sweet, almost innocent.

For all that, it was even more seductive.

“Is that what all the Guardian chasers want?” Orrey said when he drew back to take a breath.

“Couldn’t tell you. Not my type.” Senlas was undeterred and found a spot at Orrey’s throat to nibble. “You’re my type. I don’t like that all that upset you, kitten.”

It took Orrey a moment to understand what Senlas had meant. “The Judiciary?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry if—custody-ship takes getting used to. I will get used to it.”

“The idea behind it is to make sure you’re protected and kept safe. I’ll do that.”

Another string of kisses followed, and Orrey thought,I was safe before and didn’t need a Guardian to keep me so.

He tamped down that thought. It wasn’t helpful. There were more important things that should have occupied his mind.

“You didn’t like when I asked about seeing that insurrectionist.”

Senlas didn’t say anything right away, but Orrey felt warmth spread from his touch. It came into him, a small drizzle. Senlas placed another, even softer kiss against Orrey’s neck.

“I didn’t.”

“I just thought, what if they knew? About the people outside the walls? And maybe they are in contact?”

“Unlikely.”

“But how can you be so sure? What if people from outside simply want to come inside? And the insurrectionists are fighting for that?”

Senlas drew back but pulled Orrey close so they were touching. His fingers sought skin, dipping underneath the hem of Orrey’s shirt and entwining with his fingers.

“They’re not. Insurrectionists don’t like the special status of Guardians and Conduits. You know that. You know that’s why they attack businesses associated with us and Conduits if they can. Outsiders don’t really care. They think we’re stupid and greedy for hiding in cities like we are. Both cultivate hatred, but it’s two very different flavors of hatred.”