Page 43 of Grumpmas

I bet this was the reason parents locked themselves in the bathroom.

I swung the door open. Faith had her hand raised to knock again.Fuck.This kid was persistent.

I wanted to yell at Faith out of anger. To make her cry, so she’d go away and leave me alone to fucking get through this in one piece. Every nerve in me screamed to lose my ever-loving shit, but I couldn’t do it with her staring up at me with puppy-dog eyes.

Faith asked. “Could you help me set the table for dinnertime?”

I heaved a sigh. “Sure.”

Faith thrust paper plates at me with a huge smile and ran off. My goddamn heart did a twirl. A fucking loop de loop like on a rollercoaster ride I never thought would end. A thrill of a lifetime all over a little girl’s smile.

“I’ll get the cups!” Faith shouted as she rounded a corner and headed for the kitchen.

Little Elle caught my eye as she cracked a gorgeous smile, and, fuck, did she make my heart race. Those lips made my knees weak, ready to collapse onto my kneecaps and beg her to spread those pretty thighs for me because I could taste her again.

The doorbell rang, interrupting my thoughts.

I tore my eyes away from Elle, dropped the plates on a nearby table, and headed for the front door with a boner. As uncomfortable as it was, I opened the door to the bitter cold and a delivery boy with two pizza boxes. He smiled up at me with big buck teeth and braces.

He announced, “I have a pizza delivery for Ms. Evergreen?”

“Yeah. How much is it?” I pulled out my wallet.

“Twenty-five fifty,” he answered as he peered down at the wad of bills in my hand, and he tried to glance past me. “Is Ms. Evergreen inside?”

“What’s it to ya, kid?” I tilted my head to the side.

“Well... Ah... You see...” He gulped nervously. “I have to make sure I deliver to the right house. I’m new at this job, and I don’t want my boss to fire me.”

I reached for the cardboard pizza boxes, yanked them out of his hands, and pushed two fifty-dollar bills into his chest.

He stared down at the cash in surprise.

“You got the correct house, kiddo.” I winked at him. “Keep the change.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Yeah. I’m positive. She’s my wife.Mrs. Timbermade a mistake. Not Evergreen,” I answered as I went to shut the door.

“Oh, no, sir...” He pushed his face up near the crack of the door. “I meant, are you sure you don’t want the—”

I slammed the door in his face.

Fuck. Damn teenagers these days. They can’t learn to listen the first time you tell them something.

I heaved a sigh and turned around to find little Elle behind me. Her hands were on her hips, head tilted to the side, and she peered at me like she knew everything.Crap.I was in deep shit.

Elle had heard me call hermy wife.

TWENTY

Pineapple Predicament

Jack

“What the fuck, Timber?” Elle glared at me with a laser-beam stare. “This is my house, remember?”

“So?” I grumbled with a shrug. “Sue me.”