Page 19 of Griffin (Stone Brothers #5)

EIGHTEEN

SHAY

I double checked my makeup. I'd decided to spruce up with a touch more mascara and lipstick than usual.

I rarely wore makeup because I was content just blending into my surroundings.

I preferred invisibility to being seen or admired.

I especially didn't want to be seen by my husband.

The more I could erase myself in front of him the better.

But with Griffin, I wanted to be seen. I wanted him to look.

A blush warmed my face as I thought about the way he'd looked at me standing naked in his bedroom.

His appreciative gaze felt like a warm caress, and I felt sexy for the first time since I could remember.

I'd gotten home late but still managed to wake up early.

I was dying to stretch and dance again. My muscles were tight and sore, but I knew the best thing for them was to do the whole damn thing again.

It would take some time, but if I kept up the practice, eventually my muscles would strengthen.

I already felt way better during this morning's practice.

I'd even looked up the dance school that Jules told me about.

There was an adult group that met every Wednesday and Saturday.

It would be a dream to get back to an instructor and to hang out with other dancers again, but I still had a huge, ugly obstacle in my way.

It wasn't going to be easy getting rid of that obstacle.

I was going to put my other life behind me for now.

This was the half-life I lived for, and I wouldn't let Tate cast any shadows over it.

He hadn't texted yesterday when he stopped for the night.

He did that less now, and I never texted him.

He could have stopped off in Area 51 and been abducted by aliens, for all I cared.

If only that would happen, then all my problems would be solved.

I got in the car for the drive toward the coast. A layer of clouds and thin, drizzly fog had moved in to make the day dreary, only nothing could dampen my spirits. I couldn't wait to see Griffin.

The fog got heavier the closer I got to the beach. The old house, the Shack, as they called it, looked a little less stable and decidedly more decrepit standing in the milky fog. Griffin came out to the car.

"I'm not trying to be rude by not inviting you in, but it's too damn embarrassing in that house right now. Let me just say, my roommates are pigs, and there is egg on the kitchen window."

I realized I loved the way he smelled, a mix of soap and general manliness.

Tate wore a terrible smelling aftershave, or maybe my brain told me it smelled terrible because he was wearing it.

All I knew was whenever I passed another man somewhere in public wearing the same scent, I felt instantly nauseous.

It was a physical reaction triggered by a mental one.

Griffin leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. "Hmm, less salty but I like it. The kitchen was too gross to even consider starting a pot of coffee, so thank you for asking me out on a coffee date."

"Pleasure is all mine, Mr. Stone. Do you mind if we drive back toward my place? There's a great coffee shop right around the corner, and they make these very decadent blueberry muffins. Complete with crumble topping."

"I never say no to crumble topping."

I drove back the way I came. An awkward silence filled the space between us.

My mind had been racing all night and morning with questions like, what the hell am I doing starting up with a man when I haven't shed the snakeskin of a man I'm married to?

It was an emotional explosion I didn't need right now, but I was already so taken with the man sitting next to me, I didn't want to let him go.

"What about at work?" I blurted in a clumsily loud voice. "I can't lose my job." Especially now when I was working on building my courage to leave Tate. I needed that job more than ever.

"I'll handle it," Griffin said.

"I think we need to keep this all undercover." I looked over at him. "I'm still married, and I don't want your dad to lose confidence in me. I don't want him to think that I'm just sitting around staring starry-eyed out the window, hoping to catch a glimpse of my favorite construction worker."

"See, now I wouldn't mind that at all, but I get your point.

I'd love to say we can keep it secret except there were a few people, family members, prominent family members, including my sister, who already saw us together last night and, unfortunately, secrets spread like wildfire in the Stone family.

And Jules and my mom are like sisters. They share everything, so I can guarantee my mom already knows the secret, which means Dad does too.

I'll talk to him. He'll probably chew my head off, but I can handle it. "

Griffin was working hard to smooth out my worry, but he only made it worse. "I shouldn't have gone to that party last night. What was I thinking? I was so glad to get this job and now I've risked everything."

"Hey, Shay, really, it will be all right. Dad thinks you're awesome. I'll talk to him. It'll be fine. I promise."

I nodded but wasn't entirely convinced. Or maybe I was having other doubts because I'd just jumped into something with both feet, something that was probably the last thing I needed. And I had no doubt that Griffin had the power to break my heart in two, another thing I didn't need.

"Maybe we should, maybe we should take a step back from this," I said.

"At least until I sort out my sordid married life.

I'm not sure I can handle this right now.

" The miserable, sniveling wimpy side of my personality, the one that Tate helped create was showing.

I wouldn't have to worry about taking a step back because surely Griffin would be running for the hills after this scene.

"Hey, ballerina, I don't have a single regret about any of this.

I'll wait for you to sort out your life if that's what you want.

I'm here if you need help with that, and at the same time, I'll stay clear so you can do things your way.

But if you don't want me to be part of your life, I get it.

It'll hurt like hell to walk away from this cuz I've already got it pretty solid in my heart and mind that I want to be with you, Shay. "

I dragged my eyes from the road and looked at him.

God, he was breathtaking, and he wanted to be a part of my life.

That seemed so fucking impossible. I barely wanted to be a part of my life, and I was stuck in the middle of it.

"I don't think I could survive heartbreak from someone like you. " I turned my focus back to the road.

"Not something you'll need to worry about. I won't break it."

I smiled weakly. "Jeez, that Stone confidence. They ought to bottle the stuff."

"It's true we are a cocky bunch of bastards, but—" He touched my arm.

"But I'm telling the truth, Shay. I'd never do anything to hurt you.

You've survived some bad shit, but if I've learned nothing else from my parents, you can come out of the bad shit.

You just need the right person on the other end to help you fly.

And since you already know how to fly without wings, I'll just be there to catch you in case you fall. "

I laughed. "You are quite the poet this morning, sir."

"And all without a drop of coffee. I'm rather proud of that little speech. Seriously, Shay, I'm here. Not going anywhere. That's all I'm going to say."

A lump formed in my throat. I'd felt so alone for so long it was hard for me to believe that someone else cared enough to support me. "Thanks, Fin." They were the only words I could choke out.

We reached the coffee shop. It was Sunday, and the line was out the door.

"Shoot, I hadn't taken into consideration the whole Sunday morning part of this date," I said.

I looked at him. "We could wait in that long line and then wait inside again for our coffee orders to come up and then wait around like a couple of dweebs hovering around the tables waiting for someone to get up so we can rush to grab their seats and then sit in the midst of the previous customers' muffin crumbs, or I could take you home and fix you a cup of coffee.

And I know for a fact there will be two empty chairs and I wiped the table clean this morning after my frozen waffle.

Sorry, that was a very long way of saying wanna just go to my house and drink my inferior coffee? "

Griffin blinked his long, black lashes at me. "Did you call me a dweeb?"

"No, I would never call a Stone a dweeb. I'd be the dweeb. You'd just be my table hunting partner." I laughed as I turned the car around. "I'm going to take that as a yes to my inferior coffee invite."

I pulled out of the packed parking lot and turned the corner to my road.

A moment of terror shot through me when I suddenly envisioned Tate coming home unexpectedly.

I was sure it wouldn't happen, but the notion of it sent enough adrenaline through me that I was still fretting over the possibility when I pulled into the empty driveway.

"It's not much," I said of the house. It was one of those plain, box-shaped houses with a composite roof and small aluminum windows around the front and back.

Griffin lifted a brow. "Uh, excuse me but did you fail to notice the box of rotting timber you just picked me up from?

I'm just waiting for the county to come in and tell us all to get out before it folds in on itself.

My dad has a meltdown every time he comes by.

He's written some severe letters to the landlord, but the rent is cheap, and we're a bunch of messy assholes, so it suits us just fine. "

"Until it folds up and swallows you all," I noted as we climbed out of the car.

"Nah, it's fine. We just make sure to go easy on the bass whenever we're cranking tunes."