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CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

I wake in an exceptionally good mood, and it’s entirely due to the wonderful man wrapped around me. Or am I wrapped around him? It’s hard to tell.

The temptation is strong to delay travel for a few days so we can stay wrapped around each other, but I have a feeling the stone won’t stand for that. Jaimin probably wouldn’t, either—it’s an irresponsible decision. Not to mention, the loft isn’t completely enclosed, and it would be very awkward for Coryn and Arimen to wait around while we’re… hmm. I’m not even sure that Arimen would understand what we’d be doing.

So, since staying here is out of the question anyway, and I’m sure Coryn is already awake, I may as well give in to the urging of my bladder.

Jaimin stirs, muttering a protest as I extract myself from his hold, and I lean down to press a kiss to his mouth. “Go back to sleep. I need to relieve myself.”

Reluctantly, he lets me go and pulls his blanket tighter around his neck, still not opening his eyes, and I linger for a moment to smile at his face.

I can’t believe this is real. That maybe, possibly, I’m going to be happy with this amazing, perfect man.

Outside, the cold bite of the winter morning wakes me the rest of the way up, and I give my usual thanks to the gods that we’re so far south. Traveling like this in the northern half of the continent at this time of year would be miserable. The cabin has an enclosed privy, which is a luxury I’ve done without for the past few weeks, and it’s nice not to have the wind whistling around my bits as I do my business.

As I start back in the direction of the cabin, the sound of someone speaking in low tones drifts to me on the brisk dawn breeze, and I pause. Is there someone out there? It’s most likely to be a farmworker, but they would have had to leave the farm hours ago to be here this early.

Cautiously, I edge through the sparse trees that shelter the cabin. There’s a field on the other side, and that seems to be where the voice is coming from. If this is our enemies, I’ll hopefully be able to ascertain that without them seeing me—though, maybe I should go back to the cabin and get Coryn first. He’ll be mad if?—

Twilight lifts a little more, and I blink through the gray light, unable to believe what I’m seeing.

There’s definitely no need to get Coryn.

“…know things have been tough for you lately, but Talon’s just confused. He needs a bit more time to get used to life without Tia. The two of you are going to get along so well when you have the chance to get to know each other better.”

Leicht’s huge golden eyes glance away from the earnest blond man at his flank and lock with mine.

“What is he doing?” he asks, and there’s a note of panic in his mental voice that has me choking back a laugh.

“He’s petting you.” Gods’ turds, he really is. Coryn is petting Leicht. “And it sounds like he’s reassuring you? How long has he been here?”

“Too long,” Leicht mutters darkly, but I notice that he doesn’t move away from Coryn’s hand or do anything to scare him off. “I woke when he approached, and he’s been burbling away ever since.”

“…anyway, I realized last night how thoughtless we’ve all been, and I just wanted you to know I’m sorry. We all are. You’ve had a great loss, and now Talon’s the only person you can talk to until you get back home. So I thought I’d come and let you know that even though you can’t talk to me, I’m still here for you. I can keep you company when you’re lonely.”

Guilt slams into me like a runaway horse. I’ve been so angry about the bond being forced on me that I didn’t consider Leicht’s in exactly the same situation—only he doesn’t have Jaimin to complain to or Coryn to hug him. Though the latter seems likely to change, if it hasn’t already.

“I’m sorry for not being more considerate of your feelings.” It’s painful to say, but Leicht deserves this consideration from me. Tia loved him, and even though we may not always have got along, I owe him for what he was to her.

Not to mention that Jaimin was right yesterday. I can’t keep ignoring the bond.

A low rumble vibrates through Leicht’s body, and Coryn’s hand freezes. “Tell the precious one that his company is welcome.” He sounds reluctant. “Tia valued him. I would not hurt his… feelings.”

Stifling a grin, because I know exactly how he feels, I call softly, “Coryn?”

My stalwart guard and granter of hugs looks over his shoulder. “Talon. Good morning. Um, could you ask Leicht if he’s going to eat me or if I should keep petting him? He made this growly sound a minute ago, and I’m not sure what he’s trying to say.”

Affection wells up in me. Only Coryn would be worried about being eaten by a dragon but not move away because doing so could hurt the dragon’s feelings. Leicht is right to call him “the precious one,” and when this is all over, I’m going to find his father and brothers and hang them all by their ankles. Preferably over a chasm… or a midden.

“I could take them for a flight and accidentally drop them,” Leicht suggests, and I send him a telepathic nod of approval.

“He said your company is welcome,” I tell Coryn. “He’s not going to eat you.” To Leicht, I add, “Yes or no to the petting?”

There’s a momentary pause, and then he grudgingly replies, “It’s not painful.”

I clear my throat. “If you want to keep petting him, that’s fine. Um… what are you doing out here, exactly?” I move closer so he doesn’t have to keep straining his neck to talk to me, since he’s clearly not planning to move away from Leicht yet.

Coryn beams and returns to stroking his big hand over Leicht’s scaly hide. “I just thought I’d keep Leicht company for a while. He’s part of our team, after all, but he doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with us, and he had a big loss too.” He glances over at me. “Do you think he’d mind if I gave him a hug?”

Suddenly, there’s nothing I want more than for Tia to be here. She’d love Coryn forever for the consideration he’s showing Leicht.

“He’d like that,” I say through my too-tight throat, not even bothering to ask. I can sense his wistful agreement. “But, uh, can you… reach?” It’s not like he’s got mile-long arms, and dragons aren’t exactly human-sized.

Coryn purses his lips in consideration. “I could hug his leg,” he suggests. “I bet I can get my arms almost all the way around it.”

A sudden visual rises in my mind of my father’s favorite hunting dog humping the leg of anybody who got too close, and I bite the inside of my cheek hard. I will not laugh. Coryn is doing a nice thing. He’s a good person. Leicht’s earned a Coryn hug. I will not laugh.

And yet, when Coryn wraps his arms around Leicht’s foreleg and rests his brow against the scales, saying, “It’s okay. You’re okay,” the last thing I want to do is laugh. Blinking away tears isn’t something I ever did a lot of until recently, and now it feels as though all the tears I never wanted to cry before are seizing their chance.

I close the distance to Leicht’s massive form and lean against his flank, where Coryn was a moment ago. I can’t quite bring myself to pet him, but I lay my hand on his scales and let his warmth seep into my skin. I’ve never touched him before. Never gotten this close. He was always a peripheral part of my life, connected to me only through Tia. We tolerated each other because of her.

Things are different now. We’re bonded, and that’s not going to change. I’d kill anyone who tried to separate us. I guess that means we not only have to learn to get along, but we also have to get used to being in each other’s space.

I have to learn to fly.

“I have never had anyone ride me save Tia,” Leicht confesses. “This won’t be easy for me either.”

He probably intended that to be reassuring, but now all I can think is, what if he has a panic attack about carrying a new rider when we’re hundreds of feet in the air and decides to dump me off?

Coryn releases his hold and gives Leicht’s foreleg a pat. “There. I’ll come back to talk to you tomorrow, if you like.” He looks inquiringly up at Leicht’s big head, and after a moment, it bobs in the world’s biggest nod. Coryn grins. “Excellent. Let Talon know if there’s anything you need, or maybe a treat you’d like? We can try to get it when we resupply.”

Sudden visions of having to carry around cattle intestines or something like it spur me to intervene. “We won’t be resupplying until we get to a good-sized town. Which doesn’t look like it’ll be soon. But that’s a kind thought, Coryn. Leicht’s grateful.”

The dragon makes a growly sound that might be agreement or laughter. It’s hard to tell, since I’m getting a mental sensation of both.

“Breakfast?” I ask Coryn brightly. “It’s my turn to cook, and Leicht needs to hunt for a sheep or something.”

“Okay!” Coryn starts in the direction of the cabin, and I follow.

“There are cattle not too far from here. I believe intestines are on the menu today.”

My good mood continues over the next few days, and Jaimin keeps shooting me secret little smiles that just make me feel even better. We never got the chance to talk about whether we were ready to announce our new relationship to Coryn and Arimen—though it’s not going to take long before they guess. I think Coryn might already have his suspicions, since we’ve been sharing a tent the last couple of days. If anything, though, it’s just made him happy.

Arimen doesn’t seem to have noticed yet. I’m putting that down to his youth and innocence.

It’s not until the third day that I decide I really can’t procrastinate any longer. That is, I could , but I shouldn’t. It’s already been too long, and Jaimin’s right. We don’t know what lies ahead and which direction the stone will take us.

Just to be on the safe side, though, I check in with it.

Would it be a terrible idea and detrimental to our mission if I learned how to ride Leicht?

The chunk of rock’s amusement is clear as it replies, ~No~

Hmm. Maybe my question wasn’t clear. I mean, what if I learn right now, today? Wouldn’t that be a bad idea?

~No~

Godsdammit. But I could fall and die. Then who would find the champion?

Disbelieving laughter is the only response. I didn’t realize how much I was depending on the stone vetoing this whole plan until right this moment, when it didn’t.

So… it would be completely fine if we stopped early for the day and I had a flying lesson?

~Yes~

Ugh. Fine, then.

“Is there somewhere nearby that would make a good stopping place?” I ask Leicht. “The stone thinks I should have my first flying lesson.” There’s a surprised silence, and belatedly I add, “If that’s okay with you, of course. If not, we can leave it for another time.” Maybe I won’t have to disobey the stone. Maybe Leicht will decide?—

“A flying lesson is a good idea,” he says, killing that hope. “There’s a decent stand of trees about a mile ahead. That should provide adequate shelter for the night.”

I grumble a mental thank-you, then clear my throat. “We’ll be stopping early today,” I declare, interrupting whatever Arimen is chattering about. “In about a mile. Leicht says there’s a good spot.”

I get three surprised glances. “But why?” Arimen asks. “Shouldn’t we press on? We have a holy mission!”

The stabbing pain in my temple is a nice reminder of what it feels like to teach first-year mages. “Yes. Holy mission. The stone suggested we stop. We need to forage for food, anyway, but it…” I can’t believe I have to say this out loud. “It also thinks now is a good time for me to ride Leicht.” I mumble the last few words, and they all lean closer.

“What was that?” Coryn asks, and I sigh.

“The stone wants me to learn to ride Leicht.”

Jaimin’s expression instantly changes to surprised relief, but the other two are just plain shocked.

“What?” Coryn exclaims. “But… only bonded riders have ever ridden dragons!” He casts a worried glance toward the sky. “What if he gets mad and tries to eat you? I don’t think I could hold a dragon off for very long.”

The fact that he thinks he could hold a dragon off for any time at all is something I make a mental note of. We’re going to have to talk about that—nobody wants him taking on an impossible challenge sometime in the future.

“Leicht has given permission,” I say, which is technically the truth. The fact that we’re bonded is a little detail they don’t need to know just yet.

Even as I think that, it makes me feel guilty. Coryn has been nothing but loyal and steadfast since the moment I met him. He’s put his life on the line for me and taken on every task that’s come up, even the ones that don’t necessarily fall within his remit as our protector—like looking out for Arimen. He’s earned my trust, and yet… This isn’t the kind of thing that even the most trustworthy friend needs to know. This could endanger me, Leicht, Master, Jaimin… even my parents. This could cause problems with the dragons. Until we know why or even how it happened, it’s best for everyone, including Coryn, if he doesn’t know.

“I suppose if he’s given permission,” Coryn says, but both his expression and tone are full of doubt.

“If the stone says you need to, then you need to,” Arimen insists, then bites his lip and asks, “But do we know why? It seems dangerous to me.”

“It seems dangerous to me too,” I say dryly. “Trust me, it’s not high on my list of things I want to do. I’ve delayed it as much as I can.”

His eyes widen in shock. “You’re defying the stone ?”

A sigh escapes me. I should have known that would be his reaction.

“I’m sure Talon’s not intentionally defying the stone,” Jaimin placates, coming to my rescue as usual. “He’s probably just been trying to understand why this is necessary—and discussing it with Leicht.”

I seize on that. It sounds much better than “had a temper tantrum because I didn’t want to do it.” “Yes,” I agree. “I also needed to consider the logistics—as Arimen said, this isn’t the safest activity in the world, and I’d be learning in a very different environment to other riders. Plus, we wouldn’t want anyone to see and wonder why someone was learning to ride a dragon here instead of at the academy.” I try to look like this is something I’ve put careful planning into and not just been avoiding for weeks and then decided to throw myself into headfirst.

Although, I really hope there will be no throwing or headfirst anything going on.

“That makes sense,” Arimen ventures, though he’s sounding just as unsure as Coryn did. “But… do we know why? You didn’t say.”

Damn, I’d hoped he hadn’t noticed. “The stone didn’t say.” It’s not an outright lie—the stone didn’t say—but it is a lie of omission, and the guilt comes rushing back. “This is one of those situations where we just have to do what we’re told.” There’s a bitter edge to the words. I still hate that my life is apparently a plaything for fate. Not to mention, the stone hasn’t yet seen fit to tell us why we’re trudging across muddy fields instead of taking a nice road that goes through civilized villages. It’s been days since we’ve even seen a farmer, much less anyone else. I’m feeling very antsy about Master being our only contact with the outside world, especially since he can’t give us local Camblish information. The only positive is the reprieve from attacks.

“Okay,” Coryn says. “We’ll trust in the stone and the mission. At least Jaimin’s here for when you get hurt.”

“Let’s not say ‘when,’ as though it’s a foregone conclusion,” Jaimin suggests, but I pull a face.

“I’ve already thought of that,” I tell Coryn. “It’s a great comfort for me.”

The impatient sound Jaimin makes prompts me to grin at him. He should know by now that I’m not the kind to think positive. I’m in the “how many things can go wrong and how do I prepare for them” camp.

We reach the trees Leicht saw sooner than I would have liked, and I spend a ridiculous amount of time helping to set up camp. At one point, I even consider offering to hunt for food—which, even though we’ve been on the road for a while, I’m still terrible at.

Eventually, Jaimin raises both brows at me, and Leicht grumbles about immature mages, so I huff a sigh and walk out into the nearest field, where the mammoth dragon awaits me.

Seriously… was he always this big? I knew dragons were oversized, but I’m sure he’s grown since I saw him this morning. He’s gigantic.

“Or are you merely puny?”

“Let’s not snipe at each other,” I placate. If I have to climb onto him and let him carry me hundreds of feet into the air, I don’t want to get on his bad side. Or at least, not any more than I already am after years of calling him an overgrown lizard and other things that I’m now truly regretting. “You wouldn’t drop me over past grudges, would you?”

Maybe it’s a bad idea to remind him of that, but on the other hand, I’d hate to find out the hard way because I didn’t check.

“Not now. Perhaps before, I would have, but I won’t lose another bonded.”

Well, that’s… good.

“Great. Thank you. Um. Okay… how do we do this? I feel like I should have a month of theory and other training before my feet leave the ground.”

He snorts, tiny flames licking around his nostrils. “We have no time for that. Don’t be a coward.”

Now probably isn’t the best time to tell him Tia was the brave one. I’m the conflict avoider.

Leicht shifts his weight suddenly, making me jump, and extends his foreleg. “Climb up.”

I stare at the scaly expanse before me. Guess it’s time to learn to fly.