Page 44 of Gracie Harris Is Under Construction

I’ve snapped out of whatever weird emotional funk I was in, and in no time at all, Josh and I are back at a Friends’ Night Out gathering together.

We skipped the last one because it was so early in, well, whatever this is that we have, that we weren’t quite ready for prime time.

So much has happened in the last month, it’s hard to believe we’re here again—this time as two people who definitely have something going on.

Are we officially a couple? Boyfriend and girlfriend?

I’m not sure, because we haven’t really talked about it.

We’re just two planners who have decided to throw caution to the wind and spend every free moment together.

It’s special but undefined for now. We both know there is nobody else in the picture, so why stress?

We say hi to a few people, including a couple that I haven’t met yet, before posting up at a high-top table near the edge of the patio.

I wave at Kendell when she and James arrive a few minutes later.

They are immediately intercepted by different friends for hugs and quick chats.

I imagine that those two are the main glue that holds the broad group of friends together.

Josh and I talk about the dwindling number of to-dos left on the project list for the house. Earlier today, I told him how much I can’t wait to see my kids’ reactions—especially to their rooms—and he got emotional about it. It all just feels so special.

As Kendell and James slowly get closer to us, Josh gives me a quick kiss and runs inside to get drinks for the two of us.

The server on the patio is totally overworked and won’t make it over to us anytime soon.

Not a minute after he goes inside, a new person that I’ve never seen shows up, and everyone who is with the friends’ group is immediately distracted by her.

Lara slides over to me quickly and quietly to tell me, “Oh my gosh, that’s Katrina. ”

In all of my excitement and bliss with Josh over the last month, I’d managed to put my half-baked knowledge that his ex could be back in Canopy out of my mind. I compartmentalized to ensure the fear of that potential situation wouldn’t ruin what we actually have going on.

Some people have a type. They move from one relationship to the next with slightly different variations of the same personality.

Ben’s and Josh’s personalities aren’t that different, so I could probably be accused of having a type to some degree.

Josh, however, is not one of those people.

He’s told me enough about his ex-wife, Tessa, for me to know that she and I are very different.

And now, with the ex-fiancée standing just across the patio, I realize she is nothing like Tessa or me.

I truly can’t imagine how anyone, maybe even Josh himself, would put into words the type of woman he’s looking for.

One of those rare “no type” sort of people, I decide.

Her hair is dirty blond and wild. Before even hearing a word from her you can tell that she will not be tamed.

A quiet expression of shock ripples down the patio.

Everyone is surprised to see her, except for Sunny, who walks over to give her a polite hug.

Knowing Sunny, she did some digging after we chatted and found out that Lenny’s dubious gossip was actually true.

She’s the only one prepared to meet the moment.

I think of Josh inside at the bar, completely unaware of what he’s about to walk into. I asked about her a few weeks ago and he shrugged. She had long since fallen away as even a distant topic of conversation that you pull out when nothing else much is going on to talk about. Yet here she is.

I have learned a lot about the human condition over the last year.

Life, death, and everything in between. But if there is one subject I’ve learned about more than any other, it’s love.

At the end of the day, love is the thing that people talk to me about the most. They tell me how much they miss someone they loved.

How they found new love. Love, love, love.

All of my accidental research over the last year has made plain what is in front of me when Josh emerges through the doors with a drink in each hand.

My eyes dart from him to her, and I can see it in her expression.

The longing, the look. She’s here for a reason, and that reason is the man I’m falling in love with.

The pessimist in me is prepared to look back at him and realize in an instant that this romantic situation of ours is done. Instead, he raises an eyebrow and casually walks over to hand me my drink.

“That is definitely unexpected,” he says to the rest of the table, which now includes James, Kendell, and me. He is, it seems, completely and genuinely unperturbed by her presence. He hands me my drink and pulls me in for a kiss. I look over at James and see a relieved smile on his face.

It only takes a few minutes for Katrina to walk over to our table. James and Kendell are on the side closest to her, so she offers them hugs, which they politely accept. She says, “Hey, Josh,” with a coy smile and then reaches her hand out to me.

“You must be Gracie,” she says, as though she’s been thoroughly briefed on me and my situation with Josh. Congrats to her, because I don’t think Josh or I have been fully briefed.

She starts up small talk with Kendell and James, asking about the kids and expressing disbelief at how old they are now.

She peppers James with questions about the local real estate market; her parents are thinking of selling their house.

At some point in that discussion, she very obviously pulls her left hand up to her ear to show off an empty ring finger.

After not much time, the surface-level conversations are exhausted, and I expect her to kindly excuse herself and go talk to other people.

But she stays and turns toward Josh and me.

He wraps his arm tighter around my waist. It dawns on me that I’ve never had to deal with a situation like this before.

Ben and I met when I was eighteen and he was twenty.

The only exes we had were high school sweethearts who didn’t amount to much.

Josh has an actual romantic history as an adult—an ex-wife and a former fiancée.

For all I know, there are other important past girlfriends in his life we haven’t even talked about. This is new territory for me.

“Josh, I heard a rumor that you were taking a break from work. That can’t be true,” she says in a sarcastic tone.

“I’m on a short sabbatical,” he responds, not inclined to give more detail.

“What’s that even mean?” she pushes back.

“It means that I’m taking a few months off to take it easy and try to figure out how to run my company in a way that doesn’t kill me,” he responds in a tone that telegraphs this is not really her business to ask about.

They share some icy back-and-forth while she digs for details about his company and the house he ended up building for himself.

“He was supposed to build a house for us,” she says, turning to me, assuming I’m the only one who doesn’t already possess this information. “But typical Josh, he prioritized doing work for everyone else first, and our little patch of land stayed empty. I always thought that was a little selfish.”

“So that we’re all clear, I sold that land and built somewhere else,” he chimes in.

“Let me guess—one of those horrific A-frames you always wanted?” she says snidely.

She keeps trying to throw insults glazed in passive aggression at Josh, hoping he’ll bite and make a scene, but he doesn’t do it.

The directness of their conversation style is a bit much, even for me.

She’s trying to engage in a playful, but vaguely hostile, dynamic that they clearly used to have but that no longer appears to exist.

“What brings you back to town?” I ask her in a cheery voice, trying to break the frost that has descended. After all, I’m the only one at this table who’s not a part of this clearly messy history.

“I’m visiting my parents, trying to convince them to move out to California with me,” she starts. “And since I’m here for a few days, I thought, Why not come see some of the old crew for the first time in a few years? I’ve been married and divorced since I last saw y’all.”

“Married? Divorced?” Kendell asks without really asking. Things like this don’t typically fly under the radar of the small-town rumor mill.

“Yeah, the guy I, um…” she says, clearly trying to decide whether to continue.

“Well, it’s all water under the bridge now, so I might as well be out with it.

The guy I left Josh for—his name is Will, and it was a blast while it lasted, but we divorced a few months ago.

I have, however, stayed in love with California, so that’s the upside. ”

I squeeze Josh’s hand below the table. It doesn’t matter that years have passed or that he’s over her. Learning something like this simply sucks on a million levels. Plus, she’s just dropped it in front of me, his brother, and his sister-in-law. That doesn’t happen by accident.

I realize that I do not like the idea of her and Josh together.

I remember the first few months of Ben’s time in business school when a classmate invited us on a double date with his wife.

Nice people, I’m sure, but they were loud and wild and their couple energy was just like this: frantic.

Ben had to make excuses when future invites came.

Their whole vibe just didn’t work for me.

But here it is again, and I’m realizing this is what Josh and she were like together the entire time they were a couple.

What on earth was the appeal? This serious and aggressive dialogue does not fit him at all.

Katrina finally excuses herself with an expression of mild disappointment, and I watch as Josh, James, and Kendell raise their eyebrows and share looks that quietly say WTF?

That’s where it ends, though. There are no whispers or further discussions.

The table has silently decided not to let what was clearly a fishing expedition for attention yield the intended result.

Instead, everyone is happy to find a new topic. Kendell and James want the inside scoop on my interview tomorrow with Maisy.

“Are you nervous?” Kendell asks, her eyes glowing with excitement.

“Babe, you don’t ask someone if they’re nervous,” James jumps in. “It will only make her feel nervous if she wasn’t already.” Their spouse banter makes us all laugh. Mostly because he’s not entirely wrong.

“I’m embracing my best friend’s approach to this: it’s a mulligan. A chance to get it right,” I tell them. “Don’t get me wrong—my stomach is in knots, but I feel so much more prepared this time around.”

The truth is I am nervous. I’m also feeling strangely confident about getting on that flight tomorrow and tackling the interview all by myself.

Jenny and Josh both offered to come, but this feels like something I need to do on my own.

Well, not fully on my own, because Lucia will be there, but close enough.

“I’ve been hyping her up all week,” Josh adds. “What’s our motto?”

“It can’t be worse than last time,” I say with a genuine smile and a big laugh. All of us raise our glasses for a cheers. The entire time Josh doesn’t leave my side. He’s always there, in the big and small ways.

Then it’s Whitney time.

Josh grabs my hand with a smile that looks like it might explode off his face. Last month, we were here, in this exact place, both fighting off feelings for one another. Today, we’re here as a couple that has fully given in to them. He pulls me into a tight embrace, and we start to sway.

“Last time we were here I was trying so hard not to have my heart broken,” he whispers in my ear. “I thought if I called you my friend enough times that I might start to believe it. This is so much better. I’m just so happy, Gracie.”

“All I wanted last time was for you to spin me around and kiss me,” I say back. “I wanted you—this—so desperately.”

Josh and I do this a lot these days, admitting all of the little moments when we hoped things might evolve into something more and the moments in which we used all of our willpower to hold back.

I never expected to be dating again in my forties, and it certainly hasn’t been easy, but what I love about Josh is how open he is with me about how he feels now.

He doesn’t hold back. He just spins me around to the music and then pulls me in for a kiss.

I glance across the bar patio and spot Katrina watching us. Well, watching him, I’m sure. Whatever the real reason was for her coming here tonight, it’s clear from the expression on her face that she understands that Josh’s heart isn’t on the market anymore. It’s firmly tied up with mine.