Page 140 of Gone Before Goodbye

He hands it to her. Maggie takes it. Porkchop turns and stares out again.

“You never told me about it,” he says.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“You know why not.”

He nods. “Because there are things you don’t tell me.”

“Yeah, I thought you might be going there. It’s not the same thing.”

“Actually, it is. You trust me, right?”

“With my life.”

“And yet you keep things from me. And I keep things from you.”

“What do you keep from me?”

“You’re missing the point.”

“Also you’re not my husband.”

“Marc told you what he knew. What he could.”

“He didn’t tell me about Oleg Ragoravich.”

“Do you think that means he loved you any less?”

“Now who’s missing the point?”

“Part of the human condition is that we all think that we are uniquely complex—no one knows what we arereallythinking, what we are capable of—and yet we are convinced we can read other people. We think that we know what’s going on inside others, what they are really feeling or experiencing or thinking, but they can’t tell the same about us. That’s obviously impossible. You and Marc…” Porkchop stops and shakes his head. “You guys were the best couple I’d ever seen. But you weren’t”—he puts his palms together—“‘one.’ That’s new-age bullshit. It’s also undesirable. Marc didn’t tell you everything about Ragoravich because he wanted to protect you. Like you and me with the griefbot. Only yeah, fair—more so. Marc knew that if he told you the full truth, you wouldn’t go home and take care of your mother. You’d want to stay by his side and fight with him. And then maybe you’d be dead now.”

Maggie gets it. And doesn’t. “Do you really think Trace had something to do with Marc’s murder?” she asks him.

He just stares out.

“Porkchop?”

“No one knows what we are really thinking, what we are capable of.”

“Quoting yourself?”

“Who better?” Porkchop lets loose a deep sigh. “It’s late. I’m going to bed.”

“You slept the whole train ride here.”

“But you didn’t. Get some rest. We have a big day tomorrow.”

“Suppose Trace is there?” she asks.

Porkchop’s eyes close.

“What will we do then?”

He opens his eyes, leans down, and kisses the top of Maggie’s head. “We’ll cross that bridge if we get to it.”