Page 19

Sam stood on the end of the pier and watched until Eric and Ivan were out of sight. He turned back to his boat, but as he walked down the pier, a lone figure caught his eye.

A slim silver-haired form sat cross-legged; Austin’s back cut a lonely figure against the night. Sam paused when he reached his boat, eyeing him up. Sam climbed aboard, checking the waters around the boat, but no faces appeared to greet him. Inside the cabin, Sam turned over a fleece in his hand several times before he tucked it under his arm and disembarked. He was halfway down the pier when Austin turned his head.

His eyes flashed an unnatural silver as Sam approached. By the time Sam reached him, Austin had turned his back and resolutely stared forward, ignoring him.

“Temperature’s meant to drop later,” Sam said. He set the fleece onto the wood next to Austin.

Austin ignored him. Didn’t acknowledge his words or his existence. His gaze was fixed on the horizon line.

“Have you gone through?”

“Why?” Austin snapped, the raised voice catching Sam by surprise.

“It’s another world. Seems like something interesting to check out.”

Austin scrambled to his feet and whirled on Sam. “Who told you about me? Connor? Is that it?”

Austin advanced, getting in Sam’s face. Sam took a careful step back to each one Austin took forward. He should have left Austin alone.

“I don’t know anything about you,” Sam said. “Just that you helped Connor.”

Austin glared like he didn’t believe Sam. And Sam realised that his doubt was true; Sam did know pieces of the story behind Austin.

“Some, actually,” Sam admitted. “Connor told me about himself, and you came up. I know the same thing that happened to him happened to you. And that you’re real prickly,” Sam added, after a moment of thought. Connor had told Sam an abridged, dismissive explanation about what happened to him. He’d spoken remotely, emotionlessly, as if it was a stranger he was talking about. His biological dad, Ben, had used him as a genetic experiment, injecting genes from a merperson into him as a foetus. Austin had been a victim too.

Austin’s glare didn’t lessen. “What’s wrong with your dad?”

The question caught Sam completely off guard. “What?”

“What’s wrong with him?” Austin repeated.

The ocean lapped lethargically against the hulls of parked boats, and a lone gull cried in the sky. Sam looked from Austin to his boat, hardly a stone’s throw away. “I didn’t see you when I came down with Eric.”

“You were scowling at your shoes.”

“And you listened in,” Sam said. When he saw Austin begin to tense all over again, he cast him a half grin. “Suppose that’s payback from before? My dad has dementia. He’s stable once he’s at the house with his birds and books, but he gets really confused if I try to bring him out anywhere.” Sam wanted to ask why Austin was interested, but he got the feeling if he pointed out his curiosity, Austin would slam it shut just to prove Sam wrong.

“Why do you take care of him?”

“My mom passed away when I was young, and my brother moved away. I’m the only immediate family he’s got left.”

“So it’s obligation?” Austin’s pointed questions were clearly seeking something, but Sam didn’t know Austin well enough to know what he was looking for, or if Sam could give it to him even if he did.

“Partly. Love too. He was always good to me, and patient,” Sam explained. “And I want to give back that patience.”

Austin’s pointed look turned piercing. “You’re always out on the water or at college. You’re hardly home an hour each day. That isn’t what patience and love look like.”

The nasty words struck true and pierced Sam deeply. Sam made sure his dad had food. Made sure to regularly take out new books on birds from the library for him and made sure the radio was tuned properly whenever he was in the house. But Sam spent less and less time at home with each passing month. Refusing to acknowledge that the obligation was stifling and that he wanted to be out and doing other things. That he wanted to be out on the water, hanging out with Goldilocks and indulging in his art.

Sam hated Austin in the seconds that followed his words. “What does patience and love look like, then? Do you know?”

Austin opened and closed his mouth without saying anything. He looked as stung as Sam felt. Austin’s top lip twitched, as if he were about to snarl the same way Goldilocks did. He turned from Sam with a jerk, storming away down the dock. Sam watched him go.

As Austin stomped off, Sam noticed for the first time the sailing boat parked in the water just opposite his own fishing boat. Fionn’s sailboat. The blue canvas of his jib and mainsail were both tidily wrapped up, and in the dimming light, the red paint of his waterline on the hull looked black. He turned away from it.

He stooped down with a sigh and retrieved his ignored fleece from the ground.

As he was about to step onto his boat, metal clanged behind him. He twisted to look over his shoulder at the sailboat, examining the deck. He waited, but all he heard was the sound of the waves. If it was another boat, he might take a closer look and see if there was a loose piece of equipment that hadn’t been secured. But it was Fionn’s sailboat and Sam didn’t want any trouble. He ignored it.

Sam tossed his fleece into his cabin and locked up again. He wanted to spend the night, which meant he needed to head home and get his dad’s meals all sorted out for him first, and check in on him and make sure he was okay. And then show his patience and love by leaving him there without company for the night.

Sam pressed his lips tightly together. Should he spend more time with his dad? Between college and fishing, he didn’t have much spare time. So if he truly wanted to do that, be more present at the house, it would mean giving one of those up. And Sam could survive with just fishing, but he couldn’t commit to only college. He didn’t have the money for that.

More time with his dad would mean giving up college. He didn’t let himself acknowledge the third thing he could give up.

“I’ll be back in an hour,” Sam said aloud, in case Goldilocks was lurking nearby. “Or two.”

***

It ended up being three.

Sam shouldn’t have even bothered leaving the house again given the late hour, but he did, waiting only for the dryer to finish its cycle so he had fresh and clean clothes to replace the wet ones on his boat. The pier was abandoned given the late hour, and Sam didn’t catch sight or sound of anybody as he got onto the boat and started the engine. He went to Curlew Bay, where it was private.

Sam laid anchor and cursed under his breath as he turned on the hob to heat up some tea. He’d already brushed his teeth, but damn, it was freezing.

A splash at the side of the boat caught Sam’s attention. He fought an involuntary smile and only turned toward the side when he was certain his expression was neutral. It wouldn’t look good to start grinning like a loon whenever Goldilocks came by, now would it? He’d give himself totally away.

“Would you like any tea?” Sam asked casually.

Goldilocks’s chin jutted down in a nod, and Sam gave him the cup that said ‘Sam’, keeping the more used and chipped one labelled ‘Dad’ for himself. Sam should pick up a cup to paint for Goldilocks so he had his own as well. Maybe have Goldilocks on one side, and Devil on the other.

Sam pulled up a chair and sat next to the railing, wrapping both hands around the cup to warm his fingers. “I think this was just about the longest day ever.” He sighed. It had started out very promising with Goldilocks, and Sam was pleased to let the day end in Goldilocks’s company too.

“Eric left,” he said. “So, it’s back to just me and Dad again.” Sam surprised himself by speaking in a tone of voice as if he were upset by that. It was Eric’s fault. Him and his stupid tears over that damned cup. It made Sam imagine it. Imagine what he must have been like as a brother when he was younger. And it left him with this confusing loss that there was a void of nothing where Eric should be.

“I was mean to him, and now I’m upset that he’s gone.” Sam sighed. “I don’t think I even understand my own feelings.”

Goldilocks reached out, resting his hand on Sam’s shoulder. He hummed from low in his throat, and though he couldn’t speak, Sam knew it was meant as comfort. And probably because that hum came from a creature that usually hissed at Sam and said things like ‘ You’re displeasing me’ , it physically melted through Sam and relaxed him in warmth.

Did this morning mean Goldilocks was going to be nice to him now? Not that Goldilocks ever treated him badly, he just…demanded attention. In a timely manner.

His golden eyes studied Sam, and he tilted his head, peering at his mouth as Sam fought back a smile. To hide his loss, he took a sip of tea. Goldilocks grunted. He also took a sip from the tea, but his expression was a mask of indifference. Whether he hated or loved it, Sam had no idea.

“Where do you sleep out here?” Sam asked. “Or do you swim all the way back?” He had gills, sure, but somehow the image of Goldilocks sleeping in the ocean rather than in a bed felt wrong. Goldilocks grunted his answer, and he slid his fingers lightly up Sam’s shoulder and onto his neck. He gently touched beneath Sam’s throat, caressing the part where he had gills on his own neck. Sam enjoyed the warmth of his touch.

Goldilocks’s fingers travelled to the back of Sam’s neck, enclosing his nape in his hand, and he leaned in, rubbing his chin atop Sam’s head. His briny ocean scent washed over Sam, and Sam let his eyes drift closed. Goldilocks was careful as he caressed the bite mark on the back of Sam’s neck and when his fingers pushed upwards, massaging the base of Sam’s skull, pleasant shivers cascaded down his spine.

The hand at the back of his neck seemed to be enough to warm Sam. Once warm, his mind immediately began to drift. He startled, opening his eyes and pulling himself upright. He’d almost fallen off the chair. And the cup – Sam looked down at his lap – was empty but still safely in his hand.

“I have to turn in,” Sam said. “Otherwise, I’ll fall asleep on you here. And just so you know, I don’t have time for another trip to your place.” He looked up at Goldilocks. “Maybe this coming weekend? I mean, if you want me to come over.” Sam bit the inside of his cheek, hoping he wasn’t getting ahead of himself.

He glanced at the floor space in his cabin. “Think you could fit in there?” he wondered aloud. A second later, he dismissed the idea. No way would Goldilocks fit. Maybe if he swapped out his tail for legs, and then bent at the knee. But as his usual self, he was far too long.

It took Sam a few seconds to realise that Goldilocks had stiffened all over.

A garbled sound came from Goldilocks’s throat, and then, without warning, he released Sam’s neck and pulled his tail from the water. The boat shifted with his sudden movement, and Sam grabbed the railing to steady himself, only to step back to avoid Goldilocks’s tail as he swung it into the boat. There was a low humming from Goldilocks, followed by a mix of a chirp and a huff. The mask of indifference had given way to a pleased expression. His eyes were alert, eager. His mouth was soft, and sounds of happiness continued to come from Goldilocks’s throat.

Sam’s surprise waned, and he simply stared, taking in the joyful reaction he’d coaxed from Goldilocks as if it were a balm to his own worries. And it was. Stress and worry eased away, and Sam grinned at the merman.

“Let me set everything up,” Sam said, feeling light despite the long day. “Would you mind drying your tail? I have a towel here.”

He put the two cups away and fetched a dry towel. Goldilocks immediately set to the task of drying himself, allowing Sam to focus on his part. He pushed aside a trunk and let down the pallet he used as an improvised bed frame, perfectly sized to fit exactly into the floor space. He grabbed his blankets from the trunk. On top were the thick furs Goldilocks had gifted him when the day was still young. Sam laid those out first, followed by his own blankets. He stepped back to double-check his setup and then noticed Goldilocks was waiting for him.

“So…” Sam tilted his head. “How do we get you that far? Shall I help?”

Though Goldilocks looked weightless in the water, Sam knew he weighed far more than Sam could hope to lift, so carrying him in would likely result in torn muscles. Crawling seemed too demeaning…and if Goldilocks was anything, he was proud.

Goldilocks raised his hand, palm up, and made an entreating sound in his throat.

Sam approached, and Goldilocks caught him by the wrist, guiding him to his far side. He gripped Sam’s jaw, turning his head away from the cabin. Goldilocks released a warning growl.

“I won’t look,” Sam promised.

The growl continued even as Goldilocks released him. Sam stayed perfectly still. The boat rocked as Goldilocks moved, and Sam heard his tail scraping across the deck. Finally, the growl relented, replaced by a chirp.

“I can turn?” Sam asked.

Another chirp. Sam turned around.

Goldilocks was in the bed, partially beneath the covers. His arm was raised, and there was a spot beside him clearly meant for Sam. Sam approached and toed off his shoes. The door couldn’t close, but with the weather calm and the sea gentle, that shouldn’t be an issue. As for staying warm…he’d be hard-pressed to feel cold with Goldilocks lying next to him.

Sam carefully crawled into the spot and was immediately enveloped in warmth as Goldilocks tucked the blankets around him. An arm of firm muscle wrapped around Sam, dragging him against Goldilocks’s body.

“Hey,” Sam objected. But his complaint lacked any real bite, turning into a chuckle as he felt Goldilocks’s chest flush against his back. Goldilocks’s entire body vibrated in a soothing purr, and he nestled his face into Sam’s hair.

He’s happy, Sam realised. And so am I .