Page 11

The drizzle had stopped so Sam sat next to the steering wheel, idling away the time as Laurence, Nick, and Trevor all disembarked from the yacht onto a newly constructed wooden dock. It jutted out a considerable distance from the shore, necessary for Connor to be able to dock the yacht and not risk damage during low tide. Halfway down the dock was the boat that used to belong to Ben, Connor’s biological dad. Sam looked past the short sandy shore to their new house, nestled between thick deciduous woodland, except for the side facing the sea where soil blended into sand. Only a stone’s throw from the ocean, Sam thought the only more fitting place for Connor to live was in the yacht.

The three family members walked down the wet dock, and Connor tracked up to Sam. He was now wearing the pearl-coloured hoodie Nick had on before getting off the yacht. Sam grinned. “Trevor make you wear that?”

“Shove off,” Connor said good-naturedly. He leaned against the panel beside the steering wheel. “He told me to offer the extra bed again since it’s so late. You can’t sleep in my bed cause Adonis would pitch a fit, but Laurence could and you could have his bed for the night.”

“I’m good,” Sam said. “I’d rather have my boat in the morning…unless you want to stay here?” He wouldn’t make Connor go all the way back if he was ready to crash, and he could always get a lift with one of the fishermen back to his boat in the morning.

“I promised Adonis I’d spend the night on the yacht with him, so I can lay anchor in any bay I like,” Connor said. “You want me to power up the engine, or do you have time to sail? I don’t even know what time it is.” Connor looked at the moon, as if to gauge the time from it. “Midnight?”

“I heard Trevor just tell you that.”

“I knew from the stars.”

Sam laughed. “Let’s sail.”

There was a light breeze, but it was going in the right direction to fill the sails toward Sam’s boat without having to cut.

“I’ll untie us,” Connor said. He walked down the steps toward the front, where a length of rope held them to the dock.

“What do you want me to do?” Sam eyed the tied sails. He’d been out a few times now with Connor, and though he’d never been on a yacht before Connor bought this one, he’d sat in on enough lessons with Laurence and had enough know-how to be a help rather than a hindrance.

Connor pointed where he wanted him and then leaned out, tossing a length of rope onto the dock haphazardly. “Any requests?” He dug his phone out of his pocket and held it out.

“Thought you liked listening to the ocean?”

“I do. But don’t think I didn’t see you roll your eyes at me when I told you that.”

“You don’t remember that. That was like…” Sam trailed off, thinking hard.

“Four years ago.” Connor tugged the tied ropes at his side loose, not even having to look to undo the knot. “You remembered halfway out to your pots that you’d charged up Eric’s old Bluetooth speaker and asked what I wanted to listen to. And when I said I liked the sound of the waves—”

“I didn’t roll my eyes,” Sam denied. He stood with his feet planted and his hands on his sides.

“You rolled them up to the stars,” Connor said, dry amusement in his tone. “And you said—”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“You said ‘ And do you also like the sound of the engine?’ in the most sarcastic tone I’ve ever heard out of you,” Connor persisted.

“That’s some imagination on you,” Sam said. He hoped the lights on the yacht weren’t enough to reveal that he’d reddened. He did remember that. He thought he’d always been fairly nice to Connor, but maybe that wasn’t strictly true. How could Sam have listened to ‘I like the sound of the waves’ , with the boat’s engine roaring because it needed a repair, and not been a little exasperated?

“So, requests?” Connor prompted.

Sam bent to untie the rope Connor had pointed at earlier. “I actually like the sound of snapping sails, and birds and waves, nature’s music, you know? And if there’s an engine choking too, that’s all the better,” Sam said. Connor’s laugh ate his sentence up.

It was a peaceful sail by moonlight, a warm breeze leading them across the ocean along the flat water. The land was a distant, dark smudge and only the odd bird call disturbed them. Adonis caught up just as they reached Sam’s boat, and Sam saw his large mass beneath the waves only when he came close enough to the surface for the lights to reflect off his scales. Sam could never quite figure out what colour Adonis’s tail was; it seemed to bounce colours rather than hold its own.

As Sam finished securing the sails, Connor dropped anchor, and when Sam was done, Connor was digging through the cooler. “I have two ciders left. That good with you?”

Sam nodded.

“Let’s sit over the edge.” Connor grabbed two pillows and tucked them under his arm. “Adonis will get huffy if he can’t see us.”

Sam sat next to Connor, and their feet hung several feet above the waterline. As Sam cracked open his cider can, Adonis’s face emerged from the water right beneath them, and he studied Connor briefly before dipping below again.

Music hummed in the background, and the sound of the waves soothed Sam, almost putting him to sleep. He fought that sleepiness, wanting to stay in this relaxed, peaceful state longer.

“What happened to exploring the other world?” Sam asked, needing to talk before he drifted off.

“I had to come back to sort a few things out,” Connor explained. “I’m waiting to sign the deed away to the old house. My realtor said if I go AWOL on him again when he has a buyer waiting, he’s going to sell it at half price. I keep telling him that Trevor can sign for me, but the realtor won’t let me do that.”

“I’m sure Trevor is happy to have you sticking around. And Laurence.”

“It’s nice spending time with them,” Connor agreed. His eyes tracked Adonis as he circled past them once more. “Even though it makes Adonis grumpy. Speaking of…I’m surprised your admirer didn’t stick around.”

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned back, snagging a pillow from the nearest lounger to rest his head on. “He’s a self -admirer. And he’s probably off sulking somewhere after getting in trouble with me.” Not that Sam gave out to him per se…If anything, Sam was more irritable with him before he fell into the ocean.

“Aha, so something did happen. You went swimming with him?”

Sam snorted and shut his eyes. “More like he…” Saying he knocked Sam into the water would be a lie. “He grabbed my book because I wasn’t paying attention to him, and I fell in trying to get it back.” Sam opened his eyes, realising something. “I didn’t even ask if I hurt him.”

“Their well-being is something you don’t need to worry about, I promise you that.” Connor reclined next to Sam. “Adonis, I’m cold,” he called.

“How can you be so sure?” Sam asked.

“Because I’ve been to their world now too, and from what I’ve seen, they’re the big fish, Sam. In and out of the water.”

The ladder bumped against the hull as Adonis climbed it. Sam stared straight up at the stars, their white light splattered across a sky that wouldn’t go fully dark for months yet until the spring and summer passed. “Where do they live over there? Underwater? On land? Laurence said they can shift like Adonis on that side of The Tear. And they can talk.”

“I only ever see them in the ocean,” Connor said. “Adonis only goes on land when he’s with me. I have no idea where the other three live. Worm One and Two never separate, so I’m sure they have a cove together somewhere. But Goldilocks?” He shrugged.

Adonis draped a heavy blanket over Connor before joining him, resting his head on his stomach. Sam peeked at him, seeing Adonis kept his eyes open, pointed at the water. He wanted to ask why Adonis hated Bee and Dew so much, yet Devil was allowed near them, but he didn’t want to bring it up and make the merman growl. Adonis was intimidating, no matter what Connor said about Sam being safe around him. Sam never felt that same intimidation toward Devil; no matter his growls or hisses, he was far calmer than Adonis. Sam never got the sense that he’d ever lost control of his emotions.

“Do you want Adonis to heal your cheek?” Connor asked.

“Nah,” Sam said. Speaking of strange and unusual… “Nick told you about that?”

“I heard Mary was being her firecracker self,” Connor said. “You okay?”

Sam sighed. “As long as I don’t get a letter saying I’m expelled over that mess.” His thoughts drifted to Mary, to Eric, to Ivan, and he tried to push away from them right away again. “Goldilocks threw my homework into the ocean,” Sam said, redirecting the conversation straight back to something that didn’t fill him with anxiety. “He never gives me a second of peace unless I’m painting him. If he’s trying to get my attention, he sure is going about it backwards.” Again, Sam kept silent about the oysters and champagne. He didn’t want to share that memory for Connor to give a smug smile and a teasing ‘ Oh and you think that means he fancies you now, do you? ’

“Do you get frustrated when you’re doing homework?”

Sam looked at Connor in surprise, caught off guard by the question. “What?” He and Connor had never gone to the same school, and Sam had put a lot of effort and time into reading and answering his texts when they’d dated. He was pretty sure that Connor didn’t even know he had dyslexia. At least, he’d thought so. Involuntarily, his face warmed, and he knew with his skin tone that he couldn’t hide it. Not at all.

Connor’s eyes flicked to him, and then he scooted over, bumping Sam with his elbow. “You’re relaxed when you paint, right? You enjoy that. And homework is more like work? Less enjoyable?”

“Yes…” Sam answered, still not having any idea where Connor was going with this. “Obviously, I mean. That’s the same for anyone,” he added quickly.

Connor shrugged. “I always liked homework. And Adonis knows I like reading, so he’ll always leave me in peace with my books. What he also knows is that after I paddleboard, I get tired. And that, he doesn’t like – so he takes away the oar so I stop using it. Now I know he’s not doing that to be irritating or get on my nerves – quite the opposite. He’s trying to treat me well, in his own way. So, I’ll ask again: do you get frustrated when you’re doing your homework?”

“Yes.”

“And Goldilocks comes along and does absolutely everything in his power to get you away from those books?”

“He…” Sam’s reply of he just wants attention died in his throat. Did Devil interrupt because Sam would get frustrated with his homework? Could that really be it? “I thought he was just impatient. That he wanted to be painted so badly he refused to wait.”

“You said he sits still for hours at a time while you paint him,” Connor pointed out. “He’s not impatient.”

Devil had been harassing Sam for months. Sam had an entire portfolio dedicated to the merman, had invested in paints and pencils and sketchbooks. “I don’t know.”

“I’m the expert,” Connor said. He tugged at Adonis’s hair. “Right, Adonis?”

Adonis twisted around so that he was peering up at Connor’s face instead of facing the ocean. A sulky expression twisted Adonis’s features, and Connor’s lips softened into a smile.

Sam looked at the pair an extra moment before he sat up, feeling as though he was intruding. Mary would undoubtedly scowl at him. Tell him he was being stupid to hang out with Connor and his new boyfriend, but Sam didn’t feel bad about it. Not jealous, or hurt, or even lonely. It was nice to see Connor happy. Nice to hear him talk with a soft voice, for his smiles to be sweet and genuine rather than bladed and deadly.

And thinking of the comparison, of how different he was now, Sam couldn’t help but think of his own attitude lately. About how he’d snapped at Eric. Gotten defensive. Dismissive.

A hand touched his back, and Sam peered down at Connor, who was watching him with steady eyes.

“Is it something I can help with?” Connor asked.

Sam rested his arms on the railing and gazed at the darkened ocean. His fishing boat looked tiny floating above the black depths, and the distant coastline was only distinguishable because its blackness held yellow lights rather than the blue-white dots of reflected stars. “No, I’m just” – he kicked his heel against the hull of the ship – “thinking. I’m trying to figure out what to do with Eric.” How were you supposed to suddenly form a familial bond with someone you’d never known before? Connor was probably the perfect person to ask. He’d gone from strangers to family with Trevor, Laurence and Nick in a short amount of time. And Sam could see the genuineness of that mutual affection.

Sam sometimes fantasised about what could have been if things had turned out differently. If there had been no freak brain aneurysm to steal away his mom. If he’d grown up with that bottomless well of love – and Sam remembered enough of his mom to know it truly had been bottomless. Not that his dad hadn’t cared for him. He had. With labour and work and stories and a soft touch that even losing his wife hadn’t slayed. But while early onset dementia and a scattered mind hadn’t affected Oisín’s gentle nature, it had stolen the last dependable adult from Sam. He’d been taking care of his dad, his own welfare lost in the exhausting work of all that entailed, since he was fifteen. Often, he was certain that he did a terrible job of it. Often, he wondered if his family was cursed.

And now there was Eric. An older brother Sam didn’t remember. Sam was afraid to let himself fantasise about what that could mean. He could dream all day long about his mom still being alive, but there was no disappointment to accompany the dreams when they could never be reality. What if he indulged himself in getting to know the soft-hearted man? What if he imagined the weight of responsibility leaving his shoulders? If he opened himself up to the possibilities, he feared that reality would strike him harder than he could bear.

“I was a dick to Eric, and I’m feeling bad about it now,” Sam simplified. He wouldn’t allow himself to unload everything on Connor. He liked that their friendship was uncomplicated, and he wanted to keep it that way. “His friend said something, and I overreacted to it.”

“You were a dick? Wish I could have seen that.”

A sudden snarl tore from Adonis.

Sam jerked in surprise, twisting to meet a furious glare.

“No, no,” Connor said quickly, “it’s—”

The air warmed as a strange haze blurred Adonis’s legs. They merged, lengthened, and Sam fell forward with a yelp as the bar he was leaning against abruptly gave way.

“Crap,” Connor cursed.

Sam fell overboard with the detached railing, the screech of shearing metal piercing through his skull like a physical blow. Heat clipped his ear. He hit the water on his side, plunged beneath the waves, and in just a few seconds, his wrist was grabbed. He was pulled through the water, up to the surface.

Sam broke the waterline, coughed out a mouthful of saltwater and blinked in surprise to see it was Devil’s beautiful face in front of him. “Oh.” The saltwater burned his eyes, and he rubbed them with the back of his hand.

“It was a turn of phrase, Adonis,” Connor was saying up above. “It meant he behaved in a certain way, and I wished I had seen the behaviour. I didn’t mean I wanted to see his dick.”

Sam looked up to see Adonis’s true form. His giant tail had, to put it bluntly, just wrecked the entire railing of Connor’s yacht. Connor had his arms wrapped around Adonis’s torso, keeping a hold of him. Adonis glared at Sam as if he were about to drown him.

Devil moved between them, head tilted back as he, too, gazed up at the growling Adonis. He drifted backwards until Sam’s legs were butting up against his tail as he kicked to keep his head above water. Devil reached back, caught Sam’s wrist and held him firmly. With his arm as a brace, Sam could float without kicking his legs and hitting his tail.

“I think I’ll head back to my boat,” Sam called, seeing that Connor’s words weren’t doing anything to lessen Adonis’s ferocious glare. Connor had warned Sam before never to mention the fact that they’d dated in front of Adonis; and he could see that had been a very smart precaution on Connor’s behalf.

“Are you hurt?” Connor asked, concern in his voice.

“Not at all.”

Devil pushed back, creating distance between them and the yacht.

“Let me throw down the ladder. I’ll bring you back.”

“You know what?” Sam thought about it for only a second. Devil spent most of his time tormenting Sam, but he was also pretty sure that he would take care of him in the water. He had when he’d fallen in earlier, after all, and just now he’d been there to grab him right away. “I’ll swim over with Devil. It’s not that far.”

Connor burst into laughter. “‘ Devil ’?”

“Goldilocks! I said Goldilocks!” Sam burned crimson.

Devil, Goldilocks, slowly turned his head. Sam wanted to sink beneath the waves and stay there. “I said Goldilocks.” He knew his damned skin had turned bright red. His golden eyes met Sam’s, bright against the dark blue that surrounded them. Small droplets of seawater shook loose from his golden lashes as he blinked.

Devil frowned, his gaze sliding sideways to Sam’s temple. His hand lifted from the water, his fingers pushing back a lock of hair. Warm fingertips brushed the edge of his ear. Sam winced, the touch stinging. He guessed it had been sliced by the railing, hopefully not too badly. Devil’s top lip twitched, threatening that sneer he usually cast at Sam when he delayed painting him for schoolwork, and his gaze moved from the injury to Adonis. The sound that hummed from Devil’s chest was low; it had goosebumps prickling over Sam’s arms.

Connor’s smile faded. And for a moment, looking up at him, Sam thought that Connor’s eyes were glowing. “It was an accident,” Connor said. Calm, if not for the unnatural stillness that washed over him.

Adonis tensed as all traces of aggression left his face. The sneer vanished. The glare ceased. Adonis pressed his cheek to Connor’s chest, his low whine filling the air.

Devil’s eyes moved from their fixed position on Adonis to Connor. And in that swap, the growl lessened. The two of them stared at each other, and Sam’s instincts were telling him that he was looking at two apex predators about to get into a fight. And he didn’t understand why Connor felt like the one who was more dangerous.

Sam shook himself internally. He made himself look harder at Connor: he wasn’t sitting on a throne, just a yacht with a mangled railing. He was wearing green shorts that Trevor had probably bought him and Nick’s hoodie that Trevor had insisted he wear to keep warm. The wind had his hair in tangles. The blue yacht lights only gave the illusion that his grey eyes were glowing.

“Connor,” Sam interrupted. “Do you mind? I’m cold.”

Connor’s gaze stayed on Devil, unyielding; it was Devil who broke eye contact, turning his back on Connor to face Sam. He slipped his grip from Sam’s forearm to his hand and, with a swish of his tail, began to move. Sam’s boat was in the distance. Too far for him to confidently swim to alone, but with Devil tugging him along, it was more than doable.

Sam looked over his shoulder to Connor, who, after a final long look at the back of Devil’s head, mouthed, “Sorry,” to Sam.

“Adonis, let’s see if you can bend that back into place for me.” Connor’s voice carried over the water.