Page 4

Chapter Four

I woke up, once again, to my work phone blaring at me. I had to stop waking up like that, particularly when it also woke up the raccoon, and he was not in a good mood. He leapt onto the top of the couch, snarling and trying to rip off the bandage, and in general acting like a rabid psychopath.

I held up my hands as I edged towards my bag. “Calm down, Mr. Raccoon. It’s okay. You’re probably hungover and have a nasty headache, but everything’s going to be fine.” I dove for the bag, and got my phone out on the first try. I hit the right button and put it to my ear in time to hear Lieutenant Joss bellow, “She’ll be here in fifteen minutes, or I’ll send her to the market!”

“Hello?” I asked, heading for the bathroom, but the raccoon leapt in front of me, cutting me off. His eyes were bright and beady, and those teeth looked so sharp.

“Sato! Get down to the station now and get the cuffs off Corcarn! No one else can get them off! They’re a nuisance!”

I stared at the raccoon and at the phone. What was I supposed to do now? I edged away from the raccoon and towards the small kitchen that only had a half wall separating it from the living room. If I could distract Mr. Raccoon with food, I might be able to escape with my limbs intact.

“Yes, sir. I’ll be in shortly.”

“Now!”

“Yes, well, I’m currently cornered by a masked, hungover criminal, so I will be there when I can.”

Mr. Raccoon leapt at me, and I ducked down then threw myself into the kitchen, dropping my phone. I could still hear Lieutenant Joss yelling while I opened the first cabinet and found some very old breakfast cereal. I grabbed a handful and hurled it at the raccoon, getting it in his face. He stopped, sniffed, and then started eating the sugary cereal. Definitely not ideal raccoon food, but this wasn’t the time to be particular.

“Yeah? You like that? Have some more.” I threw another handful at it while I edged around it into the living room, scooping up my phone on the way. I threw one last handful before I grabbed my bag and left by way of the inner hall. That door was closer, and I didn’t want to feel the truth of the goblin’s barbs about my unwitchy plant skills. I definitely shouldn’t leave the raccoon in my apartment, but I couldn’t let it out on the street until it was healed, either. I’m sure it would be fine.

“Sorry about that,” I said, holding the phone to my ear, but the line was dead. The Lieutenant must have hung up. That made sense. Still, it made my stomach queasy to think about how he might think that I’d hung up on him just because I dropped my phone. No problem. Everything would be fine.

I shook my head and sighed, then headed down the stairs and into the kitchen where my dad was humming The Eye of the Tiger .

“Hey dad,” I said, patting his shoulder.

He looked up from his deadly chopping to give me a gentle smile. “Rinny, good morning. Did you see what I got from the book fair? I found something you’ll like. It’s wrapped on top of the fridge.”

I grabbed it and stuck it in my bag. “Thanks. I haven’t got time to look at it now. I’m sorry I had Tarn go with you. I know he’s…” Not interested in books. Explosives, yes. Poisons, also yes. Fast bikes, of course, but not books.

“Your work is calling you on the weekends now? I thought that ended after your internship.”

I laughed, and then sniffed my way to the delicious carton on the counter. I took a spoonful of the stuff and put it in my mouth before I realized what I was doing. Sushi hadn’t ever tasted so good. I took another bite and another, and another, until he pulled the carton away, giving me a weird look. “Are you okay? You don’t usually like raw blowfish.”

I froze and felt a wave of nausea that was mostly psychological. Unless I had actually poisoned myself with one of the most dangerous fishes in the world. “It’s a new thing. I’ve got to get to work.” I sprinted out of there before I had a nervous breakdown and told my dad everything. I’d inherited my ability to keep my mouth shut from him, but sometimes things got a little crazy. Like a drunk raccoon in your apartment crazy. Or turning into a goblin crazy. No. I was not turning into a goblin, even if I was suddenly craving incredibly dangerous raw fish.

I got in my car, the purple hornet sounding good when I got it going. One thing my brother wasn’t terrible at was tuning up cars. He’d been keeping my old Hatchet alive ever since I was sixteen. He was two years younger than me, so I’d always had to protect him, but he had his own ways of taking care of me. The car actually worked better now than when I’d first gotten it.

I drove to the police station, which was not close to the courthouse or our sushi shop, which was good so I never ran into anyone I knew, but it was also close to one of the largest escalators down to Song, and the surrounding area had the highest crime rate in Sing. Why wouldn’t you want a police station right in the middle of that? My main issue was that the parking garage was extremely small, and the closest paid parking was between a busy 24-hour club and a motel. I mean, it was a hotel in theory, but it was so old and skeevy. The rates were very low and appealed to a certain demographic that I got to wade through every time I parked my car.

It was eight-thirty by the time I got to the garage, and then I had to push my way past a half-naked couple with wings and tails that were exploring their options way too publicly for me.

“Get a room,” I said as I pushed the guy’s back hard enough to knock them out of the doorway.

He came up for air long enough to fix me with gleaming red eyes, before the other person pulled him back down into their mutual transfixion. I shuddered and hurried to the stairs. I absolutely did not need that kind of attention when I was thinking about dating. It would scare me out of even thinking about trying, and seriously, the way I kept thinking about Sashimi’s shampoo, I needed to do something to change my trajectory.

I got outside to the sidewalk and hurried towards the station, walking past the club with its pulsing bass and the bouncer, Marilyn who nodded at me.

“Hey, Rynnie. You wanna come in for a drink? The boss would pay you better than Jossy. She’d even give you a free parking pass.”

“But it would be the parking garage I already use. Also, I’m not bouncer material.”

She snorted and flexed her enormous arms, the red skin stretched taut over the rippling muscles. Her tail and horns were typical demon accoutrements, but she was particularly large. She said she was part ogre, and no one argued with her. “Not a bouncer, Rynnie. You’d be a dancer.”

I snorted and then broke out laughing. “Wow. Yeah, I’m just full of grace and beauty. The only time I’m dancing, I’m also undercover and would end up arresting every pervert who touched me if I didn’t taser them first.” I winced. I really shouldn’t have tasered Sashimi.

She leaned closer, looking interested. “There’s a story there.”

I hurried past her, shaking my head. “You should join the force. Then it’d be a real force.” I waved at her as she laughed her throaty bellow.

“Sure! Once you take over, I’ll sign up first thing. No way I could work for a man like Jossy. Then again, he’s not bad looking. I could kidnap him, keep him as a pet, maybe make a dancer out of him.”

I kept walking, although the image of blustering Lieutenant Joss in a scant dancing outfit was extremely disturbing. A white-haired guy veered into me, or he would have if I didn’t dodge out of his way. He ran into the building instead.

I sighed, readjusted my bag and walked faster. By the time I reached the station, I was feeling more in control.

I smiled at Lewell, who stood at the door, looking serious and professional in his uniform, all except for the streak of frosting on his chin.

“Morning Sato. Joss is looking for you. You left a goblin in the cell overnight?”

I flashed a smile and continued quickly into the station. I walked past the front area where a guy in handcuffs was yelling about owning the streets because he paid taxes, so he could do whatever he wanted there, whether it involved all of his clothing or not. So glad that wasn’t my case today. I went to Lieutenant Joss’s office and knocked even though the door was open.

“Good morning! How’s everyone?” I asked brightly, glancing around at Lieutenant Joss, who was red-faced and chewing a stick of licorice like crazy, as he did since he’d given up smoking. Brannigan was there, frowning over my handcuffs, while Sashimi sat on the couch. No, the goblin lounged, looking relaxed and comfortable in spite of the cuffs on his wrists, and the fact that he’d spent the night on a wooden bench.

“Sato, take off the cuffs,” Lieutenant Joss said, gesturing at the goblin.

“Sir, he’s an intruder. He broke into the building last night, and if I hadn’t been there, he would have done who knows what? He could have broken into the armory, or stolen files, or…”

“Sato! I hired Corcarn to check our security! That is, it was a city initiative, paid for by the people’s taxes. He’s the best in the business, and you’re saying…”

I interrupted. “If he’s so good, why was it so easy for me to take him out? He wasn’t nearly stealthy enough. I heard him from down the hall climbing in the window.”

Lieutenant Joss glowered at me.

“She’s an asset to the force,” Sashimi said, giving me a look of pure mischief. He was having fun with this? Yes. He absolutely was. “Who else could capture Corcarn? None, but you, Rynne Sato with your keen hearing, and whiplash reflexes, who can defeat even a notorious former thief such as myself. You should be commended.”

Brannigan snorted and moved away from the couch. “Commended or committed? Who makes cuffs that can’t be removed?”

I edged closer to Sashimi, studying him suspiciously before I crouched down and focused on the cuffs. I took the key out of Brannigan’s hands, but they weren’t coming off.

I looked up to scowl at Sashimi. “Did you do something to them?”

“That was Brannigan. He may have damaged the lock with his brute strength.”

I sighed heavily and straightened, trying to not feel bad for putting cuffs on Sashimi that were not functioning, that I’d made, and which were so incredibly ugly. Also for mistaking Sashimi for a criminal. Also tasering him. Had he actually been honest with me the whole time? Who hires a goblin to break into something? The whole world was insane.

“After you get those cuffs off him, Sato, I need you to write that report on the judge’s death again,” Lieutenant Joss said, scowling at the cuffs and then at me.

“Wait, what? Why?” I asked, heart sinking. I’d spent hours on that report and had done my very best.

“Judge Stevens killed himself. Your entire report is focused on the possibility of murder, even though it’s not possible. You need to write something unbiased.”

“But assuming it was suicide is biased. I wrote down the facts, nothing more, nothing less. All of my interviews…”

“Were filled with leading questions,” he said, cutting me off. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’m not going to make you do new interviews, just summarize them with more neutral wording. I need us to work as a team to clear up any confusion around this case.”

“But…”

Brannigan nudged me. “Why don’t you work on those cuffs in your office while the Lieutenant makes some important calls? It’s going to be a long morning.”

I grabbed Sashimi’s arm and tugged him with me out of the large office and towards my much more modest one.

“You heard me come through the window two offices away?” he murmured.

I ignored him.

“Has your sense of hearing always been so keen?”

“We aren’t talking about me.” I shot him a look.

He was smiling slightly, eyes twinkling while his silky hair looked positively edible. Did goblins eat hair? Not that I was turning into a goblin.

He asked, “You’d rather talk about me? My career?”

“Your shampoo. What kind do you use?”

He blinked and looked genuinely intrigued. “You’d like to know what kind of shampoo I use? Why would you want to know something so personal about a goblin you were so eager to handcuff and lock up ?” He made it sound like the ultimate in flirtation, like tying someone to a bed wasn’t nearly as exciting as being locked in a police station.

Was I blushing? No, I was too tired for that. “My raccoon needs better shampoo.”

“Your racoon,” he repeated, eyes narrowing. “That explains the smell. Although the alcohol …”

“I took home a drunk raccoon last night, okay? Don’t judge me and my bad life choices. It’s just that your hair is much better than his, particularly matted in blood.”

His brows drew together. “You’re saying that after you locked me up, you went home and partied with a drunk, injured raccoon? You’re fighting the Magga’s spell. You need to rest.” He sounded so serious and irritated that I hadn’t gone right to bed.

“I can’t walk away from an injured creature. I’m a witch.”

He didn’t snort and mock my plant-caring skills, but his left eye did twitch once. “Of course. I forgot to take your witch blood into consideration. Naturally you had to take home a wild creature, with who-knows-how-many diseases, particularly when you’ve never shown any signs of interest in animals before.”

I sighed heavily. I’d known him for ten years. Also, I hadn’t gotten a chance to change my shirt, the one I’d cuddled a disgusting raccoon with, so I must be incredibly rank to his sharp goblin senses.

“Exactly. See? I couldn’t help it. Sit down.” I gestured at my chair at my desk, which was the only chair in the small cramped space. Still, I had my own office.

He sat on my desk, somehow perching on a corner without disturbing any of the mess of papers strewn across it. He held out his hands while I sat down in the chair and started poring over the cuffs. He didn’t talk, just let me focus on the cuffs, running my hands over and under them, between the poorly stitched fabric covered metal and his pale green skin.

The locking mechanism beneath the fabric was mangled. The cuffs couldn’t be salvaged. Great. Months of work on these cuffs, only to be destroyed by Brannigan’s impatience. I’d have to undo the stitching, very carefully, or the magic would maybe explode and kill us, or turn us into kittens, or some other kind of exciting nonsense.

I rummaged in my drawer and came up with a pair of scissors, then I started, one stitch at a time, carefully snipping until the whole thing came unraveled in one big floppy mess, sliding off the cuffs and onto my desk.

I pulled the strands of fabric off, and then Sashimi snapped the braces apart and proceeded to pick the locks with his nails. I sat back and watched the process, which only took a few seconds before the cuffs were on the desk, neatly placed on top of the ribbons.

“Your spellwork was impressive,” he said, dropping off the desk and onto the floor, looking incredibly comfortable with or without the cuffs. “I’m sorry it was ruined.”

I stared at him and my heart and chest went in different directions. My stomach wanted to come up, raw blowfish mixing with guilt. I licked my lips and looked down. “I’m sorry for tasering you. It was not professional of me. Just vindictive. Also wrong.” I sighed and slumped back in my chair, staring at the pile of discarded fabric and metal. Also papers. My life was like that desk. And I had a psycho raccoon in my apartment doing who knew what.

He hesitated and then patted my shoulder. “There, there, little witch-human. Being securely locked up, I had the best sleep I’ve gotten for years.”

“I’m not little,” I mumbled, but I didn’t look at him.

“Your scent is large, but your stature is quite small. You should probably change into one of those extra shirts you have in that extremely small closet before anyone else gets too close.”

I did look up at him then, frowning, but not so much, because I had misjudged him. “Thank you for the excellent advice.”

“You’re really willing to take advice from a goblin?”

“Yes.” I nodded decisively. I’d take advice from anyone sensible.

He leaned closer, peered into my eyes, and said, “Go shopping for a wardrobe that looks good with green.”

“I’m not turning into a goblin,” I snapped.

He raised his hands and edged towards the door. “Sure you aren’t. Magga wouldn’t ever turn humans into goblins and enslave them, using them like your coven uses the weaker members to feed her spells, either. I’ll see you Thursday.” He winked and ducked out of my office before I could throw a stapler at him.

I put it down decisively, shaking my head. What was wrong with me? I didn’t let anyone get to me, but Sashimi, apparently, knew exactly how to make people want to kill him. I’d really been this close to hurling the stapler at his head.

What if he was right? What if I was turning into a goblin? Becoming that cranky old lady’s slave wasn’t going to happen. We weren’t in the old country, wherever she’d come from. Still, I needed to talk to my mom about it. I could hide my work here from her, but big magic? No. She’d kill me if I turned into some goblin slave and didn’t tell her about it. Also the raccoon.

I got out my phone and called her.

“Cat’s Pause. What do you want?”

I spoke as fast as possible. “Hey, mom. It’s Rynne. The other day, Thursday, I ran into a goblin at the train station, and she had me walk her down to goblin town. On the way, she drained me of my energy, but someone said that she may have turned me into a goblin, or I’m in the process of becoming a goblin, something like that. So, I just thought you should know. Gotta go now. I’ve got to change my shirt. Oh! I have a raccoon in my apartment. You know, because I have a strong affinity with wild creatures.”

She sighed so deeply. I winced, and kept wincing because it went on and on and on. She finally said, “I will ask for information about this goblin infection. You will come with me to the next coven meeting.”

“Yeah. I was going to come anyway. I thought I might meet a guy.”

She snorted. “I’m sure. You brought home a raccoon instead of a man. I know how you’ll be with any male witch who looks at you twice. Like the time you wrestled with Pete and dislocated his shoulder, or the time you started talking law with Ivan and made him look like a complete imbecile in front of everyone, or the time…”

“Yes, mother, exactly like that, only without me being so aggressively powerful.”

“You have a reputation, Rynne. Every male there will avoid you. You made sure of that.”

I sighed, but quietly so she wouldn’t hear. “Fine, then I’ll start dating other kinds of people. Humans, and angels. You know, nice men who don’t need to have their precious egos carefully protected.”

Her mocking sniff did not give me a feeling of confidence. “I’m sure you’ve already exhausted all the possibilities at the courthouse. What was that I heard about the judge killing himself? What do you know about that? Is that why you had to rush to work yesterday?”

“Yes, actually. I had to do an interview for the police.” That was almost true.

“Do they think you were involved?”

“No, just about his character, you know, trying to figure out why he’d commit suicide.” If it was suicide.

“I take it you’ll be coming home late. At least you’re in a good neighborhood over there. I’ve got to get to the kitchen. Be careful.”

She hung up, leaving me feeling super excited to rewrite the report to match the story someone had already spread about the judge’s death.

Nope. That feeling of powerless futility stayed with me, growing with every word I changed to make more, ‘unbiased.’ I couldn’t write that it was a suicide, but I did find a few instances where my own interpretations were leaning. After that, I got to do the paperwork about the pixie dust dealer we’d lost thanks to my stepping into the goblin mess.

Finally, I finished up, submitted it, and stood. It was late, and I really wanted to get to my car before it got dark. If the light out my tiny window was any indication, I’d barely make it if I rushed.

So I rushed. When I reached my car, I stopped when I saw the winged guy with glowing red eyes who had been half of the couple in the doorway that morning.

“You’re sitting on my car,” I said, reaching into my bag for my taser.

He smiled, showing white teeth with a few extra fangs. “I’m leaning against it. I didn’t want to miss you. Everyone knows your comings and goings. The pretty little officer who dresses like a lawyer.”

“Does everyone? How splendid. You should know that I’m about to drive away, then. So you shouldn’t be leaning on my car.”

He shrugged helplessly. He was wearing more clothing now than earlier, but his red-hued bare chest was showing beneath his leather jacket. “I didn’t want to miss you.”

I glanced around quickly, making sure this wasn’t a set-up, but we seemed to be alone. “Do you have a crime you’d like to report? Maybe you feel like the lady from earlier was taking advantage of you.”

He smirked. “Lady? That’s amusing. You are amusing and delightful. I’d like to get to know you better.”

I stared at him. He stared back. We stood there staring for a good thirty seconds before I shook my head. “I’m sorry. What do you mean by that?”

“I’d like to take you out to dinner,” he said with a flash of his fine teeth. Was I something he’d like to eat for dinner? Was he the kind of demon who ate more metaphysical things, like desire?

“You want to take me out to dinner? Where?”

“Do you like sushi?”

I blinked at him and pulled my taser. Was he saying that he knew who I really was, threatening to blackmail me if I didn’t pay him or something else?

He took a slight step away from me, hands raised. “Not sushi? Okay. How about Italian? Noodles, not the people from the country.” He chuckled, keeping his distance, but clearly amused by my reactions.

I stared hard at the demon guy. “You mean dating?”

He nodded, looking delighted. “I mean dating.”

“Seriously?”

He pointed at me. “I’d like you,” then pointed to himself, “To come with me, to dinner so that I can get to know you better.”

“Why?”

“I liked your touch. I felt your soul in that touch, and it was delicious. Wrong word. I don’t eat souls, I’m just interested in getting to know you. Have you ever dated a demon? You might like it. You can be whoever you want, whenever you want.”

I was so confused, I didn’t taser him when he came close enough to hand me his card.

“Think about it. Call me if you’re hungry, or bored, or tired of going home alone. Every. Single. Night.”

He winked at me, reminding me of Sashimi, and then sauntered off, a little lash of his tail at the end like a punctuation, or a flirt, or something else I had no idea, because he was a demon. I didn’t date anyone, but a demon had asked me to dinner? He must be crazy. And yet, it might be nice to go out somewhere, wearing a nice shirt that didn’t smell like drunk raccoon. I didn’t have an extra shirt in my tiny closet at work. I should go shopping. And maybe get something that looked nice with green skin.

I shuddered and got in my car, tossing the demon’s card in my bag before I took off.