Page 11

Chapter Eleven

I woke up on the couch with Sashimi wrapped around me, and thoughts of garbage cans filled with tuna dancing through my head. I squinted to see Mr. Raccoon going through my garbage can, holding up a lovely tuna can in triumph.

Sashimi’s arm was right under my cheek. The green was very noticeable in the early morning light, and so was the smell of goblin. Sleeping goblin. Contented goblin. Relaxed, trusting, foolish goblin who was going to get his intestines wrapped around a stick if he didn’t learn some caution.

Weird. I was picking up on the goblin way, I guess. I really, really needed to use the bathroom. I started to slide off the couch, and then he was awake, thoughts going a million miles a second. For a second, his arms held me tight, before he relaxed and I was able to slide to the floor.

“Sh. Go back to sleep,” I whispered, patting his face, then I crept to the bathroom.

When I got there, I stopped, staring at my reflection.

I looked like… My hair. It was in the strangest mohawk, curling around in all kinds of waves because apparently goblin saliva was a very good hair gel. He’d licked my hair. Over and over again. And he’d eaten my dress, which is why I wasn’t wearing anything other than this leather mini-dress without super secure sides, just ties.

I used the bathroom hurriedly and then went out to find Sashimi still on the couch, for all intents and purposes, still sleeping.

“Can I tell you a story?” he asked, eyes closed, apparently not still asleep.

Too bad. I’d kind of wanted to climb back onto the couch with him and snuggle. He was actually surprisingly cozy.

I went to a chair and sat down, picking up a pillow to hold over my dress.

“A story?”

“The most dangerous assassination attempt I’ve ever faced was years and years ago. A charming, delicate, entirely sweet human came to the goblin market. She was clothed in the most alluring gown imaginable, made from saramac flowers. I couldn’t resist until I got close enough to smell her skin, and then I recognized her as family. Goblins don’t have incest, but I was tempted. Instead of falling to her charms, I escaped to the edges of the market, watching her dance with goblins, lured in by their fruit, their promises, and then, one by one, they started dropping dead. That pretty little human was not at all innocent. She’d actually come for the sole purpose of killing me. She was a relative of mine, ergo she must have come to avenge one of her ancestors who had been stolen away by an idiot Goblin King. She must have made a deal with a demon to have a touch that killed, all to avenge her relative and to kill me. And that is the history of the dress I ate last night. I have no idea how your friend came into possession of it, but I am positive it is the same one, spelled purple.”

“It doesn’t sound like you came close to being assassinated.”

“No? But after I ate the dress, I was in such a state that you could have killed me almost easily. A little beheading, sticking me out in the sun, and I probably would stay very dead.”

I made a face at him, not that he could appreciate it when his eyes were still closed. “That’s as close as you’ve come to being assassinated? That is so disappointing.”

“Not at all. It’s exciting. My life was entirely in your hands last night, and you didn’t even think about taking it. I have you in slavery, Lady Justice.”

I snorted. “I’m under your protection. If it wasn’t for you cleverly finding a use for me alive, I’d be dead. No one else would bother keeping me alive. But did you have to lick my hair?” I asked, reaching up to touch the dark curls and licks that were like a churning ocean scene.

“I asked.” He opened his eyes, winced when he saw me, and closed them again. “I shouldn’t have asked. You’re going to think that goblins are entirely uncivilized. Eating dresses, licking hair, biting mouths…”

I shivered at the memory and hugged the pillow to my chest. “What? Goblins uncivilized? What a surprise. At least you weren’t wearing human skin. Speaking of, I should take a shower and change.” I stood up and turned to leave, but he snagged my calf and pulled me back onto the couch, so I landed awkwardly draped over him.

He wrapped me in the blanket and then pulled me back into my original position. “Tell me, since I’m doing it all wrong, what are the proper methods of the snuggle?”

“The snuggle? You can’t call it ‘the snuggle’,” I said, hesitating before I sighed and relaxed against him. It’s what I wanted to do, and I could fall back asleep.

“Noted. What else?” he murmured, adjusting the blanket over my shoulder.

“You’re supposed to be relaxed. Goblins are usually not.”

He slumped, arm over me, completely limp. “Like that?”

I smiled and shifted against him until we were in the perfect position. “Pretty good.”

“Anything else?”

“Sh. I’m going to fall back to sleep.”

“Okay,” he whispered.

And then I drifted off until my door opened and in walked my brother, eating a breakfast burrito.

I blinked at him, feeling weird. Had all of that been a dream? Sashimi wouldn’t have stayed with me all night, except that he was unconscious. He certainly wouldn’t stay with me while I slept, just to snuggle, but there was something over my hip, warm, like an arm or a raccoon. It was probably the raccoon.

I’m going to sneak up on him and bite his ankles.

I looked over, and there was Mr. Raccoon in my kitchen, a box of cereal in one hand, while he peered at my brother with a snarl on his mouth.

“No. You can’t bite him or he’ll bite you back, and you have no idea where his mouth has been.”

Tarn looked from me to the raccoon and back again. “I thought it went away.” He shook his head and scowled at me, pointing behind me. Where Sashimi probably was. No way he was sleeping, but he didn’t twitch. “What are you doing in bed with that filthy goblin?”

“It’s not a bed,” I said immediately, not that it helped. “We were just snuggling.”

He looked even more shocked. “Goblins don’t snuggle.”

“I know. I was teaching him how to snuggle. It was a bit of an ordeal, but I think he finally nailed it. You were right about goblins being rapacious, though. He ate my dress.”

Sashimi made this small sigh I could feel more than hear. “And now everyone’s going to think that goblins run around eating random people’s clothing. That dress was made out of…”

I cut him off. He’d eaten my dress. The details were unessential. “So, are you just going to stand there staring at us, or are you going to bring us breakfast burritos?”

Tarn had the most shocked look on his face. “I’m not bringing you and your lover breakfast burritos! Are you completely insane?”

“Then you should leave. You can’t just come in here without sharing. It’s rude. Also, we aren’t lovers, we’re seriously dating. Sashimi, that is, Corcarn the Goblin Authority, is my boyfriend. Exciting, right? Thus, the need to teach him how to snuggle. I wouldn’t bother with just any rapacious goblin. He’s special.”

My brother shook his head, speechless for a moment. Finally, he pointed at my hair. “And that? What evil sorcery did that to your hair?”

I patted it. “You don’t like it? Clary put this amazing product in it, but turns out it was?—”

Sashimi covered up my mouth, cutting me off as he sat up behind me. “Your sister is still uncharacteristically talkative from the dangerous spell we ran into last night.”

I bit his fingers. He didn’t flinch or remove them.

My brother scowled at him. “So, you aren’t actually dating?”

Sashimi sighed. “We are dating. Yes.”

My brother threw his breakfast burrito at Sashimi, who caught it, with the hand not pressed gently over my mouth.

“You swore you weren’t stalking her! You made me learn how to fix her car when I caught you working on it! All these years of manly bonding and it’s a lie?”

Manly what? And Sashimi’s the one who had been tuning up Hatchet? Well, of course he had. I was under his protection. Still, fixing my car seemed a little much.

Sashimi finally removed his hand and put the breakfast burrito to my mouth. I took a large bite, scraping his thumb with my teeth. What was it about goblins biting? Also, my brother’s face was turning different shades of purple.

Sputtering, Tarn shook his head and stepped out, slamming the door behind him.

“Why didn’t you want me to tell him that you licked my hair?” I asked once I’d finished chewing the burrito. “I think it’s hilarious. The Goblin Authority personally styled my hair.”

“He would think it was me marking my territory. Replacing the scents of others with my own.”

I shrugged. “That would also be hilarious.” Actually, kind of depressing. He’d been dress-drunk, as illustrated by the way he’d licked my hair so much. I yawned and stretched, then rolled off the couch. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll let you use it once I’m done.” I left the blanket draped over him as I headed to the bathroom again.

My hair was still shocking. I took a picture of it before I used the shower. It took a lot of effort using my pine-stink shampoo, but eventually it all went down like it was supposed to. He could market his spit as miracle hair gel. I felt kind of cheerful in spite of having nothing to show for the night before. I’d gotten the Goblin Authority to snuggle with me. And he was horribly embarrassed about eating my dress and licking my hair. He must have been truly, terribly wasted.

When I came out, he was watering my plants, without a shirt.

He glanced at me and then back at the raccoon, who was balanced on his arm, trying to catch a fish out of the watering can.

“Mr. Racoon, there are no fish in the small container,” I said.

It’s good to check, he said in my head. Would I ever get used to that? Probably not.

Sashimi cleared his throat. “Your work called. You should probably find out what they wanted.”

I hurried to my bag, digging it out of my depths while he mumbled something about showering. I started the message and then winced when Lieutenant Joss roared.

“Sato! Get into the station right now! Did you actually interrogate people at the governor’s ball? Do you want our funding stripped?” And then he hung up, and the message ended.

I hurried to my bedroom and dressed, braiding my hair away from my face as I put on a fresh white shirt and dark gray pantsuit.

When I came out, Sashimi was wearing a towel and showing off hard, lean muscles that took my breath for a second. The morning light played over them while he flipped an omelet onto a plate and took it over to my couch, which is where I usually ate.

“You should eat before you go. What are you going to tell Lieutenant Joss?”

“What?” I sat down and started eating, because I really couldn’t say no to food before I had to face my boss in a bad mood.

“Never mind. I’m sure whatever you say will be fine. Now that we’re dating, you should probably use my parking garage.”

I snorted. “Your parking garage? The Granite is a bit far from the police station.”

“I own the building across from the police station, and it has a very secure parking lot. It has a dentist office, along with a few other health professionals.” He picked up his tuxedo jacket, which was over by the window we’d come in the night before and got an envelope out of the inner pocket. He brought it over to me, holding it out, a weird hesitance in his eyes.

“You have a parking garage across from the police station? That’s weird.”

“I own many buildings.”

“Right, but the odds of you owning the one across from the station, and of course the fact that you were working on my car, does make you sound slightly fixated.” I squinted at him while he stood there, hand outstretched, holding a parking garage pass that made my fingers itch.

I snatched it out of his hand before I could talk myself out of it. “Thanks. I’ll use it well.”

He smiled, an absolutely dangerous close-mouthed smile that made me wonder if I was playing into his hands before he nodded and backed away from me. “In that case, I’ll see you later.”

“Sure.”

He went over to the window, still wearing his towel, but carrying his pants, jacket, and my raccoon, and then he left, just climbed out, and was gone, leaving me startled into making my own exit, but through the door. And I had a parking pass right across the street? I would make much better time to the office, even if I had stopped to eat and ogle the goblin I’d slept with. Snuggled. I suppose it wasn’t that weird that a clever goblin could learn to snuggle, but at the same time, it was so, so weird.

Lieutenant Joss was bellowing from his office when I came in. Lewell gave me an empathetic wince when he saw me. “Seems like you had an eventful evening.”

“Sato, get in here,” the lieutenant growled at me, making me wonder if he had traces of ogre blood.

I was already halfway there and greeted him with a smile I hoped would calm him down. “How can I help you?”

He closed the door behind me, leaving me and him and his ringing phone together. He ran a hand through his hair and then grabbed a bag of licorice off the desk, tearing it open. “Look, Sato, you can’t go into the governor’s ball and start interviewing people. Everyone’s calling me to complain about it. Clay corp, the city hall, the mayor. Absolutely everyone wants to know why I think it’s fine to send one of my men into their midst when they’re trying to do business. I need to suspend you.”

I stared at him. “Suspend me? You can’t. I was there on a private date. I didn’t flash my badge or use the name of the station.”

“They say you compelled everyone to speak, that they couldn’t resist your truth compulsion. You used magic on them, like you used it on the Goblin Authority. He never would have appeared in public, unmasked, on the arm of a witch.”

I snorted. “My magic? You think it’s easy to use compulsion on a group that large? You think I have that much magic? I can read auras, not control minds. You can’t suspend me in the middle of this murder case.”

His face turned purple, but he kept his voice level. “This murder case? You mean suicide.”

“I mean murder. You can’t expect anyone to believe that these deaths aren’t linked. No one is that stupid!”

He scowled at me, but he only chewed on his licorice vigorously. “You know that we’re short-handed, Sato. Otherwise, I’d suspend you for good. As it is, you’re going to check out this list of complaints.” He took a small sheet of paper and slapped it on the edge of his desk. “Car robbery, a domestic abuse dispute, a burglary, and on the way back, stop and ticket the cars illegally parked in front of the mayor’s house. Get out.”

“I don’t actually have work today,” I said. “It’s the weekend.”

His scowl doubled. “You know who’s here today to answer complaints about your stunt last night? You wanna talk about interrupted weekend plans?”

I hesitated and then shrugged and left, reading the list he’d handed me. It was a rather long list of case numbers that would keep me busy all day. Perfect. That meant I wouldn’t have to talk to my brother, or my parents, or anyone else who wanted to know what I was thinking, dating a goblin. As I worked, it bothered me. It being the fact that my boss wasn’t connecting the two deaths. How was it possible for them to not be connected? It was incomprehensible, and yet, there he was, not linking them. It’s almost like he had an ulterior motive for preaching the suicide story.

I stopped filing papers on the car robbery I’d covered and sat down in my chair instead. We were talking about corruption with a judge and a state rep. If corruption could be at those levels, why not in a police station?

I hurriedly finished my report, then took it out of my office and down the hall, towards the back stairs that led down into the records room. The older reports hadn’t been digitized yet. Of course not. We barely had the staff to keep up with current cases.

I went into the records room, past the desk where Nills usually sat dozing, far past the age of retirement, but he wasn’t here on weekends. I filed the car robbery report and then closed my eyes and tried to read the aural imprints left on the papers. That was advanced work that I’d never been able to do before, but combined with my sense of smell, I found the last half dozen cases that Lieutenant Joss had personally touched, leaving a faint blur of energy as well as the scent of licorice.

With those files tucked under my arm, I headed up the stairs, heart pounding as I tried not to look suspicious. I’d made it past Lieutenant Joss’s office with the papers and could breathe, except that I actually registered the face of the man coming towards me, walking with Lewell, probably towards Joss’s office.

His eyes met mine, and he smiled, showing dimples that no respectable warlock should have.

“Winston Warlock, the detective?” I breathed. No. He was a television character, not a real person, and he did his show on the coast, not here in Singsong City.

His smile deepened as he took my folder out of unresponsive fingers and pulled out a pen. “Who should I make the autograph out to?” he asked, much flirtier than he was on the show. Not that I watched it often. It was over-the-top ridiculous.

I jerked the folder containing possible evidence out of his hands. “Sorry, no. I’m not a fan. I just recognized you from all the posters in bedrooms growing up.” I bit my bottom lip when I realized what I’d said. “I mean, other witch’s bedrooms, not mine. I had posters of Harriet Knightley, only I had them in the back of my closet so my mother wouldn’t see. She doesn’t approve of female cops. Too dangerous.”

He blinked at me. “You’re a witch? I could hardly tell with all the goblin energy wrapped around you.”

It was my turn to blink. “Right. You’re an actual warlock, not just an actor.”

He smiled with teeth that time. He slipped his arm in mine and smiled at Lewell. “I’m sure she can show me to the big boss’s office.”

Lewell looked at me. I shrugged, because Winston the Warlock’s aura was incredibly stable. “Sure I can.” Holding reports I wasn’t supposed to be looking over, which may or may not implicate my boss. “What brings you to Singsong, and specifically to our police station? Did someone break into your car?”

He gave me another smile, but held me back so we were walking very slowly to Joss’s office. “I actually heard about a witch stirring up trouble in public circles, trouble like I haven’t heard of in some time. The Singsong City coven is completely unregulated as well as undocumented. Very few covens aren’t registered, so it’s hard for me to properly represent you, but I will try.”

I stared at him, confused. “You, Winston Warlock, are here to register witches?”

He flashed another smile. “Of course not. I’m here to convince your coven to register themselves after I pacify the pitchfork group. There are far more pros than cons to being affiliated.”

“There’s only one con that anyone cares about here. Registration goes against the wild and free spirit of witchcraft. Portalia will refuse.”

“Perhaps, but as it’s a wild and free coven, each member can decide for themselves.”

I snorted. “You haven’t met Portalia.”

“No, I’ve never come to the Singsong City Coven, most likely because I was unaware of its existence until you showed up on my radar. You are the witch who crashed the governor’s ball and began compelling everyone left and right to answer your questions, aren’t you?”

I blinked at him. “No. I mean, I was there, but I didn’t compel anyone. That’s ridiculous. I can only read auras.”

His expression smoothed. “Of course, just gossip about witches being evil and dangerous. Nothing new there. Are there any good snacks at the coven meetings?”

I blinked at him. “Snacks?”

“Some have terrible snacks. I hope your coven isn’t in such a state.”

“I hardly ever go to the coven meetings, but they do have good sausage rolls sometimes, if Clary’s there.”

“Clary Sage?” he asked, but there was something off about his incredibly casual question.

I squinted at him, reading his aura. It was big. Bold. And very, very intent on me and my information, however casual he might be pretending to be.

I took two steps away from him. “Anyway, I should get back to work. This is Lieutenant Joss’s office. Best of luck with your interview.”

He flashed me another smile with those dimples. “I don’t need luck. Perhaps after I speak with him, you can take me to the coven meeting. They’re still in session, right?”

As if there was something official about Saturdays at the coven grove. Thursday was the civilized day, and they had plenty of frolicking before they’d spent all of Friday drinking home brew. By Saturday, it was absolute chaos. “I’m hardly a member. They don’t even know that I’m a cop.”

“Ah.” His expression cleared. “Because your mother doesn’t approve of female officers. You did mention that. I suppose I could find my own way, but if you drove me, I’d make sure I didn’t use your name as the reason I was there, Miss Rynne Sato.”

I flinched and bared my teeth in a smile. “I’m working. I can’t just take off to introduce some blackmailing warlock.”

“And if your boss invites you to take me?”

I frowned at him. There was something extremely dangerous about him, both his intensity and confidence. “I would appreciate you not mentioning my work,” I finally said.

“Perfect. I’ll see you soon.” He winked at me and then entered my boss’s office without knocking.