Page 26

Grosvenor Square, Mayfair

London, England

“P apa, we need to talk.”

Lydia came into her father’s study as the longcase clock on the floor above chimed the midday hour. All through breakfast, she’d worried and wondered as her mind spun with confliction and confusion.

“Poppet, is all well?” Immediately, he rose from to his feet and came around his desk of cherrywood, because of course being a physician, he would draw the worst conclusions. “Has something happened?”

“No. Everything is well; I am fine.” The poor, dear man.

She waved him back into his chair as she settled into one of the comfortable leather ones in front of his desk.

They had been in each study of every home they’d lived in since her father had become a doctor.

“I haven’t spent much time with you over the past couple of weeks. ”

“My schedule has been uncommonly busy, but I appreciate your assistance with my patients. And I can’t help that my social calendar is also full.” He frowned as he rested his gaze on her. “There is something else, though, isn’t there? It has nothing to do with patients or the practice.”

“Well, it does in a roundabout way, I suppose.” And perhaps it was a good way to ease into the conversation.

“I know you have been wanting to expand your patient base into a space that is larger than the office you have now, so I’ve been looking around.

There is a spot for let in a building on Brook Street, near the Stapleton Boxing Salon that I think you should inquire about.

It would allow for a more efficient practice, and I could take the lead when you are out at Cambridge for your lectures. ”

“I appreciate the insight. Perhaps tomorrow you and I can convince the owner to give us a tour.” He steepled his fingers, then rested his hands on the papers spread over his desktop. “However, I’ll wager that is not what’s truly on your mind or why you sought me out.”

Mild heat filled her cheeks. “It is not.”

Her father nodded. “What did you wish to talk about then?”

Did she even know herself? “I fear it’s quite complicated.”

“The most important things in our life usually are, or that is what our minds tell us, when in reality, we only think that.” He grinned, and his eyes were kind.

“We tell ourselves those important notions are complicated as a way to talk ourselves out of pursuing them, for we assume that they will cause too much work or too much heartbreak.”

“What if the worry is caused by neither of those options?”

“Then I’ll encourage you to continue thinking about it and go deeper, for it will always be one of those things.

” Once more, he stood up and came around the desk, but this time he settled into the leather chair that matched hers.

“It’s not often you come to me for advice.

Even from a young age, you knew exactly what you wanted from life and how to go about chasing it. ”

She allowed herself a small smile. “This is true.”

“And not even once did you allow your mother’s suggestions on learning the skills a society lady should know distract you.

” When she didn’t answer, her father sighed.

“So why do I have a feeling you have something—or someone—that you now consider a threat to the trajectory of your life in that life? And you don’t know what to do about it? ”

“How do you know me so well?”

He shrugged. “I’ve known you all your life, and have been with you every step of the way.

” Compassion shadowed his eyes. “Can I assume that you are worried over a certain boxer you met at that bout two weeks ago? The same man that keeps a blush in your cheeks and a sparkle in your eyes each time you come home?”

Oh, dear.

She blew out a breath. “How much do you know or perhaps suspect?”

“Very little, so it would help if you started at the beginning.” When he reached out and took one of her hands in his, tears sprang into her eyes, for it reminded her of when she was a little girl and would come to him for advice.

“And remember, there is no shame in changing your mind on certain things, if that is what’s happening. ”

“I don’t know, and that’s why all of this is so confusing!” Spending a few seconds trying to order her emotions, Lydia finally sighed. “I met Viscount Wexley at that bout you and I attended.”

“Yes, I know, and I also saw you initiate a kiss at that time as well.”

The heat in her cheeks intensified. “What can I say? He is quite attractive, and I wanted to know what it would feel like.”

“You were always quite progressive in your thinking and actions, much to your mother’s embarrassment, but only when she wanted you to be a society lady.” He winked. “All the other times, she was inordinately proud of you for standing up for what you believed.”

“I miss her so much,” Lydia whispered as she clung to her father’s hand.

“Talking to her would have been such a comfort right now.” She pressed her lips together as she thought about her next words.

“Suffice it to say, I have been going by Stapleton’s Boxing Salon regularly to see Lord Wexley, or rather Alexander.

He has been giving me boxing lessons, which is a good thing since Colin has now come to London and has taken to following me about and trying to physically encourage me to give him another chance. ”

“In other words, he’s attacked you.” Her father’s expression turned to a thundercloud.

“Yes.” She nodded. “The first time, you were at a society function, and I couldn’t locate Ian, so I sent a missive to Alexander and asked that he come to call because I didn’t wish to be alone.

” And the aftermath of that visit was still so lovely and fresh in her mind that tingles of renewed need fell down her spine.

With a little shiver, she continued. “In any event, he has indicated an interest in paying his addresses to me.”

“Oh?” His eyebrows rose with surprise. “And you are allowing that?”

“I am, only in as far as to discover if we would even suit.”

“Does he realize you aren’t the world’s greatest supporter of marriage?”

“He does… and he keeps coming ’round anyway.”

“How interesting.” Her father squeezed her fingers. “I’m impressed with his determination even if it means he’ll be ultimately disappointed once matters between you grow intense.”

“Ah, Papa.” Lydia shook her head as emotions rose into her throat.

“It already has, and this relationship is so confusing, because he is not behaving as I would expect a man to, as I have already seen men act.” She raised his hand and pressed his palm to her cheek.

“But Alexander is nothing like those men, and what is more, he shows it time and time again. He is always there, telling me I’m not alone, reassuring me that he will support me in whatever decisions I wish to make should the two of us continue the courtship. ”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand where the complication comes in,” her father said with a grin that indicated he did, indeed, know, but just wanted her to say it aloud.

She huffed, and ruffled a few curls on her forehead.

“As much as I’ve spoken out against the ills that come along with marriage and the very real threat of losing my freedom if I fall victim to that state, I…

Well, I fear I’m starting to fall for the viscount.

Soon, it won’t be long until I lose my heart to him, and that terrifies me. ”

“Why? From everything you’ve said, he sounds like the perfect match for you. Not overbearing or brash but not a pushover who won’t let you walk all over him.”

“Because it might mean that I was wrong. About marriage, and about everything else in my life, so what if I was wrong about wishing to be a doctor?” She pulled away, but he stilled her by taking her hand in his again.

“I have never known that I wanted to do anything else in my life other than healing people who are hurting.”

“But what about healing yourself, poppet? Your heart needs attention the same as anyone else.” For long moments, they were silent before he spoke again. “Does he make you happy?”

“I’m beginning to suspect that he does. He is funny and charming, has a head for business, and if he will learn how to stand up for himself against his family, I think he could really make a difference at the boxing salon.” She shook her head. “As much as I adore appreciating his form—”

Her father held up a hand, palm outward. “I don’t wish to hear about that,” he interrupted with a cheeky grin.

Heat sank into her cheeks once more. “He is a passable boxer, and he persists in having the dream that he’ll continue to enter bouts for the purpose of winning a prize purse, but I fear he will be hurt beyond my skill in fixing him one of these days.

” Knots of worry pulled in her belly. “I understand that he wishes to sort his future in the event he does want marriage, yet why can’t he understand that I don’t need anything fancy or luxurious, and instead, I only need… ”

“…him,” her father said in a soft voice with a nod of encouragement.

“You only need him. And that no doubt frightens you too, because up until now, you have been quite self-sufficient in your life. You’ve done everything yourself, relied on yourself.

Now you must consider his feelings and his dreams, figure out how they might fit in with yours, and you wonder if you’ll suddenly be subsumed within that. ”

“Yes, there is that, of course, but what if I truly do want marriage with him when all is said and done?”

“That isn’t a crime, poppet, especially if you love him.”

“And I’m terrified of what might happen should I fall pregnant.”

Her father nodded. “I suppose being trained as a physician doesn’t help with that, but even with the knowledge of everything that can go wrong, there is more than enough hope that things will go right.

” Again, he took her hand. “Don’t let fretting about what might happen in the future take away from the happiness or joy there is to be found in life now. ”