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“Partially. I am also trying to puzzle out where I would like my future to go beyond having you in it.” She frowned, dropped her attention to the amber depths of her teacup.

“Is it folly to continue to push, to fight so hard for my own place in this world when seemingly everyone is against that?” Knots of worry, or perhaps fear, pulled in her stomach.

“As much as I believe fully that I am here to practice medicine, will I miss out on other equally vital parts of life if I pursue this? Am I harming my reputation by continuing to go against societal norms?”

Harming your reputation by keeping company with me?

“I have had those moments. Hell, I’m second guessing myself right now and fighting with the same doubts regarding what I’m supposed to do in my own future, as you know.

” He paused to take a drink of tea. “However, none of that means you—we—are on the wrong track. It merely means we aren’t content to go with the status quo in chasing the life we truly want. ”

“Why must you always present things in such a logical manner that it helps soothe my nerves?”

He shrugged with a grin as he reached for a honey cake on the tea tray. “Perhaps I just have that knack.”

“Mmm.” When tears prickled the backs of her eyelids, Lydia blinked until the urge to cry passed. She cleared her throat. “Did you know that chocolate was once used in ancient Aztec cultures as currency as well as an aphrodisiac?”

“I did not.” Again, he sent a glance about the immediate area.

No one paid the slightest attention to them.

He lowered his voice to a barely audible whisper.

“However, where you are concerned, I don’t need enhancements or things to help stir my desire.

” When he winked, shivers of the same played her spine.

“You alone have my attention, and I’m as addicted as an opium addict. ”

Dear heavens, he is so charming! “Must be the hair and the faint accent,” she said in a breathless whisper. “I have been told I’m quite fascinating.”

“Without a doubt you are.”

While Alexander happily made a feast of some of the pastries on the tray, she had the odd notion of continuing to tease him.

He made it so easy, and he also made her feel quite daring at times.

“What if I told you that I wished we were alone with this cup of drinking chocolate because I want nothing more than to lick it from your naked body?”

“Is that right?” A red flush made its way up his neck and into his cheeks as his eyes rounded.

“Oh, yes.” She took another sip of the chocolate, and when a drop of it clung to her bottom lip, she whisked it away with the tip of her tongue, making sure that he watched.

In the veriest of whispers, she continued.

“Can you imagine what that would feel like as I chased a trail of chocolate down your torso, past that wonderfully ridged abdomen, and then finally swirled my tongue around the tip of your oh so rigid member, so I could lick away every bit of that dark sweetness?”

The dear man shifted on his chair. Did that mean he needed to accommodate a burgeoning arousal?

“The only way I would allow that would be if I could return the favor.” Wicked promise glittered in his eyes as he kept his voice to a bare whisper.

“I would make certain to drizzle that liquid brew over your breasts and spend copious amounts of time licking every bit of it away from your soft skin, paying intense attention to your sensitive nipples.” When he again touched her hand, Lydia nearly jumped in her chair. “But I wouldn’t stop there.”

“Oh?”

“I would not. In fact, I would continue to lick that thin trail of chocolate down your body, suck it away from your skin, and during the quest to leave none of the sticky substance behind, I might blow a breath over the wetness. When gooseflesh rippled on your belly, I would continue my path, over your mons, spreading you open as I went, just to make certain none of that lovely chocolate had found its way to that swelling button at your center. Then I would close my lips around that bud, suckle it while flicking it with my tongue.”

“Do stop,” she implored in a whisper as she fanned her face with a hand.

“Never say you’re wildly uncomfortable, Miss Tetford.” Humor threaded through his voice. “Perhaps you should go straight home if you’re feeling feverish.”

“Rogue.” She shook her head. He played the game as well as she.

“Too bad we’re not at a corner table, for I’d try for some stimulation and perhaps slip over the edge either with your help or not.

” It took all her willpower not to touch that spot between her thighs through her skirting to relieve the ache of longing he’d started with his words.

But even she wasn’t that daring or bold.

His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow, but his eyes had darkened. “I would be happy to assist you in that, if you would like to remove from this place?”

With a grin, she shook her head. “I would rather finish my tea, but I have no doubt that you might prove my downfall if I’m not careful.”

Quickly, his expression sobered. “There is no doubt that I’ll be there to catch you if you fall, Miss Tetford.”

“So I am beginning to see.” She took refuge in sipping her tea. Oddly, the thought didn’t incite as much fear as she thought it would.

“Tell me about your locket. I’ve seen you wear it a few times, and now I’m curious.” He gave her another wink. “At least it will give us both a distraction.”

“Indeed.” She touched a fingertip to the golden oval that rested just above the tops of her breasts.

Then she gingerly opened the locket so he could see the tiny painted portraits of her parents.

“This is my mother and father shortly after they were married. I adored how they were during that time in their lives, and if I ever marry, I would like to hope my union will be as solid and as full of love and respect as theirs was.”

Alexander peered at the miniatures, then he closed the locket with a snap. “You resemble both your parents.” Again, he touched her hand. “I’m sorry about the loss of your mother.”

“Thank you. I miss her every day. Sometimes, I think to turn to her and tell her something… but she’s not there, and the grief hits me anew.

” Once more, she had no choice except to show vulnerability in front of him.

“I wear the locket to keep them both close, and to also remember that love is nothing to sneeze at.”

“Or nothing to avoid out of fear?” he added in a low voice.

“Yes.” How did he know her so well? “Yet the fear persists, for life is fragile, as you well know. My mother perished from an ailment she should have been able to fight.” She pressed her lips together as she thought about her next words.

“I am a physician without the credentials, but I am well aware of the dangers that come with pregnancy and childbirth. It is quite terrifying. Perhaps that is also why I’m avoiding being wed.

” Tears welled in her eyes. “I can’t explain it better than that. ”

“While I understand what you are saying, and I have those same fears—because who wants to lose a wife in the process of birthing a child who might also die?—please try to bear in mind that when you wed, you will not be alone. And if the man you select cares anything about you, if you truly don’t wish for children, he will make every effort to follow those wishes. ”

“Even if it’s not fair to him?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“Marriage means a partnership, and as far as I’m concerned, that means treating a wife as an equal in everything—including decisions that affect a shared future.

” He shrugged. “Love is powerful, Lydia, and can be enjoyed no matter what happens between a couple. The key is communication, so don’t think to keep your concerns bottled up. ”

“I’ll try and remember that,” she managed to gasp out, as a couple of tears fell to her cheeks.

It boggled her mind that Alexander was so different in his thinking than Colin.

When he gave her his handkerchief, she nodded her thanks, then dabbed at her cheeks.

His scent clung to the fabric, and she surreptitiously sniffed it.

“Don’t borrow trouble, Miss Tetford,” he said in a slightly louder voice, then laid a hand on hers.

When she turned her hand palm upward, she threaded their fingers together and clung to him for a few seconds before putting her hands in her lap.

“Fate is not done with you yet, and unless I miss my guess, you will not meet misery.”

“How can you know that?”

He grinned. “You are too forthright to let that happen.”

“Perhaps.” Hiding a smile behind her teacup, she stifled a sigh.

What am I to do with you?