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CHAPTER 12
EMBER
I’m an employee, nothing more, nothing less.
“How are you, really?”
Tears threaten to spill over my lashes at the concern in Lori’s voice. We’ve been best friends for as long as I can remember, and she’s the only person in my life who knows how long it took to piece myself back together after breaking off my engagement to Ghost.
“I’m fine.” My voice cracks, giving away the lie.
“Bullshit. I know you, Em. Sometimes more than you know yourself, I’m afraid.”
Sighing, I swipe at the wetness on my cheeks. “Why did I agree to do this?”
My first day with Mrs. West—I can’t bring myself to call her ‘Mom’ no matter how many times she insists—has been torture. One minute, I’m the enemy, and the next, I’m her future daughter-in-law. I should’ve expected it, but I failed to realize how hard it would be to work with a patient who I’ve got a history with.
“There’s a reason doctors aren’t supposed to treat family members,” Lori says, echoing my thoughts.
“She’s not family,” I insist.
“Close enough.”
“How am I going to get through this, Lor?” I ask. “It could be years before the disease takes her. Years!”
“You can always tell Parker th?—”
“Ghost,” I correct her, hating myself for it.
“What?”
I heave a sigh and lie back on the bed in my temporary bedroom. “It’s Ghost now.”
“Oh, yeah.” She laughs. “I forgot he’s a big bad biker.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to defend him, but I don’t. Why should I? “Anyway, you were saying?”
“Tell Ghost that you can’t do it,” she finishes her earlier thought. “Recommend another nurse for him and bail.”
I’d be lying if I said the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. It definitely has… dozens of times.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because. I just… can’t.”
“More like you won’t.”
“That too.”
“But why? I don’t understand why you’re punishing yourself like this.”
“I’m not punishing myself.”
“Yeah, you are,” she snaps. “Just like you did after he moved to Oregon.”
“This has nothing to do with that.”
“Doesn’t it?” she counters. “Admit it, if this were any other patient, you’d have been out the door by now.”
She’s wrong about that, but it’s not surprising. Lori never did understand how I could work with people whose disease causes them to treat me like shit half the time.
“I’ve never walked out on a job, and I’m not gonna start now.”
There’s a long pause as if she’s biting back some retort that will piss me off. “Okay,” she finally says. “What can I do to make this better? How can I help?”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “I just have to treat this like any other job, right?”
“Right,” she agrees, her tone too bright, too agreeable. “What if we have a girl’s night soon? When will you get time off?”
“I’ve got one day a week off,” I tell her. “And before you tell me that’s insane, it was my idea.”
“Wasn’t gonna say any such thing,” she quips.
I laugh. “Uh huh.”
“Okay, fine, I was. But I won’t now.”
“Thanks, Lor.”
“You’re welcome. So, when is your day off?”
“Um, I don’t know. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Ghost about it before he had to go this morning. He said he’d be back, but…” I pull the phone away from my ear and glance at the time, and annoyance flares when I see that it’s after ten. “Well, it’s late, so I guess it’ll have to wait until tomorrow.”
Or whenever he decides to show his face again.
“As soon as you do know, call me. We’ll figure something out.”
“I will,” I promise her.
“Okay. Try to have a good night.”
“You, too. Love ya.”
“Back at ya.”
I disconnect the call before getting to my feet to go check on Mrs. West. She went to bed an hour ago, after I assured her that I’d make myself at home. I wasn’t the enemy an hour ago.
The woman is sleeping soundly, and I leave her bedroom door cracked so I can hear her if she gets up in the middle of the night. I learned the hard way with my very first patient that sometimes, they wake and get confused which can lead to a walk to nowhere in particular.
Just as I’m about to shut off the last light in the living room, a sound at the front door pulls my focus from my task. A second later, Ghost walks in like he owns the place.
Well, it is his mother’s house, the house he grew up in.
“What are you doing here?” I hiss, my voice barely above a whisper.
“Hi to you too,” he says dryly.
“Do you have any idea what time it is?” I demand.
“Do you have any idea whose house you’re in?” he counters, and I press my lips together. “That’s better. Now, I’m sorry it’s late, but this was the earliest I could get here. I told you I’d be back, and I didn’t want to make a liar out of myself.”
Oh, well… That’s kinda sweet.
“Oh.”
He smirks, and my stomach flips over on itself. Dammit, that smirk always could knock the wind out of my sails.
“How was today? Wanting to run screaming for the hills yet?”
“No, I’m not gonna run. As for today, it was… good.”
He takes a step toward me. “Ember Tamlin, are you lying to me?”
“No. It was good. We had our bumps, but your mom is safe and sound in bed.”
“I was more worried about you.”
“I thought you said you didn’t want to be a liar.”
He huffs out a laugh. “Seriously, how was she today?”
“She was fine. Good moments and bad, but that’s normal.”
We spend the next half hour discussing his mother and all the ways in which he’s seen her slipping away from him. Several times I find myself having to hold back the comfort I want to offer. That’s not my place anymore. I’m an employee, nothing more, nothing less.
And a one-time only one-night stand.
By the time he leaves, a promise to relieve me for a day off in three days, my nerves are fried.
You can do this, Ember. You have to do this.