Page 31 of Gates of Rapture (The Guardians of Ascension #6)
Transformation
Begins in the soul.
— Collected Proverbs, Beatrice of Fourth
After James left, Thorne suggested that he and Leto move to the command center so that Alison could work with Grace on her obsidian flame skills.
But as Thorne headed back to the central rotunda, Grace took Leto’s hand, holding him back. “This is fantastic news.”
He nodded. He had a wind-blasted look. “I just can’t believe it.” He glanced at the papers in his hand. “Well, I know what I’ll be doing for the next few hours.” He met her gaze again. “To think I could win them over.”
Grace was ready to agree, but it was Endelle who came forward and put her hand on his shoulder.
“The man who gave that speech at the opening ceremonies of the warrior games could win back the entire army, given enough time. Shit, Leto, I’m fucking glad you’re home.
” She looked down at her feet. “Hold on a second.”
She folded off her stilettos and what do you know, Leto was actually taller than Her Supremeness. She held out her arms. “Welcome home.”
As Leto returned Endelle’s embrace, Grace put her fingers to her lips. Her eyes burned like crazy. She wasn’t even jealous, but then she could count on one hand the times Endelle had demonstrated anything close to something as impractical as sentiment.
When she let him go, she still gripped his arms. “I hated that you left when you did.”
“Did you truly believe I’d gone traitor?”
She shrugged. “When you’ve lived as long as I have, you really have seen everything. But I was damn glad when James finally showed up and told Alison here what was going on with you.” She smiled. “All right, go get me an army.”
He chuckled, but instead of just leaving, he turned to Grace and dipped down to kiss her. She kissed him back, wanting him to know how proud she was of him.
“Oh, for Christ’s sake,” Endelle barked. “Do I have to get a hose?”
But for some reason, this only made Leto move into Grace and take her more fully in his arms. Maybe he was just trying to provoke the scorpion queen, but Grace thought it was genius.
She let him kiss her for as long as he wanted.
After all, the man had just gotten the validation he’d needed for the past century.
She sent, You know if anyone else had built that army… She let her thought rest.
I know. He deepened the kiss and held her tighter still. Celebration came in many forms.
When he finally did pull back, Endelle was rolling her eyes.
“Get to work, beast-man.”
Leto saluted her and left.
Grace wondered if Endelle meant to watch her work with Alison, but once Leto left she said she had a meeting with Marcus and that she’d be at her administrative HQ for the rest of the day if she was needed.
Grace had no idea what her session with Alison would be like, but was a little surprised when Alison made a space on the white shag rug by pushing the nearest chair and a couple of the smaller tables off to the side.
After pushing the coffee table into the couch, she then sat down cross-legged on the rug and asked Grace to join her.
As Grace seated herself opposite Alison, she felt a certain amount of relief that Alison was taking the lead. She had helped Fiona a few months ago to find her channeling gift.
Grace’s heart was beating hard all over again at the thought of exploring her obsidian power. Somehow, it made the potential of the triad more real.
The only thing she knew to tell Alison, however, was what it had been like for Leto to open her power up, how he’d had to reach deep into her soul.
She added, “I suppose I should tell you that from the time I was young I had the ability to read souls, to see into the deepest parts of people and to find their essential goodness, to discover all they were meant to be.”
Alison tilted her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. “I think I understand. That’s why you were able to leave with Casimir, isn’t it? You saw all that he could be.”
Grace nodded. She experienced waves of Alison’s compassion flowing toward her, and some of her nervousness subsided.
She took a deep breath and promised herself she would hold nothing back.
In order to do what needed to be done, especially with speed, she would have to share her deepest thoughts and concerns with the woman opposite her.
But then Alison, through her empathy, made the process so easy.
Grace spoke first of Casimir, of having read his soul in the Convent when he’d brought a death vampire attack against Leto on behalf of Greaves. “That was when I first realized that I had two brehs .”
“It must have been frightening.”
“And overwhelming, because I was so drawn to them both. But while on Fourth with Casimir I looked into his soul. I saw all that he could have become but for the horror of the early centuries of his life. He’d been used as a sex slave.
I think, or at least I would like to believe, that my real purpose in his life was to lead him to Beatrice’s pools of redemption.
He changed so much after his first baptism.
He was becoming a new man. Every day I saw a difference. ”
“And now?”
“I worry that he’ll die.” Grace shared all that she knew of Casimir’s destiny, how it was linked to both Grace and Leto. “Before I chose him, I saw his death. But we asked Beatrice if the future might be changed. She said only if he completed her program.”
“But he didn’t?”
“No, and for that I feel sick at heart. I felt compelled to return to Leto yesterday, and now here I am. And of course you know the rest, that Casimir is serving as Leto’s Guardian of Ascension.”
Alison nodded. “We don’t always know the twists and turns of our paths.
And thank the Creator for that. If I had known what would transpire during my rite of ascension, that I would be required to battle Leto with sword in hand, I probably would have crawled beneath my bed on Mortal Earth and stayed there. ”
At that, Grace laughed. “You’re exactly right. We would all do that.”
Alison searched her eyes. “What I sense from you is the tremendous courage that you have shown in coming forward to join the triad. I’m very proud of you.
It’s not easy having so much natural power yet not wanting it.
That was exactly my life from the first time, as a child, that I dematerialized.
I was human, and there was no one in my mortal life to help me or to guide me.
So I do understand what it is not to be made of warrior material yet saddled with more power than you ever wanted. ”
Grace released perhaps the deepest sigh of her life. “You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that. My twin and Thorne were always ready for any adventure. But I liked my books.”
Alison smiled. “I so get you, Grace. I really do. And it also couldn’t have helped to share a convent cell with Marguerite, who is also in Thorne’s mold.”
“I admire her so much; I guess because she has all the pluck I never will.”
But Alison only smiled. “Let me tell you something. Pluck comes in many forms. Just because you’re not a wildcat doesn’t mean that you don’t have pluck. Your being right here with me, for instance, is huge. You’re just different, that’s all, and you have a different role to play.”
Grace couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard such wonderful encouragement. “Thank you for letting me see myself in a new way.”
“You’re welcome. Okay, so let me understand. From everything you’ve told me, I take it that you’ve held back exploring your soul-reading power, correct?”
“Yes. But now I believe it’s the key to my obsidian flame power. When Leto opened my power, it was very different from what Fiona and Marguerite experienced. He had to go deep into my own soul. The problem is that I’ve spent much of my life learning not to invade the lives of others in that way.”
“So it feels like an invasion.”
“It’s too much knowledge. It overwhelms me with a sense of responsibility and at the same time a feeling of complete impotence, as though I can really be of no use.”
“Maybe that’s the key. Maybe your gift has a use, in the same way that both Fiona and Marguerite have specific purposes for their gifts separate from obsidian flame.”
Grace shook her head. “I can’t even begin to imagine what I could possibly do with this soul-reading gift.”
“Well, why don’t you begin with me? Why don’t you read my soul, as an experiment, and we’ll see where it leads us.”
“You’re okay with that?”
Alison smiled. “Of course. I trust you implicitly.”
Grace’s brows rose. She had never been more surprised. “But you hardly know me.”
“You forget that I’m empathic and that I’ve been trained to know people just by conversing with them.
Also, in your case, I know you by your reputation.
Marguerite always praises you to the skies, and Thorne has you on a pedestal.
In that sense, I’ve come here today greatly prejudiced in your favor. ”
Grace couldn’t help but smile, and yet she felt she didn’t deserve such praise.
“That look you have right now is the one I want to understand the most. I can sense how unworthy of life you feel. Maybe through this process, I can help you with that.”
“Maybe,” Grace said. But she realized there was a good chance that Alison was about to learn the hardest truth of Grace’s life.
Still, there was nothing for it. “All right, then,” Grace said. “Give me your hand and let me read your soul.”
When Alison extended her hand, Grace took it.
She closed her eyes, and after at least one deep breath, she fell into Alison’s mind.
She felt Alison’s hand jerk beneath her own.
She pressed on through her mind to the deepest layers, letting herself fall until she was swimming in the absolute beauty of Alison’s self, her soul.
She grew very still, until she realized she was being drawn toward the source of Alison’s ability to heal the mind. The source felt like a door with a lock and for which she somehow had the key.