Page 11 of Gates of Rapture (The Guardians of Ascension #6)
He stared at her and remained silent for several seconds. “I don’t know. I seem to need you in this inexplicable, primal way, especially when my beast takes over. But right now, when I can be rational…”
She paddled over to him, close to where he sat. “When we are both rational, neither of us has answers.”
He smiled. He leaned down and touched her face. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too. I’m going to leave the pool now. I just want you to be prepared.”
When he nodded, she slowly levitated up and out in order to avoid the rough rocks that surrounded the edge of the pool.
When she finally stood in front of him, she put her hands on his face.
“But I will tell you this: I did not come back to torment you by playing a push-pull game about Casimir. I am not a cruel woman. My life with Casimir is over. I will not go back to him. Ever. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do.
Also, I know he’s determined to follow me here, but when he comes, you must promise me to let him be. Can you do that?”
His jaw turned to flint and his eyes hardened. “If he touches you, I will go mad.”
“I will not permit him to touch me. That is my promise to you. I will not be with Casimir again. Yet there is something I need you to know if we are ever to piece this whole mystery together and make sense of it. While I was with Caz, I became a mother to his children, to Kendrew and Sloane. No matter what happens here or on Fourth Earth, I intend to be part of their lives.”
***
Leto saw Grace as in a glow. She was so beautiful, yet speaking of Casimir put hot coals in his blood. He felt ready to fight him to the death over having taken Grace away. Yet here was Grace demanding that he set his rage aside.
Time swam before him like a perpetual motion instrument, back and forth, back and forth, tormenting him, past–present, past–present.
He had been a powerful warrior, then a traitor-spy, once more a warrior, now a beast. He was jealous of Casimir.
Before him was all that he desired, yet he saw Grace through the haze of his pain and the depth of his rage. Mostly, he just felt unworthy of this woman.
She caught his arms. “Leto, please don’t look at me like that. Please understand that I’m not a saint.”
“But you are.” His words were barely formed, just a whisper in the air.
She smiled suddenly. “How much of a saint does it make me when I want you so ferociously? Do you know that I wrote erotic poetry while I was in the Convent, and it was always about you? No, a saint I’m not.”
“Are you saying that the whole time you were in the Convent, you were writing poetry about me?”
She smiled softly. “Very sexy poetry while thinking of you. And that was before I brought you out of Moscow Two.”
When she shivered, he extended his arm straight out to his side and folded a fleece blanket into his hand. He wrapped her up then drew her close. His battle gear wouldn’t exactly give her comfort, but she leaned into him anyway.
He searched her eyes. “I owe you my life, Grace. I was near death when you brought me into your convent cell and fed me your beautiful blood. You stayed with me over the next few days, and fed me a second time. I would have died but for you—and it wasn’t just your blood.
Your kindness fed me just as much, and your acceptance of me even though my service as a spy, as Greaves’s right-hand man all those decades, helped to strengthen his hold on Second Earth. Your compassion saved my life.”
“Leto, I know your soul and that you suffer with a profound sense of guilt over building Greaves’s army.
But I also know that you wouldn’t have done it unless you felt it was necessary to complete your mission.
So you have no reason to feel guilty. You were under orders, and like any good soldier, you did your duty. ”
He held her close. She was well named. A woman could not have had more grace than the woman in his arms. Her words were a balm to his tortured soul. “I wish that I had known you better all those centuries.”
He felt her sigh. “I wasn’t exactly present in my life then. All I was really doing was avoiding the war.”
“Now you’re here.”
She drew back. “Now I’m here. And all I’m asking is that you forgive Casimir.”
He sighed heavily because the mere mention of that hedonist’s name brought shards of rage piercing his skull. “You’ll have to give me time, Grace. I won’t easily be able to forgive the man who took you away from me.”
“I know. But you must try. Please. And trust in what I’ve told you; that our fates are secured together with Casimir’s, that without him none of us will survive.”
“You’re asking me to forgive the past because of something that is going to happen in the future, something that required you to leave with Casimir all those months ago.”
“Yes, that is exactly what I’m asking.”
Leto knew she was right. That was the worst of it.
He had been an ascended vampire for thirty-two hundred years and he knew how these emerging powers worked.
Things were known, or not known. The future became very fluid.
Faith had to be applied… and trust. Did he trust Grace, in this new obsidian power of hers, the absolute knowing that she experienced, even about Casimir?
The answer came to him in a strong yes. He trusted her and he believed in her, but that didn’t mean that she would be loyal to him or even succeed in remaining alive. Both realities drove a stake through his heart.
Yes, he knew the score. Very little was permanent in ascension, so just how was he to commit himself to the woman in his arms?
The hell if he knew. “I have to give a speech at the opening ceremonies about an hour from now. Let me fold you back to the cabin and you can shower and dress. After I’m gone, I’ll send two squads of Militia Warriors to guard you.
” When he felt her stiffen, he added, “And in this, my dear Grace, you will accept my orders. If I must overcome my bitterness toward Casimir”—the name came out laced with a little sulfur—“then you must accept what protection I can offer you. Greaves will soon know that you’ve come back, if he doesn’t know already. I want you safe.”
He felt her take a breath then sigh like she was swallowing a brick. “Fine.”
“Yes. Fine. I’ll fold us now.”
“As you wish.”
Actually, what he wished was to take her back to bed.
But that would have to wait. Hopefully, not for long. This first of three nights of the warrior games would only last a couple of hours. Then, if they weren’t quarreling, he would make love to her again. And again.