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Chapter Sixteen

HARPER

I don’t know why I’m so nervous. When Marcus texted me to come over and stay with the girls, I didn’t think twice before saying yes.

It’s not like Marcus and I are together for real.

Stepping out of my car, I study the house in front of me. For a professional hockey player, it’s not what I imagined he would have. The Cape Cod house is modest. The front porch is small, with hand-painted flowerpots holding pink pansies. The sage green shutters are warm and welcoming.

Of course Marcus has my dream home.

Knocking on the door, the sounds of feet running greet me before a younger woman is answering the door. Two identical faces—blue eyes, with smiles that are missing some teeth, and brown hair—are looking up at me.

“Hi. You must be Harper. I’m Emma,” the tallest of the three says. “I appreciate you coming out tonight.”

“No problem.” I look down at the girls. “Hi. You must be Sam and Sadie. ”

“I’m Sadie, and that’s Sam.”

I study the two of them, trying to find any identifiers to distinguish the two. It looks like Sam has a bundle of freckles right below her left eye that Sadie is missing.

Not that I’ll need to learn this.

This is a one-off thing. It’s not like Marcus will be calling me to watch the girls again.

“C’mon in.” Emma waves me in. A staircase is directly in front of me with shiplap walls going up the stairs, painted in the same sage green as the shutters outside. I follow the three of them into the house. It opens into the living room and kitchen. Beyond it, a screened-in porch with open French doors to let in the cool air.

Everything about the kitchen is modern. A sink sits in the middle of the island with black fixtures, and four padded stools face the stove and oven.

Gray walls are covered with pictures of the girls. Bright and happy faces stare up from every surface.

The girls wait by me as Emma hands me a sheet of paper. “I wrote out notes for you, but they’re easy. If you need anything, Marcus said you have his number, but I put mine on there just in case.”

“Thank you.” I glance over it, everything seeming straightforward.

Emma waves goodbye to the girls and then it’s the three of us.

“How did you meet our dad?” Sadie asks.

I shrug out of my coat and drape it across one of the seats at the island. It’s the question only a kid would ask. “We went to college together.”

That’s a better answer than it’s complicated . I don’t think I need to get into our dating history.

We dated in college, got married, Marcus left, and now we’re…what? Friends? Friends with feelings? I don’t know what we are. That’s something to figure out another day.

“You also teach at our school,” Sam points out.

“I do. Mrs. Gonzalez is your teacher.”

They both nod. “She’s really nice.”

“She is. She’s one of my best friends.”

Sam wraps an arm around Sadie’s shoulders. “Sadie is my best friend.”

“Sam is mine.” Sadie returns the hug.

I wish my sister and I were that close. I guess it comes with the territory when you have a twin.

“Well, do you two want to help me make dinner for you?”

“Yes,” they both answer.

“We like helping. Daddy lets us make breakfast with him every weekend,” Sam tells me. “Can we have spaghetti?”

“Absolutely. Can you show me where it is?” The girls help pull out everything we need, garlic bread included. “What kind of things do you make with your dad?”

“Pancakes and waffles.”

I smile at the two of them. They are spitting images of one another, but seeing the two of them now, up close, they have more differences.

“You know.” I set the pot down on the stove and flick the gas on. “I’ve never been very good at making pancakes.”

“Really?” they both answer, giggling at the same time.

“Never. I always flip the pancake off the pan and it ends up on the stove.”

The two of them exchange furtive whispers. “Maybe Daddy can show you how to make them one morning.”

“Maybe. ”

Before, the thought of spending time with Marcus, any time at all, would have sent me running in the other direction. Now? Now, I want to spend any time I can with him.

I never thought that would happen

But until I figure out what this thing is between us, I do not need to entertain the idea of coming over in the morning. Or what we could be doing so I could wake up here.

I don’t think any of those thoughts at all.

Instead, I turn my attention back to the girls. “Okay. Do you want to help make the sauce?”

“Yes.”

Both of them jump down from their seats and start dumping things into the pan I pulled out.

A jar of sauce. A few seasonings. Clearly this isn’t the first time they’ve helped.

Sadie sits on the counter, stirring the sauce as it simmers. Sam drops the pasta into the pot.

“What’s your favorite dinner to make?” I ask them.

“My favorite is spaghetti,” Sam tells me.

“And I like pancakes,” Sadie says.

“That’s because you always get chocolate chips.” Sam rolls her eyes as I scoot her away from the stove with the water boiling.

“Chocolate chips?” I ask.

“Whoever tells the worst joke gets extra chocolate chips in their pancakes.” Sadie continues stirring the sauce before I cover the pan with the lid.

I laugh. “Bad jokes. Okay. What is a good bad joke?”

The girls hop down and go to whisper together before Sam asks, “Where does a rose sleep at night?”

I screw my face up in thought. “I don’t know. Tell me.”

“In a flowerbed,” Sadie says.

My laugh might be more exuberant than necessary, but I want these two to like me. “That’s a good one. ”

“Do you have any bad jokes?” Sam asks.

“Knock Knock.”

“Who’s there?” Sadie replies.

“Orange.”

Sam laughs. “We’ve heard this one.”

“Well.” I grab the pot of pasta, dump it into the strainer before putting it back in the pot and tossing it with a little olive oil. “I don’t have many bad jokes.”

“You need to come to pancake breakfast then. We know a lot,” Sadie says. “We’ll ask Daddy.”

It’s still weird to hear these two call Marcus Daddy .

I always thought when Marcus had kids that it would be with me. The picture of us as a family was so clear to me. Waking up every morning, Marcus with our son or daughter. Us together.

It was all I ever wanted.

Seeing Marcus with the girls at the carnival confirms everything I already knew. He was made to be a father.

I get plates ready for each of us, pour us some milk, and we take our seats at the table. The two of them are chatterboxes all through dinner. It takes us close to an hour to finish.

They tell me all about their favorite things—TV shows, school subjects, friends. You name it, I learn all about it. They ask me the same questions.

Knowing what I know now about these two, they are the happiest little girls in the world. Again, all thanks to their dad.

Glancing at my phone, I see a text from Marcus.

Marcus

How are they?

Harper

Great. They helped me with dinner

Did they actually help?

Sometimes they bicker more than they help

They were big helps

Talking my ear off now

That means they like you

That’s good

They’re good kids

Thanks

Means a lot

I lock my phone and set it down, but not before seeing the time.

“I think we need to do the dishes and get ready for bed.”

“Okay.”

The girls don’t argue as they take turns on their stool to rinse off their dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

“Will you show me where your rooms are?”

Taking my hands, they lead me up the stairs. More pictures line this wall. Sam stops halfway up, pointing to a picture.

“That’s our real mommy and daddy. They’re in heaven.”

“Your dad told me.”

It’s probably one of the few pictures they’ll have with their parents. Their mom and dad are sitting in a pumpkin patch, each holding one of the girls. One is crying and the other is more interested in the pumpkin next to them.

“Who is this?” I ask, pointing to the crying baby.

“That’s Sadie. Dad says she cried a lot as a baby,” Sam tells me.

“You cried too!” Sadie tells her like she knows this.

I look at the picture again as the two of them walk up the stairs, bickering over who cried more. I remember meeting Marcus’s sister a few times at school. Jamie was always so kind to me. When she told me she wanted Marcus to propose to me, I almost cried.

By the time I make it upstairs, both girls are waiting in their beds in their shared room. Pink is splashed across the walls. Each twin bed has a canopy surrounding it. Bins of stuffed animals are exploding from one corner of the room. A small table sits in the window with a chess set on top of it.

It’s their personalities on display.

“Can you read us a story?” Sam asks.

I drop down onto the foot of her bed and look at both girls. “How about a different kind of story?”

“What kind?” Sadie asks. She’s holding a pink stuffed bear that looks like it has seen better days.

“You know, I met your mom.”

“You did?” Sam asks.

I nod. “I did. Remember how I told you I knew your dad in college?”

“Did you like our mom?” Sadie asks, a thoughtful look on her face.

“She was so nice to me. Nice like you two.” The two of them are eating up every word. “She was really smart too. You know what I remember her doing?”

“What?” they respond in unison.

“She liked to make fun of your dad. ”

“He can be silly,” Sam says.

“Maybe that’s why he started bad joke breakfast.”

“Did you meet us as babies?” Sadie asks.

“I did. Just a few times, but you were really cute babies.”

Sam yawns, snuggling down into her bed. The comforter has butterflies all over it, while Sadie’s has rainbows. “I wish we could have a baby brother or sister.”

“Me too,” Sadie agrees. She follows her twin, snuggling down into bed.

“Well, make sure you tell your dad that.” Standing, I tuck both girls in bed and turn on the unicorn nightlight that rests on top of their dresser. “Sleep tight.”

“Will you come back, Harper?” Sam asks.

“I hope so.”

I don’t miss their excitement as I close the door and take my time heading back downstairs. All of the photos show a happy childhood for these two.

It feels like I’ve missed so much from Marcus’s life.

School pictures line the wall. Pictures of the girls with their mom and dad. Marcus playing hockey. Sam and Sadie with his mom. Zoo trips. Beach trips. The walls are filled with nothing but love.

I love that Marcus doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s not their biological dad, even though they call him Dad. My favorite picture is at the bottom of the stairs. It’s recent, from the looks of it.

All three of them have bright smiles on their faces as they stare at the camera. Standing on the front porch, it looks like it might be the first day of school.

They are happy. That’s one of the things I missed most about Marcus. His smile. He always gave it to me so easily. No matter what kind of day I was having, anytime I saw Marcus with the corner of his mouth quirked up, I couldn’t help but return it.

I feel my heart clanging around in my chest. I wanted more of these memories with Marcus. We always talked about having our own family, but instead he created his own.

Without me.