Page 27 of Gambler’s Ruin (Calamity City Mafia #3)

SIXTEEN

SEVEN

I stare at the snow globe on the coffee table. It has the local mountain range instead of Calamity City in it, but otherwise it’s the same “tacky” souvenir as what Lori had bought for Trent.

Vortex is sitting beside me on the couch. “Havoc’s on his way up,” he says.

My anxiety spikes, and I reach out, grabbing the snow globe and shaking it. Instead of what looks like white snow, there’s something the color of sand, so it looks like a sandstorm across the mountain range. It isn’t something I’d want to be stuck in, but there’s also a cruel beauty in it, too.

Maybe I should’ve gotten one for myself, but they’d probably tease me about the touristy stuff.

Vortex slides an arm around my waist, and I put the snow globe back down. “It’s going to be fine,” he tells me.

I swallow hard. “What if it’s not?” I ask, watching the door as I wait for Havoc to arrive. “What if he still hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you. He’s never hated you.” He hesitates, then adds quietly, “He might’ve disliked himself a little, though.”

That thought isn’t pleasant either. I don’t like the idea of Havoc being mad at himself because of something I’d done.

It’s too late to change it, and all I can do is apologize.

He has to accept it. I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t.

Havoc knocks at the door, and Vortex gets up to let him in. I should probably be the one to do it, but I’m too nervous.

Nacho jumps onto the spot Vortex vacated, and I pull him into my lap to pet him.

“Hey,” Vortex says.

“Yo.” Havoc’s voice sounds subdued. “I brought burritos. From a real Mexican place, since I heard you all lowered yourself to eating that crap Mexican food here.”

My mouth is dry, but I force myself to say, “Thank you.”

I scritch Nacho once more behind the ears then get up, carefully crossing the room until I’m standing a few steps away from Havoc.

“Hi,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Hi,” Havoc echoes. We stare awkwardly at each other until Vortex coughs.

“Uh, right. Let me set this down.” He walks around me to put the food onto the table.

“I brought some of each kind. If there’s leftovers, they hold pretty well.

It’s from this small hole-in-the-wall place over near…

” Havoc trails off. “Yeah, never mind. That doesn’t matter.

” He steps away from the table and runs a hand through his hair. “Shit. I’m so bad at this stuff.”

“I’m worse,” I admit. I’m not used to it, and it’s not something I want to get used to. I glance pleadingly at Vortex, who’d agreed to stay just in case things start to go wrong.

Vortex shakes his head, signaling that he’s not getting involved.

That puts it squarely on me and Havoc, and neither of us seems to know what to say. Instead of speaking, I return to the coffee table, where I’d left Havoc’s gift.

“I like the ones that look like sand better,” I say, going to Havoc and offering the snow globe out to him. “I know it’s just a dumb thing, but I like them.”

Havoc takes it and shakes it, then smiles.

“Hey, it’s the Naranja mountains. We drove past them when we…

well, it’s the same mountain range as on those shirts we got.

Y’know they’re named that because of how they glow orange in the sunset?

Naranja is Spanish for orange. But then it’s stupid because everything glows orange in the sunset. ”

Part of the reason I’d gotten that snow globe was because it had been those mountains. They remind me of how far all three of them would go to keep me safe. I don’t know if Havoc will think it’s a bad memory, though.

“We should watch more sunsets,” I tell him.

“Yeah,” Havoc agrees. He sets the snow globe down on the table. “I’d like that. Which is, um. Okay.” He takes a deep breath. “Usually when I get mad at people, I don’t want to not be mad, y’know? They usually deserve it, and if I never see them again, good riddance.”

My heart drops into the pit of my stomach.

He continues before I can feel too sick, “But that’s not gonna work this time. And I know you didn’t mean it, but I felt like shit for a bunch of reasons, but I also don’t want to never see you again.”

“I…” I begin, only to stop because I’m not sure what to say. “I don’t know how to handle people being mad or upset at me,” I finally say, licking my lips because they feel so dry. “I don’t like it. I don’t like that I hurt you.”

Havoc gives me a crooked smile. “Yeah. I don’t like having upset you, either.

But hey, next time, if I say stop …” He laughs bitterly.

“It’s really funny. I’ve been thinking about all the shit that’s been done to you.

Hell, that we did to you. You’re the one who should be pissed at us, Seven.

We got a fucking tracker in you! I remember when we met, and you tried to sneak out of the casino. ”

“And you told me you wouldn’t get into a fight for less than…

ten grand?” I say, trying to remember exactly what he’d said.

“You thought I was trying to escape my rich daddy or something.” I glance over at Vortex.

“Guess that wasn’t so far off from the truth.

” The joke is feeble, and I look back at Havoc.

“Ten grand?” Havoc shakes his head ruefully. “I needed money because of the whole living-with-my-asshole-stepfather situation. But now, you know I’d fight for you for free. Any day. Even if I’m pissed off at you, I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.”

“I know,” I tell him quietly. “None of you will.” And that makes me feel things I don’t understand. “I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t have a choice, Havoc. I thought I was doing something to help.”

“Not that I didn’t have a choice, but…” Havoc lets out a frustrated growl. “I was feeling raw. I don’t want to be the kind of person who strangles people in the middle of a crowded room. And I know that the bitch fucking deserved it, but it was stupid .”

It’s strange to hear someone talk about Emily like that.

I know they hate her, and on some level, I guess I understand why. But she’s still my sister, and I’m supposed to love her, aren’t I?

And even if Havoc doesn’t understand it, I do love her .

I think.

I’m not so sure anymore.

“You only wanted to protect me,” I say, taking his free hand in mine. “I’m sorry for what I said.”

I’d meant it, though. I’d rather die than go back.

Havoc sighs. “Yeah. Just… giving you what you need, that shouldn’t come at the expense of what I need or want, right?”

I shake my head. “No,” I say fervently. I don’t think he understands what I’m apologizing for, but I don’t want to remind him, either. “It won’t. Not again.”

“Okay.” Havoc opens his arms, and I immediately slot myself into that space.

I sigh contentedly when he pulls that arm around me and holds me tighter.

“I’ll be better too,” Havoc says quietly. “I’ll work on not flipping out so easily, or losing control.”

“Okay,” I echo.

There’s another lull in the conversation, where I bury my face against Havoc’s chest and breathe in the scent of him.

Then Vortex clears his throat. “I think there’s food that needs to be eaten,” he says.

I startle, looking over at him. I’m not quite ready for Havoc to release me yet, but he does, and I sigh as he pulls a chair out for me. I sit down, looking expectantly at the two of them.

“I can leave if you want,” Vortex offers.

I hesitate. I don’t really want him to go, but I don’t want to insult Havoc by making him think I don’t want to be alone with him or something equally stupid. “You can stay if you want. If you both want.”

Havoc and Vortex share a look, then Havoc nods. “Sure. I think we can get along for one lunch.”

I breathe a quiet sigh of relief, and Vortex joins us at the table while Havoc starts passing the food out.

“We’ve got traditional pork, spicy chicken, and I got the vegetarian bean burritos because those are really good too…”

I’m taking a bite of the carne asada burrito when Havoc says, “So I kicked Vortex’s ass while sparring the other day. He might need as much practice as you, Seven.”

I almost choke, but I take a moment to chew and swallow. “The two of you sparred?” What I really mean to ask is how they got along long enough to spar to begin with, but that feels rude.

“I was going easy on him,” Vortex says between bites of his own food. “And there was no real ‘ass kicking’ involved.” He eyes Havoc.

Havoc grins wider. “So much ass kicking. He’s lucky I was pulling my punches, is all I’m saying.”

“And you’re lucky I didn’t kick you in the nuts,” Vortex retorts, but he doesn’t sound like he means it.

I look between the two of them, and I start to hope that maybe they can start getting along for more than my sake. “Nope, those are mine,” I say.

Vortex huffs out a surprised laugh. “Oh yeah?” My cheeks flush, and I’m about to retract my words when he continues, “I’ll be careful, then. Can’t have him not able to perform for you.”

Havoc laughs, and he stretches his arm out to place it across my shoulders. “Oh, you should settle this debate for us, Seven. Who would top, me or Vortex?”

I really am going to choke on my food if they keep this up, but it’s too nice to hear them joking around like this to point that out. Instead, I set my burrito down, wiping at my mouth with my napkin. “Um.” I smile, though it feels shy. “I hate to say it, but I think Vortex would top.”

“Damn right I would,” Vortex says smugly.

Havoc shakes his head. “What? No way. Just because he’s bigger? You know how many buff army guys I’ve railed? Big guys like that, they love having their trembling little holes destroyed.”

I have a hard time thinking of Havoc wrecking bigger guys than he does. It seems weird. “He’s also, um…” No, it’s really just the size. Beyond that, Havoc is more aggressive, and Vortex is more laid-back, and maybe it would be the other way around.

Havoc nods at Vortex. “Be honest. How many bodybuilder bottoms did you find while cruising the hookup apps? Because it’s not an insignificant amount.”