Page 26

"How about that one?" Stella asks while she and Leah walk across the terrace of the bar they've just entered.

Leah landed an hour ago. This time, Stella did pick her up at the airport and, although during the flight Leah felt nervous thinking about the best way to approach the conversation, as soon as she saw Stella and they greeted each other, her nerves vanished and she's surprisingly calm. During the car ride they talked about trivial things, the typical polite questions asked out of courtesy, shared a few smiles, and endured a period of awkward silence they managed by turning up the radio volume.

"That one's better," Leah says, pointing to a table in the back, located in a corner so far from the entrance that there's barely anyone sitting at the nearby tables.

"Sure," Stella says, heading that way.

They sit facing each other and a waitress quickly arrives to take their order. Leah orders a black coffee with ice and Stella a mineral water.

"You came to break up with me, didn't you?" Stella fires as soon as the waitress walks away.

Leah moistens her lips before swallowing and nodding with a grimace while a small knot tightens in her throat.

"I'm sorry, Stella, but I think continuing doesn't make sense. We both know our relationship isn't going anywhere," Leah explains, stretching her hand across the table.

Stella hesitates, but takes it.

"We have our differences and our relationship isn't perfect, but you never cared before," Stella says. "Why now?"

A shiver runs through Leah; she doesn't want to lie, but causing pain without reason isn't part of her plan.

"Because now I feel I need more and you can't give it to me, Stella, and even if you could, we're not in love and you know it," Leah explains in a burst of sensibility.

"Yes, I guess that's true, but I didn't think it would happen like this, without time to prepare myself."

"I'm really sorry," Leah squeezes her hand affectionately and bites her lips.

Even though love isn't enough between them, she cares for Stella and the last thing she wants is to hurt her.

"I know, I'm sorry too that it couldn't work out. I really would have liked things between us to be different. Maybe at another time the feelings would have been different..."

Leah knows that's not true, that at another time, there probably wouldn't have been anything between them, but she smiles fondly.

"Yes, maybe. How did you know I was going to break up with you?" she asks, trying to ease the tension in the conversation.

Stella smiles with a satisfied expression and releases her hand to drink from her glass. Leah experiences a sensation of relief at being freed.

"Because you came voluntarily and suddenly. The last few times, I've been the one asking you to come, and you've always complained about having to be the one to travel. Not this time. You called me as soon as I got back from the retreat, like you'd been waiting, like you were in a hurry, and you showed up here as soon as I arrived. It could only be two things: either you were dying to see me or you came to break up with me," Stella pauses and Leah swallows, "and considering how the relationship has been going lately, it wasn't hard to figure out you came for the second reason, so, in a way, I've had some time to prepare myself," she says, making a gesture with her fingers.

"I really am sorry, Stella," Leah insists.

"Is there someone else, Leah?" Stella asks bluntly, looking at Leah with an intensity that makes her nervous. "I won't get angry with your answer. If there's someone else, I'll understand. We live far apart and barely see each other..."

Stella makes a guilty pause, and Leah doesn't need to ask anything to confirm her suspicions that she has been with other women.

"I'm asking because your rush still doesn't make sense to me, no matter how much you say you need more now," Stella finishes.

"There's no one else," Leah responds firmly, "but I hope there will be, Stella. There's someone I like, and I couldn't stay with you when I can't stop thinking about her," she decides to be honest.

Leah omits the kisses with Emily that, although not sought after, she didn't reject either. It doesn't seem necessary to share information that can only cause pain. Deep down, she appreciates Stella's silence about her adventures, so she figures it's best to do the same.

"In that case, I wish you lots of luck, Leah. You deserve someone who makes you happy and can always be by your side," says Stella, and Leah knows she's sincere.

Her chest tightens and her eyes well up. Again, she stretches out her hand and they intertwine their fingers on the table, only this will be the last time they do so.

"I hope the same for you, Stella," Leah says.

"I know," Stella smiles at her. "Would you like to share one last meal? At that retreat the food was awful and I'm starving; I need a good binge on something decent."

Leah bursts out laughing and raises her hand to call the waitress.