Page 22 of Free Wind (Lifeguards of Barking Beach #2)

Monday evening, Blake paced his apartment and checked the time again. Three more minutes until he was due to call Tasha.

Snippets of her initial email scrolled through his mind. He’d read it so many times now he could have performed it like a Shakespeare soliloquy.

You probably don’t remember me

I’m not asking for anything

We don’t want money

I made the choice that was right for me

I should have told you back then

Please let me know if you even get this email

If you want to walk away, just tell me and that’ll be it

He couldn’t get the last words out of his head. That’ll be it. He could have replied to the email and said, “Thanks but no thanks” about being part of his child’s life. Simple as that.

As Damo had said—nope. Not an option.

The reply from Tasha had been waiting when he woke early that morning, the red number one on his email app like a beacon. She’d said she was glad he was interested, and they’d set up the time for the call.

He did another loop of his apartment, the stir fry he’d eaten sitting in his gut like lead.

Blake checked the time again. Another minute. His phone buzzed in his hand, and he fumbled it, his heart thudding. It was Mum’s face on the screen, and he groaned.

No, he couldn’t talk to her right now. As thrilled as she’d be to hear about Cooper…

no. Blake thought of what Damo had said—that for now, he just wanted the nascent relationship with Blake to be his.

There was nothing wrong with that, and there was nothing wrong with Blake not sharing this news with his family yet.

He declined the call and quickly tapped out an apology text asking if everything was okay. The seconds ticked by agonizingly, but thankfully, Mum replied that they were fine and not to worry.

Seven o’clock appeared on his screen, and he punched in the number he’d memorized from reading and rereading Tasha’s email response. A female voice answered, and Blake cleared his throat.

“Uh, is that Tasha?” He hadn’t even known her well enough to hope to recognize her voice, yet they’d created an entire human being together. How weird was that?

“It is. Hi.”

“Hi.”

Silence, then: “This must be Blake.”

“It is. Um, good to talk to you?” He had his mobile pressed too hard to his ear and forced himself to breathe. Why had he made that a question?

Tasha laughed softly. “Is it? I hope so.”

“Yes.” There was more silence, and he added, “I mean it’s good to talk to you. It was a shock getting your email, but I’m grateful you got in touch.”

She was quiet a few moments. “Okay. Because the offer still stands—you can walk away, and if Coop wants to find you when he’s eighteen, we’ll give him your name and he can go from there.”

Blake paced his living room, the wood floor creaking under his bare feet, the rug soft. He had to say something, and he grasped for the right words in his spinning mind. “Is that what you and your husband would prefer?”

Silence for a heartbeat. Another. Another.

Then she said, “Honestly, I don’t know. Part of me does, yeah.

It was Tony who made the case that you had a right to know.

That it wasn’t fair to you or Coop. It isn’t, I agree.

But if you’re not ready to really take this on, I’d rather you own it now and we can call it a day. ”

Blake stared at the surfer over his TV. “I’m ready. I admit I have no idea what I’m doing, but I’m in. He’s my son. I want to know him. Walking away isn’t an option.”

She exhaled noisily. “Right. Okay. We’re doing this, then. I’m not sure where to start.”

He laughed uneasily. “Me either. I haven’t thought about you in years, and now we have a kid. Uh, no offense with the not thinking about you.”

“None taken, mate. I didn’t think of you beyond being a sperm donor. Not that the pregnancy was planned, I assure you. Must have accidentally skipped a pill or mistimed it. I was stupid.”

Blake’s stomach roiled with a surge of acid. “There’s something else you should know before we go any further.”

“Okay,” she said warily.

“I’m gay.”

Tasha chuckled. “Oh, cool. No worries.”

“You knew?”

“I didn’t know, not back then, but in hindsight, it all fits.

You couldn’t keep your eyes off my cousin’s arse that whole weekend.

But you were sweet and cute, and I wanted to fuck.

” Blake could hear the shrug in her no-nonsense voice.

“Honestly, it was all so long ago. I think you seemed keen and a little confused, and I figured there was no harm in it.”

“Except for getting you pregnant, apparently.”

“Oh right, that.” She laughed, before her tone got serious.

“But Coop’s the greatest. No regrets. It wasn’t easy by a long shot, but I wouldn’t change it.

If Tony was his bio dad, Coop wouldn’t be the same weird, amazing kid he is.

I can’t regret it. Although you need to understand that Tony is Coop’s father.

He’s raised him since he was two. Coop calls him ‘dad,’ and that’s not going to change no matter what kind of relationship he builds with you. ”

“I understand. I… Well, I don’t know the first thing about parenting, and you live on the other side of the country.

I won’t try to take anyone’s place. Just try to find one for myself.

” Was he making sense? Sounding responsible and reasonable?

He’d made a list of talking points, and he quickly scanned the paper.

The silence stretched out, and he said, “Hello?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I’m…” She laughed softly. “I guess I’m pleasantly surprised by how reasonable you’re being about all of this.”

Success! He laughed too. “I don’t think it’ll help anyone to be a giant dickhead.”

“I appreciate that. I should have told you when I found out. But it was a few months later and you weren’t even in uni yet. Blinman felt like a billion miles from Sydney, and I didn’t know you. But I still should have told you. I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted. At this point all we can do is move forward.”

“Speaking of which, we’re actually coming to Perth for a wedding.”

“Oh! When?”

“Next week. That’s one of the reasons I got in touch. Squid mentioned you were living out there.”

“Oh!” he repeated. “Next week. That’s really soon.” Holy shit. His son—he had a son!—was visiting. Blake could actually meet him. Next week. His heart hammered. “Great!”

“Yeah?” Tash sounded decidedly skeptical. “It’s probably too soon. Isn’t it?”

“It’s been eight years, so not really that soon when you think about it.”

“Good point.” She paused. “Hey, can we do a video call?”

His pulse raced faster. “Sure. Do you want to… I’ll just… You can call me back.” He tapped the button to hang up, then sprinted to the bathroom to look in the mirror.

His short hair looked neat, but he wet his hand and ran it over his skull anyway. No traces of makeup since it had been days. His stomach tightened. What would Tash think about that?

She was cool with him being gay—would she be equally as cool about him wearing eyeliner and lippy when he clubbed? What would this Tony think? What was he like? How would Blake compare to him?

Will Cooper even like me?

The phone in his hand buzzed, and he realized he needed a better backdrop than the toilet. He sprinted back to the living room and sat on the couch before answering. On the screen, Tasha waved. Blake waved back, holding up his phone for a better angle on his round face.

“G’day again. Long time no see,” he said, which was likely a ridiculous thing to say.

But Tash smiled and said, “Indeed.” She was just as pretty as he remembered, with pale skin, freckles, thick, brown hair that was now bobbed around her chin, wide-set brown eyes, and a thin nose. Her lips were glossy in a neutral tone, and he almost asked her which brand she was wearing.

She said, “This is weird, hey? We’re all grown-up.”

“Suppose we are.”

“Have you told your parents about this?”

“Not yet. I will, but I want to see how things go.”

There was no sense in telling them he had a son if it all went pear-shaped.

He wasn’t telling them about Damo either.

There was hardly anything to tell. Not yet.

He’d been tempted to text his sibling group chat for advice, but they were all so busy with their own kids.

And it felt like jinxing it before actually meeting Cooper.

He added, “Cooper will have loads of cousins. My sis has a baby, my oldest brother’s wife just had their second, and my other brother’s wife just announced she’s pregnant with their third.”

“Busy, busy. Are they still in Blinman?”

“God, no. My brothers are in Queensland, and Ella’s in Adelaide. Squid moved there too, didn’t he?”

Everyone had called Tasha’s cousin, Callum, “Squid,” since it was shorter than “calamari.” And Blake really must have been hard up if he’d been checking out Squid’s arse that weekend.

“Yep. It was a tricky business getting your email off him. He wanted to know why I wanted to contact Blake the Snake, so I made up some bullshit about wanting to reconnect with old friends. He told me to message you on Insta, but I thought email would be better. He had to ask your brother for your address, apparently. He texted back an FYI that I ‘turned you.’ Which of course he would since he’s a bloody knobhead. ”

“He is,” Blake agreed with a grin. “Means well, though.”

“He does, bless him.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.

“And shit, haven’t heard ‘Blake the Snake’ in forever.”

She laughed. “Surprised you’ve managed to shake it.”

“Same, to be honest. The other garbos do call me ‘Moose,’ though.”

“How’d they get that one?”

“My training supervisor is Rocky, so they started calling me ‘Bullwinkle’ since we were always together. After that old cartoon? Then eventually it became Moose.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.”