Page 20 of Free Wind (Lifeguards of Barking Beach #2)

Damo’s eyes widened. “Those words just struck fear in my soul.”

Blake sucked in a breath and blew it out shakily. “Turns out I have a son.” A shiver raced down his spine to hear himself say it.

I have a son.

It still didn’t sound true. “I have a son,” he repeated. “He’s eight. He lives in Sydney with Tash and her husband.”

Damo’s cheeks puffed out. “Whoa.”

“Yeah.”

“Far out,” Damo murmured, tucking a damp curl behind his ear. “I’m sorry? No, that doesn’t feel like the right thing to say.”

“I didn’t know how to feel.” The breeze misted salt over Blake’s face. He closed his eyes briefly and breathed, the sun bright behind his eyes.

“And you just found out?”

“Got the email Friday night. It was when you went to the toilet, actually. I was in shock. Felt like all the air had been sucked out of my flat with a giant vacuum.”

“Ohhh. Yeah, you seemed distracted. I was afraid you were going to ghost me since you’d gotten what you wanted.” Damo fiddled with his hair, looking away.

Blake waited until Damo’s skittish gaze met his. “Trust me, I haven’t even come close to getting what I want from you. With you. Barely scratched the surface.”

Damo laughed, nervous and breathy. “Cool.” A bigger swell rolled through, the wind spraying them with foam. A drop hung on his chin, and Blake wanted to lick it away.

Damo said, “It must’ve blown your mind, dude. The email, I mean.”

“Yeah. Lots of mind-blowing activities lately.”

There was that pretty blush again. “So, what did she say? Why tell you now after so long?”

“Said she realized it had been unfair not to tell me. She wanted to make it right for me and Cooper. That’s his name. God, it’s bizarre to be saying this. I still can’t believe it’s real.”

“I can imagine. My email’s lifeguard scheduling, daft forwards from my Auntie Shirl down in Tassie—that woman’s never met a conspiracy theory she didn’t believe—and spam from Optus trying to get me to increase my mobile coverage. Haven’t had any ‘Long time no see, P.S., you’re a dad. Good on ya.’”

Bobbing on the waves, Blake laughed, and it felt amazing.

He’d been joking and smiling with Damo earlier, and he hadn’t fully clocked how tense he’d been underneath.

The lump of stress lodged in his chest was loosening.

“It’s a first for me too. That was the only time I’ve had sex with a woman, and there are no plans for an encore. ”

“If she was your first and only, doesn’t sound like she made a great impression in the bedroom,” Damo joked. “Or I guess it was in a swag or tent.”

“Just the swag, off in the bushes away from everyone else.”

“You’re lucky a snake didn’t chomp yer balls! You outback kids.”

“You’re telling me you’ve never gotten up to mischief in those beach dunes? There are snakes in there too.”

“Yeah, fair cop.” Damo grimaced. “My old girlfriend Mel lost her sparkly new thongs in the dunes in year ten.” He pointed to the north of Barking, where a rocky spit of land jutted out.

“Around the bend over there. Made me go back and look for them. I admit I didn’t look too hard.

I’m not sticking my hand in a dugite nest or whatever they call their little snake houses.

Then I had to piggyback her all the way home because she said the pavement hurt her feet. ”

Blake frowned. “What kind of Aussie girl can’t walk in bare feet?”

“Thank you! That’s what I said. She didn’t appreciate it. At all.”

“Can’t blame her for wanting to climb on you.

And in Tash’s defense, it really was me and not her.

She was beautiful. Older, so she knew what she was doing, which was part of the appeal.

I’d planned to have sex for the first time when I went to uni, but I decided it was a good opportunity to gain some experience. ”

“Like a science experiment.”

He laughed. “I suppose so. I had fun that night, though. First orgasm with another person. Friction is a wonderful thing.”

“Mate!” Damo grinned, shaking his head. “You never got off with another boy?”

“I wish. My options were extremely limited. Even at school. There was a bit of experimenting when I was twelve or thirteen with one of my mates. It never really went anywhere.”

“So, you enjoyed your experiment, but not enough to get with a chick again?”

“Nah. The spark’s missing. I don’t feel the way I do with men. Don’t feel that…hunger.”

Damo shifted on his board, his fingers opening and closing where his hand rested on his thigh. “Right.”

Blake watched the motion of Damo’s fingers, a curl of lust rippling through his belly. “Anyway, Tash was finishing uni back then. She’s about four years older.”

Damo frowned. “Pretty big difference. I can’t imagine getting with a teenager now.”

“I hear you. It didn’t seem strange at the time. It’s different in the country. Did I mention my town has a population of less than fifty and a lot of them are either related to me or old?”

“Fair enough, hey.” Damo chuckled.

“She said in the email that her husband’s been a great father. They’ve got another kid as well. But I guess Cooper’s been asking about who I am.”

“Why didn’t she tell you at the time?”

“She figured it was her problem. That’s how she put it.

I was seventeen, and she lived in Sydney a few thousand kilometers away.

She didn’t say much else. Not yet, anyway.

” The sun was hot on the back of his neck, the neoprene leaving a few bare centimeters.

“She also said there’s no pressure. If I don’t want anything to do with Cooper, that would be that. ”

Damo didn’t hesitate. “Nah. Not an option.”

“Nope.” Blake’s lungs expanded more freely, sucking in the fresh salty air.

“He’s my son. I have to know him. I’ve always wanted kids, but being gay, I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

But I have a child. He’s already out there in the world.

Right now, he’s breathing and thinking and talking and doing whatever kids do on summer Sundays. ”

“Maybe he’s at the beach in Sydney.”

Blake grinned. “Maybe.” His smile faded.

“I’m still waiting for Tasha to reply to me.

I told her I absolutely want to be a father to Cooper.

I’m all in. Maybe she wasn’t expecting that?

I don’t know. I need to be patient. I’m sure she didn’t know if I’d even reply.

If it was even the right email address.”

“Right. Give her time.” Damo whistled. “Bro, that is heavy. But I’m glad you told me.”

“Me too. I didn’t want to dump it on you, but it feels good to say it out loud.”

“Don’t want to open up to the garbos after book club?”

Blake laughed, his shoulders shaking and head back in the bright sun. “Most of those blokes have kids, so maybe I should. I almost told my mate Rocky yesterday, but I was still processing.”

He watched a big set roll in, lifting them on a powerful surge, powering toward the break, where surfers paddled hard to catch it. “I have a kid. Don’t even know where to start.”

“Sure ya do. First, we’re going for this next set, because it’s going to be roarin’. We’ll carve it up and try not to nosedive, then paddle back out and do it again. And again. Then we’ll grab a feed, and hopefully by tonight, she’ll have emailed back.”

“That’s a good plan. I like having a plan.”

“Fair warning: I’m gonna touch your foot with mine. I’m not a shark.”

“I appreciate the heads-up.” Blake rubbed his foot against Damo’s under the water. “You make me believe everything’ll be okay.”

“It will, mate.” Damo looked out into the endless blue. “This is where you don’t have to worry. Where you can just be. You can catch this wave and not think about anything but the ride. Get this one. Now paddle!”

Blake flopped down and paddled toward the break where the wave met the reef and carried them up and away.

“Go, you good thing!” Damo shouted.

Blake barely made it to his feet as the water surged up beneath him, the power still shocking no matter how many countless hours he’d practiced. He only held his crouch for two seconds before the wall of water closed in around him in an explosion of foam.

Holding his breath, he counted the seconds as he was tossed back and forth under the churning surface, powerless to do anything but wait until the wave chewed him up and spit him out.

It was six seconds before he came up, his board rebounding on the leash around his ankle and thunking into his side. Kicking hard, he swam out of the impact zone and back into the rip, climbing on his board and letting the Croc take him out the back.

He blinked in surprise to see Damo waiting. “You didn’t get the next one?” he called as Damo paddled over to him.

“Bailed at the last second. You right?” Damo peered at Blake seriously.

“Aside from getting smoked? I’m great.” He sat up, straddling his board and wiping water from his face.

“Did you swallow much water?” Damo sat up too, his knee bumping Blake’s as he peered at him seriously.

“Nah. I’m good. You’re hot when you’re in lifeguard mode, you know that?”

“What?” Damo fought a smile. “Shut up.” He grew serious again. “Want to head in?”

“Are you kidding? Wiping out is part of the fun. I can handle it. I’m not a kook.”

Damo laughed beside him. “Didn’t say ya were, but just because you’re not brand new with shit technique doesn’t mean you’re an expert. These sets have really picked up. Guess we were distracted.” He glanced over his shoulder. “Ready?”

Blake grinned. “Ready.”

Later, after he managed to stand up on a few waves, Blake watched as Damo unzipped his wetsuit on the beach and let it hang from his waist, his tanned chest glistening, dusted with hair the color of his darker roots beneath the sun-bleached gold.

Sand clung to the two ridges in his abdominals, and Blake could imagine the flesh rippling under his touch. How ticklish was he?

Blake breathed through the surge of desire as Damo greeted someone he knew. He wanted to topple Damo into the sand and claim his mouth until the sun disappeared and it was only them left with the moon and the tide and hungry kisses.