Page 13 of Free

She ignores me completely. They both do. Remi has given up trying to participate in this one-way love fest and simply has his arms wrapped around her waist. Well, not simply. He’s holding her so tight I can see the muscles in his arms straining against his henley. He’s turning in a circle, and I think he’s whispering in her ear, but whatever is being said is between them and them alone.

I had my turn. I won’t take this from her.

She’s bawling now, and who can blame her?

Lord knows I cried so much this morning the bed is probably still damp.

“Can I come home?”

Shit. I’m going to cry, too, dammit. I dig the heels of my hands into my eyes and will the damn moisture away.

“Yes!” She cries.

You know, I’m rather jealous that I can’t dangle off of Remi like that. Neither of them are straining. I don’t think he’s really even holding her weight. Maybe she’s floating on a wave of happiness?

“Come home. Never leave again.” She lays kisses across his face like a maniac. “As a matter of fact, Let's just…let's just pretend none of this happened, yeah? Can we just do that? Can we forget how miserable we've all been and go back to the way it was? As far as I’m concerned, we’ve been deliriously happy for the last few months.”

Already I'm shaking my head, but Remi speaks before I can. We can’t go back. All we can do is power forward.

Remi stills her manic motions by cupping her face and pulling her away enough that he’s looking in her eyes. She doesn’t want to put any space between them. Again, I can relate to the sensation. She links her fingers behind his neck and holds on for dear life.

“No, Jules. We can't.”

I’ve never been so proud of him.

“I'm sorry, sorrier than I can ever show you, for how…hard these last few months have been. But it showed me, for maybe the first time, what I really wanted, and that I was strong enough to reach for it. I can’t pretend that never happened, and you shouldn’t want to.”

She unwraps her legs from around him slowly, sliding down his body like the loss of contact is causing her physical pain.

“Then…”

She looks so lost. I want to go to her. I want to assure her everything will be alright. But this is between them. What I want to know is what the fuck happened to Remi in the last two months. Because this is not the same man who left us.

ThatRemi was afraid to ask for what he wanted. He was afraid of everything.

ThisRemi is still afraid, but it's not holding him back.

“Patio?” I suggest.

They both startle, Julia jerking and Remi’s shoulders sagging in surprise and relief. Bastards forgot I was even here. It makes me giggle.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “Patio.”

We were always going to end up out there. I turned the heaters on over an hour ago.

Remi entwines his fingers with Julia’s and pulls her behind him into the bedroom. They return a moment later, both wearing sweaters.

Julia is crying again.

“His clothes…” She takes a deep breath and wipes under her eyes. “His clothes are mixed in with ours.”

Sometime around August, the third set of drawers magically appeared in our closet (meaning the amazing Amelia Jones got tired of doing laundry and not having a clear place to put his underwear.) We spent nearly an hour after we got out of the shower this afternoon emptying his suitcases.

His suits are hanging on my side of the closet. His shoes, though certainly not all of them, are lined up next to mine and in the coat room. His dresser is filled to the brim.

Remi is home.

* * *