Page 11 of Free

I know he uses his clothing as armor. If I do nothing else for the next eighty years, I promise to make him realize he doesn’t need protection inside this house.

With us.

The casual, around-the-house clothing in itself will be enough for Julia. Remi isn’t going to run. He’s here for the duration. I fully believe that now.

I fling myself down on the couch beside him, then turn my body, so my knee is on his lap.

“It’ll be fine,” I try to assure him. I take his hand, but he yanks it away.

Great.

I love Moody Remi.

It’s my favorite.

Not.

His eyes are filled with terror.

“I don’t even know what to say to her, Justin. How do I apologize for all that I’ve done?”

I reach for him again, and this time he lets me comfort him. I grab his chin and tilt his face to meet my eye.

“Tell her the truth, Rem. Nothing more, nothing less.” I shake my head, trying to get my thoughts in order. “You don’t need to apologize. You weren’t trying to hurt us. You were trying to save yourself. I get that, now. I’m sorry I didn’t at the time. But I do. I understand, or at least I’m trying to understand, the impossible burdens falling in love with us put on you. You don’t have to apologize for anything. You just need to be here.”

This time he squeezes my hand.

“Yeah,” he agrees but doesn’t sound all that enthusiastic.

“Would it help if we were naked?” I ask, not altogether joking. “You did okay earlier.”

Remi swallows, but a small smile graces his face.

“That’s because it was you, J. It’s different with you.”

Really?

Hmmm, okay!

This is news to me.

I drag my thumb across his jawbone, curious as to his line of reasoning for that. Honestly, I always thought he and Julia had a closer relationship with the whole ‘I’m dark and brooding, and I have daddy issues’ thing.

“How so?” I ask, looking at him as if I could divine the answer by the arch of his shoulders.

“You’re my person,” he says for all the world like I should know this already. “Like Meredith and Cristina. You’ve always known me best. Everything is easier with you. It always has been. I imagine it always will.” His shrug is almost casual, but then he pulls at the back of his neck, a sure sign of his discomfort. Confessions are hard on the soul. “I missed Julia. Don’t get me wrong. I missed her so much it hurts. But I yearned for you, and your smart-ass mouth, and how you always seem to know what to say to calm me down.”

I will not cry. I willnotcry.

“Dammit, Remi.”

I crawl into his lap, and he laughs in surprised amusement when I straddle his thighs.

“What I do?” he asks with a bemused expression, eyebrow lifted.

“I just really fucking love you.”

He squeezes my hips.