Page 15 of Framed and Forgotten (Ashen Wolves #3)
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K O E N
The air smelled different at the amusement park - caramel popcorn and freshly spun cotton candy, contrasting with the salty breeze from the artificial lake nearby.
Laughter rang through the open space, a melody of children’s giggles and the occasional thrilled screams from the few roller coasters.
There were so many mixing scents and sounds, it was quite the overstimulating environment for a shifter.
It didn’t help calm my internal struggles at all.
Even with Elias in my arms, his tiny fingers clutching my shirt as we wove through the crowd, my mind strayed to Avril.
I wondered how she was holding up, dealing with pack matters on her own.
Guilt twisted in my chest. I should have been there, standing beside her, not lost in a sea of flashing lights and sugary scents with my son.
A son who wasn’t hers.
“What if she needs us?” Col whimpered, restlessly pacing around in my mind. While being with our pup usually calmed him, being away from Avril made him agitated, especially considering the situation of the pack when we left.
In an attempt to soothe our worries, I argued, “She’s strong. She doesn’t need us to take care of this.” It was true, though it did little to ease my guilt.
“Just because she can do it without us doesn’t mean she should,” he argued, and I knew he was right. “Mates should always support each other.”
His words stung like a needle. Before the feeling could consume me, I desperately thought, “What about our pup? He needs us, too.”
Col lowered his ears in quiet resignation. “I wish we could be there for both our mate and pup.”
That was the real predicament: how could I keep both?
The question consumed all my time and thoughts after my argument with Avril, yet her ultimatum seemed to only drive us further apart.
I found myself running to this trip, seeking an escape from the pressure.
Unfortunately, I still couldn't think any clearer here.
“Daddy!” An excited squeal from Elias startled me, stealing my attention. When I looked down at him, I noticed him wriggling as he pointed eagerly at a carousel. “That one!”
Adjusting him in my arms to keep him from falling, I couldn't help but be struck by him. The sight of his beaming face tugged at something deep inside me. He was so full of life, so innocent. It still felt surreal that he was mine.
Momentarily ignoring my problems, I let out a chuckle. “Alright, buddy. Let’s get you on a horse.”
While Elias picked out a white stallion with golden reins, I leaned against the fence, arms crossed, watching him with a quiet sense of awe.
I was still wrapping my head around the fact that I had a son.
The news flipped my world upside down, striking like a hurricane, but it wasn’t his fault.
Heaving out a breath, I decided to completely put aside all of my worries and doubts.
Today, here, it was about just me and Elias, no shadows from the past lurking behind us.
Or so I thought.
“You’re good with him.” The feminine voice that had begun to sound like nails on a chalkboard echoed in my ears, reminding me of her presence.
I turned to find Nerine standing beside me, holding two milkshakes. She offered one with an easy smile. “Here, I got one for you, too.”
My fingers tighten around my forearm before I force myself to relax. I eyed the milkshake warily before taking it. “Thanks.”
From the corner of my eye, I watched her attention shift to our son, and her features softened. “He’s happy,” she murmured, glancing back at me. “You make him happy.”
She exhaled, her fingers fidgeting slightly around her cup. Something changed in her expression as her gaze fell. “Koen, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I am sorry. For everything.”
My grip on the cup stiffens, but I don’t look at her. The words should mean something, but she repeated them so often I had gotten used to hearing them. They brought me no relief at all. Instead, all I felt was the heavy weight of decisions I had no choice in making.
“You’re right,” I say flatly, fed up. “You don’t deserve it.”
Nerine flinched, but I didn't care. She had tricked me, taken something from me - something that could never be undone, never be excused.
The fact that Elias existed because of it only made it more complicated.
Still, her reaction caused a pinch of regret to surface.
I exhaled, forcing myself to relax. I needed to keep things civil. For Elias.
“But I do appreciate what you’re doing for Elias.” I forced the words out, my tone softer this time. “He deserves a mother who’s present. A good one.”
She hesitated. “I’m far from perfect, but for him, I try to be.
” I finally looked at her, searching her face for signs of sincerity.
It was there, but I’d learned not to trust what I saw when it came to her.
Still, she sounded utterly honest as she continued, “With all the wrong that I did, he somehow came out of it. He’s my silver lining - the glimpse of sunlight that made me realize I had to change.
Even before he was born, he pushed me to be better. ”
Something stirred inside me at her words.
It was a flicker of understanding, an unexpected warmth that began to thaw the ice I’d built around my heart when it came to her.
Watching her with Elias, the way her eyes lit up whenever he laughed or how she knelt to his level, her voice soft and encouraging, made it hard to reconcile the past with the woman standing before me now.
The memory of betrayal loomed large in my mind - the drugging, the manipulation - but as I observed her, I felt a shift in my perspective.
“I can see that,” I admitted, my voice surprisingly steady. “You really care about him.”
She smiled, a genuine curve of her lips that felt foreign yet disarming. “I do. I never wanted to be the person I was, Koen. It took losing everything to realize what truly mattered.”
Taking a sip of her milkshake, she was silent for a moment before glancing sideways at me. “Avril is really mature, you know. For being okay with all of this.”
I stiffened slightly but strived to stay neutral. “She understands it’s about Elias.”
“Why didn’t she come?” she asked, and instead of the accusatory undertone I expected, I sensed innocent curiosity.
“She has responsibilities back at the pack,” I blurted out, not wanting to let her know about our fights.
But, deep down, I did wish Avril would make an effort to be with me whenever I visited my son.
“Of course.” Nerine nodded. “It’s a lot, too. I’m sure you’re coming to understand that.” She grimaced, looking away as she added. “Maybe Avril never wanted to have pups. Some people don’t.”
I didn’t reply, the subject too personal.
Whether my mate and I planned on having heirs was none of her business.
Though I had to admit, her comment made me thoughtful.
I stared ahead at the carousel, watching the lights blur as it spun.
The thought hadn’t crossed my mind before.
Avril had never mentioned wanting children, or not wanting them.
Could there be more to why Avril didn’t seem interested in Elias other than him not being her son?
I couldn’t dwell on the question for long. Soon, my pup climbed off the stallion, running straight to me with excitement lighting up his small face. “Did you see me, Dad?”
Dad . The word still felt foreign, heavy with an emotion I couldn’t name. It terrified me at first, but…it was starting to resemble a warmth I longed to feel.
Crouching, I ruffled my boy’s hair. “I saw. You were the best rider there.”
He beamed before glancing up at Nerine, who watched us with a soft, almost wistful expression. “Mom, can we get cotton candy?”
My ex-wife smiled. “Of course, sweetheart.”
We finished the day with Elias on more rides, his laughter filling the spaces between us. When the sun began to set, the sky deepening into a dusky purple, the park slowly emptied as families began to head back home. My pup rested his head against my side, worn out from the excitement of the day.
Nerine let out a quiet laugh. "He had a great time. You have a natural way with him."
I shrugged, looking down at my son’s peaceful face. "I’m trying."
"You’re doing more than trying. You’re showing up. That’s what matters most,” she praised, a sympathetic smile on her face.
Her words settled over me like a comforting blanket. I had spent so much time believing I could never make up for last time. That I wasn’t ready to be a father. But today, seeing Elias happy, feeling his trust in me - it made me want to believe I could do this.
Standing up, Nerine brushes off her jeans. "We should get him to bed."
I nodded, gently lifting Elias into my arms. He murmured something unintelligible, his small hands curling against my chest. Nerine led the way back to the parking lot, her steps light, her presence calm.
I studied her, something shifting inside me.
Maybe she really had changed. Maybe I had been holding onto old wounds for too long.
As I drove to the hotel, I stole glances at Elias, snuggled in the backseat, making sure he was okay. Then my thoughts drifted once again to Avril, but this time they weren’t laced with guilt. Instead, they were tinged with an odd, quiet uncertainty that I couldn’t quite name.
When we reached the hotel, I dropped off Nerine and Elias in the front before going to park the car. As I was about to pull away, Nerine glanced back at me, a small, tired smile on her lips. "Thank you for today, Koen."
I hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. See you tomorrow."