Page 65 of Fragmented Illusions

Keep your tone gentle.

Never falter.

Keep your eyes focused.

Never falter.

Be perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

Day after day after fucking day I have repeated these mantras in my head, never having a single second of a break and I’m tired.

I’m exhausted to my fucking core, chained by what I thought I had to be.

Now I think I have another option—freedom.

Sol and Creepy gave me the first lick of it. Sure, it was fear at first, and while I still feel that way toward them, it has now turned into something much greater.

Much more chaotic and a lot harder to handle. But maybe I don’t have to handle it. Maybe, with them, I can let them have control.

“Fal! You ready?” Natalie’s voice sounds through the door, and I startle.

“Yes!” I grab my purse off my stand and pull open the door to Nat’s smiling face.

“Sweet, let’s go.”

The theater is only a couple blocks away—perk of living near campus—and it doesn’t take long for us to step into the warm building. The scent of buttered popcorn and sour candy fills my nostrils, and I can’t fight the smile tugging at my lips.

“See! I knew this is what you needed.” Natalie smiles at me as we both step up to the counter and pay for our tickets and popcorn.

“You sure you don’t want anything else?” Nat asks me as we meander down towards theater number six—which is the one playing the scary movie we chose.

“Yeah?” I answer with a laugh as I toss back another piece of popcorn.

“Just making sure.”

We’re all smiles and laughs as we get seated towards the back of the theater—away from everyone else, although there aren’t many people. Probably around ten others, but it’s hard to tell because the lights have already dimmed.

The voice telling us to quiet our phones before the movie reverberates throughout the theater, so Natalie and I both flip our phones to silent and get comfortable as the previews begin. We sit in an enjoyable silence for the first half of the movie. At a few different points, Natalie’s hand grips mine on the arm rest as the murderer slashes people’s throats, their blood splattering across the screen in a cliché grotesque way.

I glance over at her in the dim light as she clutches my hand yet again. Her lips are parted, and a quick glance tells me the killer is stalking a woman through the trees. He’s wearing a mask spattered in blood and I squeeze my thighs together, readjusting in my seat.

My phone buzzes underneath my left thigh and my breath hitches as I pull my hand from Nat’s.

“You okay?” she leans closer to me as she whispers but she doesn’t take her eyes off the screen.

“Great,” I whisper back. She tosses more popcorn into her mouth before almost spluttering as the murderer catches the woman with a grip on her hair, yanking her towards him.

I chuckle. My phone vibrates again, automatically pulling me back into the moment of dread. I don’t need to see the screen to know who it is.

I try to be discrete as I pull my phone out and light up the screen. Thankfully I remembered to dim it before we left the apartment, so it isn’t obvious. I read the words on my screen, my heart thundering exactly like it was the very first time.

Unknown: we saw the way you squeezed your legs together, pretty girl. does this movie remind you of something?

My eyes dart up to the movie as more blood squirts across the screen. My chest heaves as I slowly drag my gaze around the room, but everyone seated in front of us is staring at the screen, heads tilted back slightly so they can view the entirety of it.

So, if they aren’t in front of me…

Light flashes across my vision as I turn my head to the left. In my peripheral a girl is running through the trees, lights flashing in and out, the camera going in and out of focus. The movie is causing my heart to spike and my palms to grow sweaty.