Page 19 of Fragmented Illusions

I stare down at the test, well, technically, the blank piece of paper. For this test, we all have to write the answer to the question written on the board.

WHY?

I guess it makes sense because this is a psychology class, but the question still irritates me. There is no definitive way to answer—which I know is the point—but I’m irritated, nonetheless.

How am I supposed to answer that? There are way too many roads I could go down. Some are philosophical in a sense. Some personal. Too many different choices and none of them fit perfectly.

Why…I write out on the top of my paper then tap my pencil against the desktop. As I ponder the question, thoughts of the masked men flood my mind.

Why did they let me go? Why didn’t they kill me? I saw them. I may not have seen their faces, but I saw them—what they did.Wherethey did it.

I’m a threat to them in some sense and yet here I am, sitting in my psychology class at nine in the morning, wondering why to the many questions that plague me.

Why am I sick?

Why do I have to be different?

Why can’t everything just be perfect?

Forcing myself to stop overthinking, I put the tip of my pencil to the paper and begin writing whatever pops into my head. What can go wrong with that?

Why are we the way we are?

We are complex beings; us humans. Not only are we complex physically, but mentally as well.

Our bodies heal themselves when they are hurt. A cut, a broken bone, even a punctured lung. Biologically, our bodies begin to heal, albeit with help from modern medicine when the time calls for it—but still. We heal ourselves. It is quite miraculous.

Our brains on the other hand are the most complex of any living thing.

Our brains can do the unimaginable. From the way we are able to learn new things every day for the rest of our lives, and then store that information. Our brains are what sends signals to the rest of our body. To heal. To run. To cry. To sleep.

The possibilities are endless.

But of course, that is only speaking about physical attributes.

What of mental complexities? The things that only happen inside of our heads? Our thoughts, emotions, our overall mindset.

Some are born lucky. Their brains are healthy, and they go on to live relatively healthy lives.

Then there are those born with physically insufficient bodies—meaning there is something genetically wrong with them. Whether it be in their DNA, a fluke, or something as tragic as cancer. Either way; their bodies fail them, refusing to do the one thing they are biologically created to do.

A failure.

But worst of all—in my opinion—are those born with physically insufficient brains. Brains that are more broken than any part of a body could be physically.

Brains that are predominantly hardwired wrong. Something along the way during pregnancy going terribly wrong but goes undetected because there is no way to identify it.

Not until said person is older—much older—and the damage is already done. Irreversible.

Why?

Whyare wethe way we are?

The short answer to that question is; who knows?

The extensive answer is too long for me to write out, but I prefaced it a bit in a way that barely grazes the tip of the iceberg.

Frankly, that question is for the smartest of the smart, and even then, no one could answer it completely because the fact of the matter is, it’s wholly unknown.