Page 6 of Forsaken Desire (Ruthless Wolves #1)

I went directly toward the computer on the long desk. Every second I didn’t have her before me, near me, with me, I burned.

She was alive. The thickness coating my throat hadn’t stopped, and I doubted it ever would. Having her so close yet not being at her side—clinging to her—was agony. I’d rather be sliced a million times.

The human male manning this computer watched me with wide, frightened eyes. He sat frozen on the desk chair, staring. I clicked on the screen to enlarge the one in the conference room.

No one should be watching my mate but me.

“Leave,” I snarled. The surveillance room emptied. I zoomed in on her.

Josephine.

A shiver crested up my spine, and my cock throbbed.

My gentle mate.

She clearly didn’t remember me, nor what I had done. I wet my lips, and my hand trembled on the mouse as I enlarged the window more. Orientations were always held in the conference room, but why the fuck were the chairs so close together?

I speared my fingers through the front of my hair. If I showed up, I had no doubt I would be outed. Alpha, and the owner of the hotel she worked at. It would blow up in my face.

It was too much, and she already seemed jumpy. I couldn’t have her putting more distance between us.

I’d have to get my shit in order before I told her who I was.

Alex stood in front of the screen where the orientation slides reflected off the screen.

He droned on, waving his hands around as he spoke.

Without audio, I didn’t know what was happening, but I was satisfied with having eyes on her.

She huddled between a female and a male, hunching into herself as if to make herself smaller.

Four long years since I last saw her .

She wasn’t dead.

I shuddered, dropping my head.

She wasn’t dead .

Every piece of my life had been planned.

When I first saw her, my future was lined up, by my choice.

My mating ceremony was set. My future was set; I was to mate Cierra.

Joining the two families had been my motivation because land equated power.

Especially the large piece that Cierra’s family would bring to Wilder Pack.

I’d reacted in anger. How could I have a fated mate? She’d seemed so young, so unaware—the antithesis of the women I usually preferred.

I’d lashed out, rejecting her, hurting her so she would go away. It was wrong, and her absence didn’t hit me until she’d left.

By the time I’d recognized how severely I’d fucked up, there was no sign of her. I’d had Bruno and Duane, two of my most dominant shifters, searching for her.

The news they brought me rocked my entire foundation. That pain that I’d felt strike my sternum literal hours after I’d rejected her . . . it had been her death—a car accident.

Swiping my palm over my damp face, I lifted my gaze to the screen. But she hadn’t died .

The male beside her leaned close, and she moved away, avoiding his touch. That mother fucking piece of shit.

My teeth clicked together, and I yanked my cell phone to my ear, calling Alex.

“Uh, in the middle of something.” I watched my younger brother’s mouth move on the screen.

“Remove the human at the end of the row.”

“Uh—”

“Now,” I shouted and ended the call. Alex stared at his phone and shook his head at it, but finally, he turned to the male. His mouth moved, and the man shot to his feet.

Making another call, I put the phone to my ear.

“Send me Josephine’s file and her work schedule.”

“Josephine Garcia?” I grunted an affirmative. “Yes, Sir.” Ms. Zhao was always prompt and to the point.

I shoved my cell into my pocket and leaned closer to the screen, but as much as I did, I wouldn’t be able to touch my mate. My skin itched.

Giving her space was the correct thing to do, but I couldn’t; each beat of my heart thundered with the word mine .

Energy worked through my veins. I stood and paced from one side of the long room to the other, raking my fingers through my hair as I watched until this fucking meeting ended. Why were they taking so fucking long?

My little mate quietly sat, so still. She seemed quiet and gentle, but I’d seen the steel in her—her stubbornness.

Others cowered before me, but she glared. I chuckled, recalling her stiff frown.

My mate could do as she wished.

Fated mates were a rarity, even more so for Alphas. When she’d come into my life, I should have done what I did today. Held her and chose her. But I’d spat in fate’s face, because my life had a ‘plan.’ Fucking idiocy.

If she knew what I’d done . . . She would leave me. A fist squeezed my heart.

I yanked at my hair with my next glide through the strands. Her leaving was unacceptable. She was mine, even if I didn’t deserve her.

Finally, the new hires stood, and Alex handed Josephine a folder. She strode out, and I watched her progress through the lobby, hugging the file to her chest, her head slightly lowered.

Moving quickly, I rushed out of the control room, passing the security shuffling outside the door, and took the stairs to the basement level to my private parking space. I fished my car keys from my pocket and slid into my car.

I revved up the ramp to exit the garage and pressed the button to open the gate. Slowly inching out, I swept my gaze across the expanse of people walking along the streets. The clear sky had suddenly clouded.

Where was she? I rolled my window down and crept through the roundabout in front of my hotel, scanning the sidewalk.

There she was, a bag over her shoulder, and hugging a clear bag to her chest . . . in front of the bus stop?

My teeth clicked together, and I itched to shift to hunt her and pin her down. The large death contraption slowed in front of the stop, where she shuffled from foot to foot with her arms wrapped around herself. She climbed on, and the doors shut.

My engine roared as I followed. The crowded streets of downtown Portland slowly trickled away as the streets became a different neighborhood.

Patches of overgrown foliage crowded the sidewalks as the houses on the street became more run- down.

Downtrodden vehicles line the street, and the bus turned onto a road with even harsher conditions.

Where the fuck was my mate going? The wheel creaked under my grip, and I ground my teeth.

My cell phone vibrated, and I pulled it out, swiping to the email from Ms. Zhao.

My princess had no prior work experience—a car honked loudly, and I stomped on my brakes before we collided. My cell went flying to the footwell, and I cursed. She was already off the bus and walking. The rain had started up.

I carefully inched the car to the side, parking in front of a chain fence to follow her on foot.

With my keys and phone in my pocket, I strode after her.

Her steps were quick and clipped, but what she was wearing didn’t serve as a suitable buffer against the lashing wind.

Her clothing was already soaked through.

I ground my teeth. Shouting at her wouldn’t get me anywhere. I’d seen her reaction earlier; stubbornness ran in her veins. Exhaling, I took the same sharp turn as she, leading down a quiet street.

She approached a brown, dilapidated duplex leaning to the side.

My mate could not live here. Not when I would provide her with whatever she wanted.

With anything she wanted. She disappeared into the apartment, and I quickened my stride until I reached the door.

Pounding my fist on the flimsy wood, I worked to contain my anger, but it verged on boiling over.

The door jiggled, and she opened the door a crack. She gasped, and the chain on the door clicked against the wood.

“What are you doing here?”

“To see you,” I said gruffly. I could hear the shower running inside.

“Oh.” And that was all. Her eyes shifted from side to side, and her face reddened. “I don’t think right now is the best time.”

“Nonsense. Let me in,” I barked, and her eyelids flared. Breathing in deeply through my nose, I calmed myself and pressed my palm to the door, holding it wide.

“I just moved in, so I don’t have much?—”

“I don’t mind,” I insisted. There was no need for hesitation between us.

She sighed and licked her lips.

“Fine.” She shut the door, and the chain rattled as she slid it off. The door opened wider, revealing the empty living room. After striding in, I shut the door behind us and locked it even though nothing could hurt her with me around.

Josephine peeked at me from under her lashes and then down at the ground.

“What’s wrong?” I frowned, cupping my hand under her chin. She peeked up at me again.

“Nothing,” she mumbled. “I’m going to take my shower. There aren’t many places to sit, but my bed?—”

“It’s all right, Princess, go take your shower.” She chewed on her lip and finally nodded, backing toward the sound of the falling water.

The door shut, and I took the time to look around, but there wasn’t much to take in.

Her apartment was painfully small. At least her bedroom contained a bed.

I moved to the fridge, and there was nothing in except for some sandwich stuff.

I frowned and pulled my cell phone out on my way to her room to sit on her bed.

“Shit, my towel.” I heard her little curses, and I couldn’t help the smile spreading. The sensation was odd.

I couldn’t recall anything bringing me joy. When she’d died, or so I thought, it only worsened. Nothing brought me a semblance of pleasure except for killing and fucking. In that order. My mate came out in a plume of steam.

She startled, blinked her beautiful, brown doe eyes at me. Warmth bloomed in my chest, and I fisted my hands in my lap.

She crouched next to one of the plastic bags falling to the side on the ground, and the visual made some visceral tension snake around my heart. She rifled through and plucked out a towel.

The store logo on the bag was unrecognizable.

I could afford Hermes , Saint Laurent —any department store she wanted to go to at her heart’s content—yet here was my mate, with nothing to her name.

I’d done this to her. That thickness in my throat throbbed, making its presence known.

The closet loomed empty next to the bags, and the only other item was a book bag. I eyed her stiff expression. She was uncomfortable. It would be difficult to get her to accept things. A challenge I would take head-on.

“You should have called me before you left.” Those were the words that chose to leave my mouth. I hadn’t given her my number, but she turned me into a nervous fool.

“I don’t have a phone,” she said, avoiding my eyes.

No, cell phone?

“How is that—” I cut myself off. It was obvious she wasn’t well off, but a cell phone was a necessity.

She had a shiftiness to her that put me on edge. I didn’t want her to be so anxious, especially with me. Curling her close to my chest would be heaven.

“I dropped it. In the toilet.” She pressed her lips together, nodding tightly as her eyes shifted to the side. So it was a nervous tick.

She returned to the bathroom and shut the door. While she was gone, I added a cell phone to the list I sent to my assistant.

I leaned forward on the bed, and it creaked under my weight. I added deliverable groceries into an e-cart, making sure I had enough meat.

There wasn’t much I knew how to make, but steaks and mashed potatoes were doable for tomorrow night.

I opened my contact list to my human assistant and sent them a list of dishware, a thicker blanket, and instructions to leave it at the front door of this address.

Then I ordered some takeout for tonight.

The shower shut off by the time the order was confirmed.

After shoving off the bed, I approached the bathroom door in time for Josephine to open it. I collected her into my arms, tightening my grip until her squeal turned into a grunt.