Page 32 of Forsaken Desire (Ruthless Wolves #1)

I sat at the table, staring at my leftover crepes.

Lucian had left me breakfast on the table before he’d headed back to work.

I was supposed to go with him, but he’d won the argument.

Not that it’d taken him much to convince me.

My body was wrung out and exhausted. I would have been offended that he was already up and ready to work when I roused if I didn’t notice his slight limp.

I pursed my lips, pleased as fuck.

I caught myself smiling at the walls for no reason. To the point that I probably looked psychotic. A knock came from the front door. I straightened and lifted from the chair to answer it.

Lucian hadn’t mentioned anyone coming by.

I opened it to find Samantha grinning at me.

“Samantha,” I said, not able to hide my confusion.

“Luna.” Her grin widened more. “I’m here to help with whatever you need.”

My eyebrows raised. She tilted her head. “Can I come in?”

I jolted out of the way, swinging the door open.

“Sorry,” I muttered sheepishly. Her car was parked in the front, her mate in the driver’s seat. “Does Soril want to come in?”

“Nope, not allowed.”

I raised an eyebrow and closed the door.

“Why not?”

“The Alpha has forbidden any males from entering his house unless he’s present. Even with mated males, he has a problem.” She grinned. “The cons of having an Alpha for a mate—they’re too much sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“You’re right—all the fucking time.” She burst into laughter, and I couldn’t stop my grin.

I didn’t want to outright ask her why she was here, but I couldn’t help the curiosity.

“Alpha saw us talking yesterday, and he asked if I wanted to work here.” I could only blink.

Fortunately, I didn’t have to ask because she kept going.

“Usually I work at The W, in housekeeping, but when he offered, I took it without hesitation.” Her excitement was infectious.

“He even offered Soril a new job to keep an eye on you.”

I stiffened, not liking that at all, which had everything to do with me living with constant surveillance.

“Oh, don’t worry, he’s not going to come anywhere near you; mainly, he’s watching the house and he’s to report back to the Alpha periodically to confirm your safety.

” That did soothe the tension, but still.

He could have at least talked to me about it.

“I’ll be here to do anything you need me to. Like a personal assistant.”

“I don’t need a personal assistant,” I replied, awkwardly.

Her eyes widened.

“Oh,” she mumbled. “If me being around makes you uncomfortable, I can just be outside?—”

“It’s not that,” I interrupted quickly. “I just . . . I’m not used to it.”

Her disappointment softened.

“I’ll only do whatever you don’t like. Dishes? I got it.” To make a point, she plucked the plates off the table. “Laundry, or if you want me to go shop for you, I can do that, too. Alpha gave me a card to get you whatever you might need.”

She used the fork to slide the food I didn’t finish into the trash, and placed it in the sink.

I didn’t like having people do things for me, it made me uncomfortable, but . . .

“We’ll figure out our boundaries,” I said finally.

Her smile widened, and she almost vibrated with excitement.

“Thank you, Luna,” she breathed.

“Can you show me the houses in the back?”

“Of course.” She nodded and kept up with my stride toward the hall that led to a closed screen. During the tour, Lucian hadn’t mentioned those two structures yards away from the main house. He’d skipped by them so easily that I hadn’t really thought much of it, figuring pack members lived there.

A stone path led toward a garden of flowers. The path ended and became a cleanly cut lawn. I felt kind of bad stepping on it. Trees stretched into the sky, surrounding the two homes next to each other.

I peeked over at Samantha. She was human and knew more about shifters than I did.

“Do humans have a heat?”

Red bloomed across her face.

“They can if their mate is an Alpha. Alpha’s mates get all the special bits. Knotting, Heat Seasons . . .” She cleared her throat and tugged at the collar of her shirt. I frowned.

“Don’t look so worried, Luna.” Her lips twitched at the corners. “You have lots of sex to look forward to.” She laughed. “And don’t be shocked when it happens, because I’ve heard there’s also a lot of . . . moisture.”

“What happens if there is no mate to sate you?” I wasn’t sure where my question came from or why I asked it, but it spilled out of me.

“Take whatever I say with a grain of salt, since I’ve never had first-hand experience, but I hear it's awful. The deep lust turns into excruciating pain.” Her nose wrinkled, and she shrugged. “Thank Moon, you don’t have to worry about that.” She wiggled her eyebrow up and down suggestively.

I’d gotten severely sick—multiple times—but that was impossible. My pain must have just been denying my shift for so long, because I hadn’t known Lucian until recently.

I rubbed my hands against my jeans. Thinking back to those painful stints made my palms damp. Each time, I’d started a fight to get placed in solitary confinement . . .

She cleared her throat, pulling me out of my thoughts. “And here we are.” She waved her hand at the house on the left. “Bruno and Duane live here. There are like two extra bedrooms for guests.”

Guests ? I stiffened. What about Cierra? She was a dominant.

“You’re wondering about Cierra, aren’t you?”

I nodded tightly.

“She lived in that one.” She pointed to the duplicate house on the right. “It’s the one Soril and I will be moving into. Do you want to take a look inside?”

“Have you been in there?”

“Not yet.” She shook her head. “Alpha said to clean it up and throw away anything that was left behind.”

I gritted my teeth and kept my chin up as I entered the house.

A waft of Cierra’s scent hit my face. I snarled and entered.

The foyer had a little stand. I passed it and crossed a kitchen.

Vanilla started to seep past her scent. My stomach dropped.

It thickened more with each step into the house.

Two doors were open on my way to the third. I hesitated and entered.

A large bed took up most of the room. My toe snagged on a thong, and I kicked it aside.

It was just one of the pieces of lingerie littered around the room.

My heart squeezed like someone had their hand wrapped around it.

Corsets, various thongs, pantyhose. . . all laid across the mattress, covered in a black silk bedsheet the exact same as Lucian’s.

Beside the doorframe lay a bundle of men’s clothes, heavy with Lucian’s scent.

“She did that on purpose,” Samantha muttered. “What a bitch.”

I inhaled, breathing in vanilla mingling with a scent. They clashed, making my stomach lurch.

“I have to go,” I choked out and ran out of the house.

“Luna?” Her shout rang behind me, but bile was slowly rising. I made it to a bush next to the stairs, and my breakfast exited my mouth. I squeezed my eyes tight. Seeing vomit only made me keep vomiting. I kept my breathing shallow and spat.

With the front of my shirt, I swiped my mouth. The first thing I was doing was taking a shower. Another wave of nausea gripped my stomach, and I was expelling more.

A broad male face flashed in my head. A face so familiar and yet so hard to grasp. But in my gut, I knew it was my father. I had his dark wavy hair and his darker complexion.

My stomach lurched, clashing with my agony at my mate’s scent mingling with another woman’s.

Lucian came home to me lying on the bed, trying to feign sleep.

Hopefully, he wouldn’t notice my blotchy face.

I swiped my palms across my face to get rid of the traces of tears that had slipped from the corner of my eyes. The very few I hadn’t been able to quench.

“Josephine?” he murmured into my ear. “Why are you acting like you’re sleeping?” The hair rose on my neck at his breath brushing my skin. After showering, I’d tried my hardest to fall asleep, but all I could think about was the male face and . . . Cierra.

“Princess,” he rumbled, and I opened my eyes.

He straightened with a frown and yanked his suit jacket off, tossing it on the dresser.

Slowly, he undid the button-down. “Were you crying?” He yanked off the shirt and climbed into the bed, arms curling around my torso until he nestled me against him, but for the life of me, I couldn’t relax.

I hated how warm and comforted I felt in his arms.

Had Samantha told him how I’d reacted to her showing me the house?

Clearing my throat, I sat up.

“I’m fine,” I gritted out.

“Josephine—”

“I’m fine,” I shouted, and tore out of his arms, rolling to get away. He grabbed my waist, stopping me midway.

I expected him not to let me go. I glared up at him, hovering over me.

“Josephine,” he repeated sternly. The tone pissed me off.

“What?” I said mulishly. I was clinging to the anger at what I’d seen and smelled in Cierra’s house, but it fucking ached. Even so, that was only part of what upset me.

“What happened?” His tone remained insistent. At my silence, he narrowed his eyes. “I’ll ask?—”

“No one,” I snapped. “I’ll get over it. I’m just . . . hurt.” The anger seeped out of my voice, my lip wobbling. “I toured Samantha’s new house. You really like lingerie, don’t you?” His body jerked against mine. Confusion filled his hazel eyes, and then awareness.

I squeezed my eyes tight. His silence said everything I needed to know. His past wasn’t something I could change as much as I wanted to.

“I . . .” he whispered. “I wish I had waited for you.” Anger flashed across his brows, furrowing them. “I should have protected you.”

His body almost felt stiffer than mine. I was taking something out on him that wasn’t truly his fault. Fate just recently brought us together. I didn’t like the hurt splashed on his features.

“You didn’t know.” I sighed and swallowed. “We just found each other.”

He only stiffened more.

My father’s face flitted behind my eyelids again. I couldn’t stop the tears slipping from the corner of my eyes.

“I’m just upset with everything.” I sucked in a shaky breath.

“I know . . . nothing. Have you ever forgotten something? Where your car keys are? Where you parked?” I paused.

“It’s like that, but imagine never remembering.

Now, multiply it by ten.” He kept rubbing his thumb against my cheek.

“Lucian, I don’t remember my dad. The one I killed.

” My voice cracked, and tears shone in my eyes.

He clasped my face in both hands, and his thumbs swiped across the dampness.

“I’ll help you find out what happened.”

The determination on his face calmed my panic.

“But what if I do find out? What if everything changes? What if I change because of what I remember?” I exhaled sharply. “I could have been a terrible person. I was a terrible person.”

“Josephine—”

“No,” I croaked. He’d always tried to make me feel better as my mate, but the truth was the truth, and I couldn’t change the past. “I went to prison for killing my father. I’m not a good person.”

“Stop,” he growled.

He would accept me, but I didn’t know if I could accept myself. I didn’t know if I could accept the truth.