Page 47 of Forgive Me, Father (Don #1)

THIRTY-NINE

THE LITTLE RUNAWAY

FIVE MINUTES EARLIER

“Kill me, please,” I begged Kai.

“No, sweetheart. It’s not time yet.”

I felt like a washed-out rag. I lost count how many times this fucking bastard was inside of me.

I lost count of how many times he had cut me.

I was certain that I was going to die any day now.

Nobody could live with the amount of blood I’d lost. And yet, here I was still breathing.

“I think it’s time to remove that beautiful face and send it to your husband.”

The gleeful insanity shining in his eyes claimed me. It seemed my death was finally here and I would be set free from this torture.

Alfonso was my only hope of revenge because he wasn’t going to find me alive. Hopefully, he would find this evil bastard and do to him things I could only wish to see.

Tears rolled down my face as he placed the scalpel firmly against my jaw and sliced slowly.

I had felt this pain countless times before, convinced my body had grown numb to it. But with every new cut, I was proven wrong.

A guttural scream tore from my throat—raw, desperate—one I didn’t even know I was capable of.

Shots went off outside and Kai froze.

I was done. I wanted to die.

Kai cursed under his breath, his hand gripping my face as he leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. I didn't fight him, didn’t resist.

“I’ll see you soon to make right on my promise, bella .” He knocked me out with his head and the darkness came as the shooting became a distant memory.

* * *

A steady beeping pulsed in my ears, followed by the sharp chill of mist spraying up my nose. Cold. Clean. It felt like life.

My eyelids were heavy—like stone—but behind them, there was light. Not the suffocating darkness I’d grown used to. This was different.

“Darling,” my mother’s voice came from just beside me, soft but trembling.

My eyes flew open. They burned like fire, but I forced them to stay open. I had to.

Tears clouded my vision as the numbness began to lift, replaced by a deep, stabbing ache that came from somewhere far beyond the cuts and bruises.

It was a pain in my soul.

My lip trembled. How was I even still alive?

My mother gently wiped the tears from my face, her touch feather-light. “Shh,” she whispered. “You’re okay now.”

“I’m going to get Alfonso,” my sister whispered, her voice barely holding steady. The door clicked shut behind her.

“Kill me, please?” I begged through a sob.

“What?” my mother gasped, her voice laced with disbelief.

“Just kill me, mom!” I demanded loudly.

Her warm arms wrapped around me, but it did nothing to stop the spiral.

In my mind, I was back in that dungeon—wrists bound, skin raw, breath shallow.

And then I heard it.

His laughter. Echoing. Haunting. Real.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” I yelled at her, fighting to get out of her grasp.

She pulled away from me like I was a burning coal, like just touching me had scorched her.

Every part of me ached—bone-deep and hollow.

My mother’s sobs filled the room, followed by the harsh scrape of a chair against the floor. Then her presence faded, her crying trailing behind her as she fled to the door.

A hand—steady, warm, strong—cupped my face.

And then came the scent.

Familiar. Safe. Like a distant memory fighting its way through the thick, suffocating dark.

“Look at me,” Alfonso’s voice broke through the fog. I forced my eyes open. “You are going to be okay.”

That’s when it hit me. All of it.

A scream I never knew I possessed ripped from my chest—raw, endless, feral. I screamed until there was nothing left, until the pain hollowed out everything inside me.

The darkness pulled me under again. And this time, I didn’t fight it.

* * *

“You need to fucking fight, Camilla,” Alfonso screamed at me as he pinned me down on the bed.

“Alfonso, please,” my mother begged.

“Stay out of this, Kitty,” he roared at my mother as he cupped my face. “I promised you would be okay, but you need to do your part. Fight with me.”

“Get the fuck off me,” I screamed. It was weird how, at times, he almost looked very much like Kai, even if they had no similar features.

“Please, Alfonso. This is not the way.” My mother pulled at him, trying to get him off me.

“It’s the Pontisello way. The only way we know how to heal is to face whatever they did to us. To let it burn us to the ground so that we can be reborn. Stronger. If you do not like this, Kitty, I suggest you fuck off back home to America and let me deal with my wife.”

What he wanted from me was impossible. He was the reason that psychopath took me in the first place.

The rage boiled up, and I spat in his face.

He recoiled, then stood and backed off.

I rolled off the bed, dragging my broken body across the floor until I reached the corner. There, I curled in on myself and sobbed—deep, shaking cries I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Don’t go to her. She needs to fight.” Alfonso held my mother back as she started to cry.

“Stay with her,” he ordered someone and took my mother’s crying figure out of the room.

I didn’t know who he’d ordered to stay behind—whoever it was kept their distance, silent and invisible.

Why couldn’t he just leave me alone? Let me disappear, fall apart in peace. I didn’t want to live like this.

The soft brush of the carpet beneath me was the only comfort I had. Somehow, its quiet warmth steadied my breath.

I was so tired. So unbearably tired.

A month had passed since Kai.

But he still haunted me.

All I wanted was sleep, real sleep—but every time I closed my eyes, he was there. His voice, his hands, that twisted smile.

A silent promise in every nightmare: He’s coming back for me.

I jolted awake, screaming until my lungs burned. Then, either Em or my mother—whoever had the strength to endure it—rushed in, trying to calm me, their hands gentle but firm as they reached for me.

At first, it felt impossible. A sharp prick in my neck, followed by the dizzying spell that would come crashing down. And then, as my head hit the pillow, the last thing I’d see was a massive figure walking away.

Now, I prayed for those pricks, for the dizziness, anything to numb the void. But that bastard refused to give me the relief I craved.

He wanted to take me to his dungeon, to do exactly what Kai had done to me, over and over again, until I coped.

He was fucking insane.

That was not healing, that was breaking me further. Killing everything to the root.

Maybe I should just let him do it. Maybe he’d break me enough that I could finally shut down, disappear completely.

Maybe…

My eyes fluttered shut, and the silence swallowed me whole. But behind my tired eyelids, flashes of that room danced—too vivid, too real. I could barely force them open.

Kai was there. His presence, suffocating. That sickening, sweet scent that clung to him like a poison. It was cheap—everything about him was cheap. But it wasn’t just the smell. He made me feel like nothing. Less than nothing. Like I wasn’t even human.

His whispers grazed my ear. “I’m coming, bella. I’m coming, bella.”

LOUD AND CLEAR! “Bella, I’m here.”

I startled awake from the carpet, still huddled in the corner. Light filtered through the small gap in the curtains, and I guessed it was around five in the morning, though it hardly mattered.

My breathing calmed, my heart took a few minutes longer to still as I lay back down.

The door creaked open. The bathroom light flicked on.

Water from the faucet splashed into the tub, a familiar sound that echoed through the silence.

Every morning was the same. I could only focus on the rush of water as I drifted into a memory, a trip with my family when I was about fifteen.

Dad had taken us to a waterfall. I didn’t remember much, but I remembered the happiness, the warmth.

But I could never be happy again.

The memory of the waterfall faded into the darkness, replaced by the cold grip of reality. Then I felt myself being lifted from the floor, pulled into someone’s arms.

Alfonso.

He smelled good, like he always did, and for a brief moment, the scent tugged at me, trying to drag me back to the time before… before everything had been ripped away.

But the time before was gone. All that remained was the nightmare with Kai.

He put me down on the toilet. I just stared past him, at nothing.

He touched my chin and forced me to look at him.

“Get undressed and into the bath. I’ll be back to wash you.”

I just stared at him as he stood up from his haunches and pressed his lips to my forehead. At first, I hated it, the tenderness, the care, but he refused to stop, just like Kai had.

The door clicked shut, and I was left alone again.

I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t care if I smelled, if I was dirty or clean.

I would never feel clean again. I used to scrub my skin raw, hoping to wash away the memory of Kai.

But no matter how much I tried, he was embedded in me now. A part of my soul I couldn’t erase.

Tears threatened to spill, but they never fell. I didn’t cry anymore.

Instead, I swallowed hard, and I could still hear his voice, echoing in my mind, haunting me.

“I’m coming for you, bella. I’m coming for you, Bella. I’m here. I will always be here.”

The door opened and his figure just stood by the door. He didn’t do anything. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?

He didn’t. He never did and I feared he never would.

Two huge strides and he was right in front of me. He pulled my shirt off, pulled me up by my arms and took my pants off. Then he put me into the bath.

He yelled again, and I curled up, pulling my knees to my chest, resting my head on them as I turned away. His words were mostly in Italian, but honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered if they were in English.

I just didn’t care anymore.