Page 25 of Forgive Me, Father (Don #1)

TWENTY-TWO

THE LITTLE RUNAWAY

"Where is he?" I shouted at Bas, my frustration bubbling over.

"He’s at a very important meeting."

"With a mistress? A woman, Bas?"

"Cami, it’s not what you think."

"Not what I think? Fuck you." I could feel the sting of tears threatening, and I hated myself for it. How had I let it come to this? Not what I think? He was with another woman, cheating on me!

I’d known it, deep down. It had all felt too perfect, too good to be true. What I thought was something real was just a business arrangement, and whatever connection existed between us? Apparently, he was sharing it with however many other women he chose.

I wish I hadn’t drunk that morning-after tablet. Maybe I could’ve given him an heir and have nothing to do with him anymore.

Tears blurred my sight. My heart felt as if it had shattered. All those nights we spend in each other’s arms. Why does this hurt so much? We weren’t like that. He didn’t love me, and I didn’t love him. This shouldn’t hurt so fucking much.

I cried until my eyes burned in the bathroom. Knocking came at the bedroom door, loud, insistent, but I didn’t move. I wasn’t going to open it. I didn’t care what anyone had to say.

Not Loretta. Not Fiona. I didn’t give a rat’s ass about any of it.

More sobs racked my body. I just wanted to go home.

I was exhausted from this endless rollercoaster, trapped in a ride I didn’t sign up for. I didn’t know how I could survive one more day of it, let alone the next ten years.

How did my life become so complicated? So fast.

The tears kept spilling from my face. Lying fucking son of a bitch.

I fell asleep on the tiles after crying my heart out and dreamt about my mother, who groomed me for a Don husband since the age of ten.

"A Don husband isn’t always fair, sweetheart," she had said, her voice quivering as she brushed my hair sitting in front of the mirror. "But if you obey them, give them children, you can have a wonderful life." She’d blinked rapidly, trying desperately to hide the tears threatening to fall. "It’s what we do. It’s why we’re made.

To serve them. To look the other way when it comes to their needs. "

I nodded, not fully understanding at the time, but thinking I did.

Now, I understood. This, this , was what she meant. The tears she hid, the nights she fought with my father, only to surrender in the end. The Dons took everything. Everything . Until there was nothing left.

A knock came at the door again. I lifted my head to look up.

“Camilla, open the door.” Alfonso’s voice came from the other side.

I didn’t answer, just let my head fall back onto the cold tile and closed my eyes again.

If I didn’t have to face him, I didn’t have to sacrifice every part of myself to keep my asshole husband happy.

I didn’t have to admit that I wasn’t enough for him, that he needed another woman to fulfill what I couldn’t.

Fiona’s voice followed and I didn’t understand what they said but I could tell the beast in him was awake and it wasn’t my doing this time.

“Camilla!” he ordered again. I didn’t care.

Loud thumps came from the door. It turned more violent and then the door crashed open. I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep.

“Camilla,” his voice was right in front of me. I didn’t even stir.

Fiona asked something behind him, and he ordered something in Italian. I really should learn this language.

“Camilla, sweetheart, wake up.” He spoke in a gentler tone.

I pretended to wake up and looked at him. I just stared at him. Maybe I should do nothing. I would be in this business deal for ten years.

“Hey, Bas called.”

I got up and shook my head.

“It’s not what you think, okay?”

“Then why didn’t you tell me about her, Alfonso. Why do I have to hear it from Simi? For all I know, it’s the same woman you were betrothed to marry.”

“I didn’t think she was going to be here,” he said with a frown, not answering my question.

I laughed. “It is your ex? Fucking great.” I pushed myself up from the floor.

“Stop, please.” He pulled me back.

“Don’t worry, my mother groomed me well. You are free to do what you want.” My voice wavered as tears welled up.

I walked to the room and collapsed onto the bed.

Tears were close, too close, and I fought like hell to keep them from falling.

The door shut behind me, and silence followed. I braced myself for his outburst, for him to yell or demand an explanation. But nothing came. Not even a word of reprimand for what they’d done. Not even that.

“This was the inner circle, sweetheart , ” I heard my mother’s voice. I wasn’t made for this. To be his wife. I couldn’t handle the blows of a cheating husband. It wasn’t fair. I gave him all of me.

“It’s not what you think,” Alfonso’s voice said and I felt the bed shifting.

“I don’t care. Just leave me alone, please.” The words fell from my lips in a broken whisper.

He touched my hip, and I moved his hand away.

“Camilla, please,” he begged. “Just look at me. Let me explain.”

“You lied. You told me you had a business meeting.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I get it now. We are just a business deal. I will remember to treat it as one.”

“Camilla.”

“I need to be alone now, Alfonso, please.”

He let out a quiet sigh but didn’t argue. Instead, he gave me the space I clearly needed, and a moment later, I heard the soft click of the door closing behind him.

* * *

I didn’t know when I’d fallen asleep, but when I opened my eyes, they burned from all the crying. Sunlight streamed through the window, warm and unrelenting, dragging me back to reality.

Alfonso’s side of the bed was smooth. I didn’t know what hurt more. The fact that he lied to me or the fact that he gave me what I asked for.

I didn’t think he would. He was so strong in his opinion and I really thought he was going to fight. Fight with me, fight for me, fight because Simi told me the truth.

I got up, took a long shower, and dressed in a bikini and a pair of shorts. Today, I’d ignore him. I’d answer only when spoken to, polite, brief, distant answers. If you stop watering something, it withers. Hopefully, my feelings for him would too.

I walked out of the room, down the passage, and saw him sitting at one of the tables on the balcony from the corner of my eye.

I didn’t so much as glance his way. I just grabbed a pastry, tucked my book under my arm, and stepped out onto the deck. Still, his eyes followed me, I could feel them, heavy and unrelenting.

The ache for him was still there, buried under the surface, but it dulled quickly when I remembered he’d been with someone else yesterday, lying straight to my face.

The thought churned in my stomach. It made me feel sick.

I opened my book and a few minutes later, Nico sat down on the deck chair next to me.

“Are you really not going to let him explain?”

“Explain what, Nico?”

“Camilla.” He raised his eyebrow.

“He is a Don. He can do what he wants. It’s how he was raised. He doesn’t need to explain. I am his wife and will accept my place in his life.”

He frowned. “I don’t understand?”

“It’s all good. He can do what he wants.

I signed a contract for the next ten years and I’ve decided to stick to it.

After all, it’s a business deal. It wasn’t as if I was in love with him or anything.

” I took a bite from my pastry to rid myself of the taste left by the lies I just told and carried on reading the story in my book.

A few moments later, Nico got up and left. It felt as if I could breathe again.

And then the giant came to sit down next to me. Him. I pretended not to see.

“What is going on here? I can see you are still highly pissed off but it’s confusing when you say all is fine. I can see it’s not.”

I looked at him. Fuck, why did he have to be so damn handsome?

“Camilla,” Alfonso repeated my name to get me to say something, but I didn’t want to fight. I just wanted to do the ten years my contract called for and move on with my fucking life.

“It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s okay,” I said with a plastered-on smile.

He frowned, clearly confused, clueless about how deeply I’d loved him just a day ago. I would’ve taken a bullet for him, without hesitation. And he didn’t care.

Now, all I wanted was for him to leave me the hell alone. He said he was mine as I was his but that isn’t true.

“I don’t understand?” He waited for me to explain.

“What don’t you understand? It’s a business deal, Alfonso. You set this up.”

“No, I know that, but I don’t understand what is happening here.”

“Nothing. Nothing is happening here.”

“Camilla?”

“What, Alfonso?”

He stared at me with furrowed eyebrows. “Can I please explain where I was?”

“It really doesn’t matter. Do whatever you want.” I stood up and walked away, the sting of tears rising again.

I just needed to make it back to my room, somewhere I could pull myself together, shove down everything I still felt for him, and breathe.

I walked into my room and got pushed against the wall. Alfonso was in my face, staring at me.

“What’s happening?” he asked, his voice tight with confusion. “Why are you acting like none of this matters?”

“Because it doesn’t,” I said flatly, holding his gaze. “I’d never make that mistake again.”

His brows drew together. “What mistake?”

“The one where I thought I actually meant something to you.”

His expression cracked, pain flickering across his face. “You do mean something to me. You mean every-fucking-thing, Camilla. That’s why I was there yesterday.”

"Please," I said, rolling my eyes, my voice thick with disdain. The anger simmered hot in my veins, but at least I didn’t feel like crying anymore. “Go talk shit to someone else.”

He pushed his lips on me, and I fought with all of my might. I slapped him as I tried to push his tongue out of my mouth.

He grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head, his grip firm, his body pressing into mine.

I bit down on his lip, sharp and defiant. He pulled back, breaking the kiss, breath ragged.

“Stop kissing me, you fucking bastard.”

He laughed as he licked the blood from his lip. “This I can deal with.” He pushed me tighter against the wall and kissed me furiously again.

I hated him for lying, for breaking my trust. But more than that, I hated how much I still loved him. How much I still wanted him.

I swore I wouldn’t believe another word he said. I didn’t want to give in to his needs or mine. I didn’t want to surrender.

But wanting him was a war in itself, and somewhere along the way, our fight turned into something else entirely.

We clawed each other’s pants off and it wasn’t long before he pushed himself inside of me.

It felt as if I was on drugs. Alfonso was my cocaine and every single time he entered me, it calmed the storm inside of me. Reality felt so far away, and I hated that I was so weak.