Page 28

When Lo was surrounded by the entrancing ballad of the ocean waves, he was at peace.

His connection to water couldn’t be explained but he loved sitting and watching the giant waves crest against the sand.

The gloomy sky mirrored the internal parts of Lo.

Those sections where trauma resided and refused to move out.

He’d been trapped in his head for the past couple days.

Only clocking out to commit to his mob duties but once they were complete, he grabbed his suitcase and retreated back inside his mind.

Looking to his right, he noticed Meco walking over.

When he approached, they slapped hands, and he sat next to him.

When they were younger, the twins used to sneak over to the ocean and smoke for hours.

It was their time to bond whether it was in silence or a deep discussion, this was their thing to do.

Silently, Lo passed Meco the blunt while he studied the ocean. It was beautiful how the waves moved in sync. It was a visual he could stare at for hours because it put him at ease.

“How long you been out here?” Meco asked before inhaling the blunt.

“For a minute.”

Leaning back, Meco exhaled the smoke from his lungs. “You talk to Maddy?”

He shook his head. Lo hadn’t been in the mood to converse with no one, not even Bria.

“Ma was about to kill her ass. I saw the look in her eyes. She was on one,” Meco noted.

Lo imagined that reality but quickly shut it down when he realized it would sting if Maddy died and Ada was in jail.

“This shit is starting to get to her. She told me she was triggered at your wedding.”

“Then her ass shouldn’t have come,” Lo fumed. “I didn’t want her there anyway. She don't know how to act.”

Meco turned to him wearing a contemplative expression. “You need to work this shit out. It’s been too long, Lo. You need her and she needs you. End of discussion.”

Normally, Lo would curse Meco out and tell him to kiss his ass. He and Devyn knew not to bring their parents up to him but today, he was in a different head space.

“What the fuck am I supposed to say to her? She’s too fucking emotional and she would piss me off.”

“A’ight.” Meco nodded. “Well, then talk to Pops first. That way he can prep her if y’all have the talk. But you gotta admit, this shit has gotten old. The family needs healing. We’ve been living in dysfunction for years. You ain't tired?”

If only Meco knew Lo had been so fatigued with life.

He felt like he had been running a lifelong marathon with no breaks in between.

The mental exhaustion had altered his way of life.

Having to live with an iron guard up all the time was draining.

Lo wanted relief. He craved normalcy, but he knew it would never happen. Not with the past he had.

“I’ma tell you some real shit… Ada triggers the fuck outta me.

I’ve been doing good until she showed up at the wedding.

Her and Dax bring back memories that I try hard to keep away.

I’ve been fucked up, mentally. Having nightmares like I’m a kid.

I even wake Bria up and she starts asking me questions. ”

“Why won’t you open up to her?”

“For what?” he groused. “I don't trust her.”

“Because she was fuckin’ off?”

Lo nodded. “Yeah, but I still wouldn’t trust her even if she didn’t. I don’t like talking about what I went through.”

“Not even with me?”

Lo turned to look at Meco. There was so much tension between them. So many words that needed to be said but they wouldn’t dare talk about it. Why? Because they were two stubborn men who refused to deal with the issues that plagued their relationship.

“You said you ain't wanna hear about it so fuck it. Yeah, you too.”

Meco puffed out a deep breath. “Is that why you cut me off for four years?”

Lo swallowed hard, peering forward to avoid looking his brother in the face. Meco was wounded by his decision to go AWOL after he moved with Maddy. It was a personal choice that he felt was right at the time. Now that he was a man, he should’ve handled his brother with better care.

“It wasn’t that… I didn’t trust nobody at that time. You included.”

“But why though? Me and you had been closer than anybody in the family. Why was it so easy for you to throw me away?”

Lo shrugged, wishing he had an explanation for Meco, but he didn’t. A feeling came over him at that time and it instructed him to shut down from everyone. Back then, Lo missed his brother. Actually, both of them but they were connected to the two people who let him down.

“So, once you threw me away, you tried to replace me with Durand?”

Lo turned to him sporting pinched brows. “Replace you? Nigga, no. Durand would never be able to do that.”

“Then, why the fuck you start doing shit with him that was our thing?” Meco barked, showcasing how truly damaged his heart was from Lo’s actions.

“You going to the ocean smoking with him. Jumping the gate at Mad Mires and sneaking beer from the corner store. That was shit we did but then you let that nigga take my place.”

“He never took your place,” Lo argued.

Meco waved his hand dismissively. “Get the fuck outta here. You were trying but when you saw that his ass was a lame, you figured I wasn’t replaceable. Then, you let that shit get back to me, and I’ll never forgive you for that.”

Meco’s words caused Lo’s chest to hurt. They seared into him like a sharp blade. Despite feeling wounded, Lo was relieved. For years, he knew Meco was hurt by their past but hearing him finally admit it was a relief.

Subconsciously, there may have been a part of Lo that tried replicating the bond he had with Meco with Durand.

It wasn’t planned but a way to cope without his best friend.

They’d do things that felt familiar to Lo in an effort to remind himself that he was still the same person before his life went downhill.

Yet, nothing was the same. He still had fresh scars that would never heal.

Inflicting pain on Meco wasn’t intentional.

“So, now what?”

Lo didn’t know what else to say. The words how can I fix this sat on his tongue, but he didn’t have the gall to voice them.

“Nothing.”

Lo despised how stubborn Meco was, especially since he was the same way.

“So, you said all that just to say nothing?”

“Yeah.” Meco passed the blunt to him.

Lo smacked his lips and flicked the blunt out of his hand.

“Meek, I didn’t try to replace you. You're my fucking blood.

We share the same DNA. Ain't no replacing that shit. What I did with Durand was trying to cope with my situation. I was a kid going through some bullshit at the time. Can you give me some grace?”

“Grace?” Meco chuckled. “Lo, you don't give nobody no grace, so how the fuck you expect me to give it to you?”

Sitting back, Lo expelled a heavy breath. All of this drained him. The emotions, memories, and encounters with Ada had weighed heavily on his mind. And now his brother wouldn’t forgive him for something he didn’t intentionally try to do.

“I’ll make a deal with you,” Meco said. “If you have a conversation with Ma and Pops, I’ll forgive you for trying to replace me.”

“Didn’t you just hear what the fuck I said?”

“I heard you, but it still don't take away from the fact that you tried to make Durand your new brother.”

Lo chuckled since Meco was being petty. He would never be able to replace him or Devyn. Bonds like the ones they shared couldn’t be replicated.

“Do that and I’ll think about forgiving you.”

Lo didn’t have a response. He couldn’t live without Meco again. That wasn’t an option so he would take time to consider if he had the emotional capacity to have a conversation with his parents.

Meco stood and held his hand out. Lo slapped hands and watched his brother walk to his car. He sat, trying to figure out if he had it in him to head toward the road to forgiveness.

Lo sat inside his car, swallowing back the anxiety that crept up his throat.

He glanced at the door, inhaling a weighty breath.

Lo didn’t know what to expect since he was about to do something out of his element.

He had been incredibly withdrawn since the blow-up with Ada and Maddy.

Bria had been patient but maintained distance, which he was grateful for.

He figured taking time away from his misery and engrossing himself into her was the perfect remedy for them both.

This surprise would be a start to express his apology for shutting down on her.

Lo admittedly didn’t know how to be a good husband.

Bria probably expected this knight in armor, but he was far from that visual.

Lo was fucked up, mentally. He didn’t know how to be vulnerable, and he didn’t feel safe with anyone.

Marriage should’ve been a union that passed him by.

Bria was such a romantic person. She wanted touches of the fairytale life.

However, Lo couldn’t give it to her, and it actually frustrated him because he truly wanted to give her what her heart desired.

When the door opened to the dance studio, a woman walked out, and Bria followed directly after her.

Lo’s sight zeroed in on her, engulfing her with a pensive stare.

She literally took his breath away. Her face was bare, clad in a crop top that unveiled her killer abs.

The shorts she wore displayed her toned chocolate thighs.

Lo still found it difficult to believe that this was his wife.

He tapped on the horn, gaining her attention. She looked at the car, holding her hand over her eyes to shield the beaming sun. When she realized it was him, she hurried over, and he rolled the window down.

“What are you doing here?”

Damn, this girl did something to Lo. Her voice, perfect smile, and angled eyes were some of God’s finest work.

“I came to kidnap you. Can I have you?”

Blushing, Bria glanced back at the building. “I should go change. I don't wanna be out with you wearing this.”