Page 12 of For the Love of City

My father had accounts in our names where he stashed money.

One was an education account and I was able to use mine for school and living expenses.

I still had money left over even after everything.

Link and I had talked about getting a place together so I never touched the money to head to Dallas for my workshop.

I kept waiting on him to put in the work he swore he was capable of and actually show me something.

All he kept showing me was that he wasn’t going to be the person I needed. It took me a minute to accept that.

Mama’s knowing chuckle brought my attention back to her and I cringed at the smirk on her face.

“And you wonder why. Something inside told you that no matter how much your stubborn ass wanted to ignore my warning, you couldn’t.

And it was more than just my mama told me not to .

I told your hardheaded ass not to deal with him at all.

And now you’re in the exact situation I tried to keep you out of. ”

“I was wondering when the I told you so’s were going to come.”

“Girl, it would’ve come a lot sooner but your brother came in here and I had to defend your simple ass for a minute. I’m back on track now. But listen to me clearly. That boy don’t mean you a lick of good. And you wanna know how I know?”

“How?”

Her face softened causing me to let down the defensive guard I’d had up for hours.

“Because he don’t mean none for himself.

He got a kid. And he still can’t grow up to ensure that the mother of his child is mentally okay.

If a man will play games with the person who takes care of his seed every night and have her emotionally unstable, what does that say about him?

Ain’t no hope for a boy like that. He ain’t gone be more than what he is right now.

He’s a corner boy getting caught up every three seconds.

And soon people gone view his ass as a liability and stop keeping him around.

Then it’ll all fall on you to make sure he’s good because Link has no drive in him to be anything more than what he is right now.

He in and out of shit as it is and you stay running down there bailing his stupid ass out.

How many IOUs has he racked up and how much has he actually paid you back? ”

I couldn’t even look at her because she knew what the deal was. “Ma—”

“I might not speak on everything Porsha but I see more than enough. Don’t let that man drag you down, doll.

You are twenty years old and I had no issue with you not going to college.

But you put off time going to hair school.

For him. And then when you did he was stressing you out.

And you’re hustling to ensure y’all are straight while he’s playing around.

You should’ve had your own shop by now, baby.

But as usual, he was holding you back. I need you to understand I don’t say this shit to make you feel bad but to put you up on game.

Something I shouldn’t have to do since I been talking to you about fuck niggas and fuck nigga behavior since you were a little girl.

But you’re the baby of the family and your little spoiled ass is so used to getting what you want, that’s why you act this way.

But if you had to learn this lesson firsthand for it to stick.

I pray it’s stuck in your memory forever so you never forget this message.

A nigga is only gone do what you let him.

He wanna run around and be stupid? Let him do it on his own.

The last thing you wanna be is the girl who could’ve , messing around with a man that’s not going anywhere.

I understand your want to elevate your man, but if he don’t want to ride with you, hop on the plane and fly out on his ass.

What he gone do? Be mad? You see what his anger gets: a fucking tantrum.

Playin’ little boy games trying to impress people who don’t put money in his pocket or food in his kid’s tummy.

You should be tired of this shit by now. ”

I nodded ‘cause even as she spoke I could feel the weight on me continue to ease as my resolve strengthen. “I am.”

“Damn, I feel like I got told off and it ain’t even about me.” Man was rubbing the back of his neck and looking at me with true pity in his eyes.

“It ain’t all that bad but she ain’t all wrong either.” I had to know that my mama was only looking out for my best interest and she would never steer me wrong.

“Now, carry yo ass in that room and bathe. You got that jailhouse stench on you. Get it off so you can get your mind right. I left something on the bed for you, too. So handle that and we’ll talk later.

” She gave me a look that meant she wasn’t taking no for an answer and I didn’t bother to argue with her.

I stood up not saying anything else. I wasn’t mad, just deep in thought and I didn’t want to hug her since she’d just said I had jailhouse stink on me. Truth be told, I couldn’t wait to get my ass in the shower and bathe.

I entered my room and walked past all the accolades I’d won for hair and some of the busts I had in my room that I’d been practicing on.

What I thought was going to be a gift in the paper bag turned out to be a pregnancy test. I thought I’d done a good job of hiding this shit, but clearly I hadn’t.

I already knew I was pregnant but I hadn’t even had the chance to tell Link because he got us caught up in this situation.

Dinner tonight was supposed to be me surprising him but I was the one who got the surprises.

I already knew this baby wouldn’t make it to earth side.

Being attached to him for the rest of my life wasn’t something that I was going to do.

No matter what I thought we had, our foundation was too unpredictable and the idea of having a baby opened my eyes up to that fact.

The entire dinner was supposed to be about us discussing options and seeing if he would travel with me to Dallas and start over.

The clientele in Houston was good, but that extensions program was where my future was.

I knew it like my daddy was tapping me on my shoulder shining a light on it.

I wanted to own the best so I had to learn from the best. With him behaving the way he had today, my decision on everything was already made.

I shoved the test back in the paper bag and put it in my beside drawer.

A call to my doctor was going to be put in first thing tomorrow so this procedure could be scheduled.

Attachments to him weren’t an option and for once I had to put myself first. I was heading to North Texas and there was no room for the dead weight from my past.