Page 38 of For Pucking Real (The Seattle Vipers #4)
TWENTY-SEVEN
LIA
Now
T he world outside is quiet when I wake.
Everything is still and calm. Snow dusts the outside of the bay windows like powdered sugar, and the light filtering through is that perfect wintery blue-gray that makes everything feel soft.
My body is warm between theirs, Devan on my left, one thick arm still looped loosely around my waist, and Tobias on my right, his foot tangled with mine under the sheets.
For a long moment, I just lay there, savoring the rare peace.
My head rests on Devan's chest, his steady heartbeat beneath my ear, the rhythm comforting and familiar.
Tobias's breath ghosts over my shoulder in slow, even exhales, warm against my skin.
There's peace in this stillness, the kind I've been chasing for months, a moment suspended outside of time where nothing demands my attention except the gentle rise and fall of their breathing.
Between the Vipers clothing line launch prep, endless meetings and fabric samples and marketing decisions, I'm swamped.
Chloe's first Christmas with all the milestone pressure that comes with it, the mental acrobatics of navigating a relationship that still isn't public, and the emotional weight of keeping everything afloat, I'm exhausted.
Worn thin in the way only moms and perfectionists understand.
Stretched to breaking point but somehow still holding it together.
Right now, though? Right now, I feel full.
Complete. Like all the scattered pieces of myself have settled back into place.
I slide out carefully, trying not to disturb either of them, grabbing the baby monitor off the nightstand as I tiptoe over my two sleeping giants.
My feet hit cold hardwood, and I shiver involuntarily before tugging on Devan's discarded hoodie that I swear still feels warm from his skin and hugging it close to my body.
It swallows me whole, the sleeves hanging past my fingertips, smelling of his cologne and that indefinable scent that's purely him.
Down the hall, Chloe's soft coos come through the monitor, not a single cry in the mix. Just happy little baby sounds as she greets the morning in her own way. My heart tugs at the sound, my girl, already a quiet watcher. I push open her nursery door and smile at the sight that greets me.
She's wide awake, kicking her legs enthusiastically and staring up at the mobile with those big, thoughtful brown eyes, observing everything with the same curious intensity.
"Hey, baby girl," I whisper, scooping her into my arms, cradling her against my chest. "Merry Christmas."
She gurgles and clutches Devan's hoodie in her tiny fist, pressing her warm cheek against me.
I sink into the rocking chair, holding her close, brushing my fingers through her soft curls that are already starting to form perfect little ringlets.
It's the kind of moment I know I'll remember long after she's too big to fit in my arms, one of those snapshots of motherhood I want to preserve forever.
There's a heaviness behind my eyes. Not just from lack of sleep, though God knows I'm running on fumes most days, but from everything looming ahead of us.
The elephant in the room that we've been carefully dancing around, the three of us in one relationship.
What will happen when people find out? What if the Vipers cut Tobias?
With Derrick and Sebastian's relationship already causing such a stir in the hockey world, I fear for what they will do if and when it is revealed that Devan and Tobias are together, along with Ridley Masters’ sister, no less.
What if Ridley doesn't take it well? My brother has always been protective, and this is something I've kept hidden from him.
Losing Tobias. . .it would break something in both of us. I know it with a certainty that terrifies me. He's become essential, a vital piece of our little family puzzle that I can't imagine being without anymore.
Today, though, I'm putting aside my worry. Today is Chloe's first Christmas, and she might not remember it, but I will. I'll remember every smile, every laugh, every moment of joy on her perfect little face.
By mid-morning, the house is in absolute chaos, the peaceful quiet of dawn long forgotten.
Torn wrapping paper litters the floor like confetti after a parade, vibrant reds and greens and golds scattered everywhere.
Bows are stuck to Glitzy's pristine white fur, and she looks personally offended about it, tail twitching in feline agitation as she stalks around the room.
Chloe is completely obsessed with the shiny paper and none of the actual toys we bought her, crumpling it in her hands with delighted squeals.
Tobias is wearing ridiculous reindeer antlers that light up when you press them, while holding Chloe like a prized trophy above his head, making her giggle uncontrollably.
Devan, ever the extra one, is blasting All I Want for Christmas Is You for the fifth time this morning and singing it purposefully off-key while pretending to serenade a mug of cocoa with dramatic gestures and exaggerated facial expressions.
He catches my eye across the room and winks, that smile that still makes my stomach do somersaults spreading across his face.
Tor and Ridley arrive first, both dusted in snow like they've been rolled in powdered sugar and still arguing over who's responsible for forgetting the whipped cream for the hot chocolate.
My brother is insisting it was Tor's job while the Vipers' captain maintains he was only responsible for bringing the booze.
Kodah's bouncing excitedly in his daddy's arms until Alexis takes him from Tor with a kiss to his rosy cheeks, smoothing back his dark hair with gentle fingers.
Momma Scott is back in the kitchen, floral apron tied firmly around her waist, cooking up a Christmas feast like she's catering for an army rather than our little gathering.
The smell of roasting turkey and her famous mac and cheese fills the house, making my mouth water.
Brea and Alexis are tag-teaming rolls and pies, flour dusting their clothes as they laugh together over something I can't quite hear.
Football plays softly on the TV, providing background noise, while the men take turns wrestling with the toy assembly instructions and failing miserably, cursing under their breath at the complicated diagrams.
It's so loud I can't hear myself think, so many conversations and laughs overlapping, and today I'm grateful for the distraction. The noise drowns out my worries, leaves no room for them to take hold.
I find Ridley in the hallway, just watching everything with that soft look he gets when he's feeling too much and pretending not to. It's the same expression he wore at my graduation, at Chloe's birth, those moments when I think he's seeing our parents in the empty spaces beside us.
"Hey," I say, stepping into his space, nudging him with my shoulder.
He opens his arms without a word, and I go into them willingly, letting my big brother fold me against his chest like he's done since we were kids.
"Merry Christmas, little sis," he murmurs against my hair, his voice rough with emotion he'd never admit to.
We stay like that for a minute, just holding each other, before he says, "They'd be proud, you know. Mom and Dad. Of everything you've done. Everything we've made. This family you've built."
"I wouldn't have made it without you," I whisper, throat tight with unshed tears, thinking of those dark months after the accident when he was the only thing keeping me upright.
"Bullshit," he says with a gentle scoff, pulling back to look at me. "You barely let me buy you this damn house. You fought me every step of the way. You've always been unstoppable, L. That's how we were raised. Tough as nails and twice as sharp."
He kisses my forehead, and I blink back tears, refusing to let them fall and ruin my makeup.
"I love you," I tell him, words seem inadequate for everything I feel.
"Love you more. Always," he says, the same thing he's said since I was five years old and fighting over the last cookie.
The week passes in a blur of leftovers, baby naps, and playing catch-up on work deadlines I've been neglecting. I barely notice the days ticking by, until I do, until suddenly it's hitting me that the holiday bubble is about to burst.
Javier Gossman, the Vipers' second goalie was in a car accident two days after Christmas.
Broke his leg in three places, and just like that, the call came in.
Derrick's bumped up to the second goalie position, and the team's schedule is suddenly accelerated.
The guys are back in practice early, cutting our family time short.
The energy shifts fast, holiday laziness replaced by the familiar tension of mid-season hockey.
Devan takes it in stride, proud of Derrick and his opportunity.
Tobias is quiet, but I know him well enough now to recognize the storm behind his eyes.
The fear of shifting dynamics. Of losing what we've built in this protected holiday cocoon.
Of returning to the real world where our relationship exists in shadows.
"I'm thinking about bringing Chloe to a game," I mention over the phone as they head to the airport, the team on a stent of road games in Canada.
I can hear the bustle of other players in the background, the low murmur of conversations.
"I may as well get her used to all the crazy that is Vipers fandom.
The noise, the crowds, the ridiculous chants. "
"You better," Devan says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. "She's our good luck charm. Plus, I need my girls there cheering me on. Makes me skate faster."
"Only if Glitzy doesn't protest," Tobias jokes, and I can hear the tired smile in his voice.